A Blog about Sensory Processing Sensitivity from the Worldview of a High Sensing Male
Years ago, a young Gregg Allman penned a song, one of the best blues tunes of that era, about a man being abused and used by an amour. The song was aptly called Whipping Post. He cried out in the song, that the anguish and pain felt like being tied to a whipping post. The gritty blues song belted out with his gravelly, bluesy voice and masterfully played by his fellow bandmates, epitomized the pain of emotion gone wrong. HSP men, often easygoing, gentle men, sometimes find themselves on the brunt end of emotional flak from insensitive men and women.
The criticisms and put-downs are often related to our sensitive nature, which is in sharp contrast to theirs. Perhaps, we are criticized as well for our insights and intuitions or because of the ups and downs of our emotional makeup. It sometimes feels like we are tied to an emotional whipping post to be flogged and humiliated in public displays of pseudo dominance.
Why all the hate?
Lesser men often attack those they think are weaker. This bullying is nothing more than internalized insecurity, probably from an early childhood background of abuse and neglect. They are wounded, you are not. You, as an HSP, express the things that they repress -the emotion, the feelings, the empathy that they lack, but secretly crave. They resent you for your ability to express these things that make us human – the ability to care, to nurture, and be supportive.
Even some women get into this game, often because they have unrealistic fantasies about men as superheroes, saviors and warriors, white knights to save them from their core insecurities. This, again, brought to them by poor socialization and self-esteem learned from their parents. These women put you down because you don’t live up to their projection of what a man is supposed to be. They chain you to the whipping post and try to humiliate you—another example of insecurity.
Don’t internalize the negativity.
Whatever you do, don’t internalize this negativity. Walk away from this crap. Confrontation does not lead to resolution. Don’t take the comments to heart. They are not a projection of you, but rather the “other” projecting on you their fears and insecurities. This is a life lesson for all HSPs, don’t let your sensitive nature absorb the toxicity of others.
Let go of the attacks.
So what to do? Unleash yourself from the shackles of the whipping post. Don’t be a target for these weak people. In a real power move on your part – walk away. You hold the power of the chains that bind you. Keep your head up, move on. Your strength lies within you. You are, in the end, the better man for disengaging.
Remember, you tie yourself to the whipping post by any inaction on your part. The whipping post, by its very definition, is a tool for humiliation and pain. Never let anyone denigrate you for who you are and what you are. We, as HSPs, are done with this. The tide is turning.
Bill Allen lives in Bend, Oregon. He is a certified hypnotist and brain training coach at BrainPilots.com. He believes that male sensitivity is not so rare, but it can be confounding for most males living in a culture of masculine insensitivity which teaches boys and men to disconnect from their feelings and emotions. His intent is to use this blog to chronicle his personal journey and share with others.