A Blog about Sensory Processing Sensitivity from the Worldview of a High Sensing Male
 
I’ve been writing about toxic masculinity lately, mainly because it has become more noticeable and visible in every aspect of our lives. I’ve also noticed that toxic masculinity is not just something that men perpetrate, but I have noticed some women are now espousing this philosophy. Toxic politics may be to blame with its scorched earth mentality towards the opposition.  Granted, the vast majority of women are not for this corrupted version of masculinity, but still, some seem to champion it amongst their men and even incorporate it in their outlook towards others. The Darwinian paradox at play, I suppose.

It seems to me that inherent to this phenomenon is inward cowardice, so-called manly men, trapping themselves in their toy soldier suits of armor, marching about menacingly, and calling themselves courageous. Yet they prey on the weak and vulnerable, like marauding herds of hyenas. Their “victories” are hollow and shameless, the triumph of shallow men. We are now surrounded by cowardly men – empowered by social media, spewing their culture of lies and distortions, deception, and malice. They become our paper leaders. As a society, we are better than this.

Where is the Honor?
Have we lost our will to show honor? Do real men need to breach the etiquette of decency, to deviate from the precepts of equality, genuine liberty, and full brotherhood and sisterhood to all men and women? What depravity has led us to this place we now find ourselves? Honor beseeches us to consider the virtue of the greater good. The suppression of others has no place in an advanced society.

 Has our technology surpassed our ability to act as thoughtful, rational, and compassionate humans? There is no honor in toxic masculinity, only raw one-celled emotion, a selfish desire to consume at all costs for ones on pleasure. We see the cost every day, in our environment, our culture, our obsession with money over life, and the self-aggrandizement of selfish desire. We have hit that peak moment in our politics. We are empowering cowardly men to decide the fate of all of us. I see no honor there.

Where is the Obligation?
Our leaders have failed us. They have been elected to protect and to serve us, yet they serve some other master. Where is their obligation to be virtuous leaders? We live in a culture where a few have everything serviced by cowardly men who step and fetch to their master’s whims. Look around; you see the greatest in need are the least served. We are surrounded by reptilian selfishness. A few oblige themselves to hoard in epic proportions, leaving none for the rest of us. Where is the mammalian service, the tending to the herd? This few have spewed lies about striving for the common good, calling it radical socialism and authoritarian communism and other pejoratives that discourage honest discourse on the obligation we have to each other.

Where is the Moral Integrity?
What happened to our foundations of moral integrity? Those universal truths that are supposed to be self-evident.  Have we lost our moral compass? We live our lives if codes of ethics no longer matter. When lies masquerade as truths when there are no consequences for breaking societal boundaries, the floor comes out from within us, and we sink deeper into moral depravity. Where is the courage in that? We are suffering from an empathy deficiency. When selfish interests replace empathy, then morality takes wing, order becomes chaos, and the cowardly grifters sit like noisy vultures at the commons table.  Without empathy, there is no morality.

Where is Courage?
Do we even know what courage is anymore? I mean real courage, not the false bravado kind you see with the legions of toy soldiers with their camo gear and military-grade guns. This week we lost a true warrior, a man of courage, and an HSP male, Congressman John Lewis. He was a peaceful warrior who wielded the weapons of persistence, kindness, and the fiery sword of truth. He took his beatings, but he never yielded. That, children, is bravery. This is courage.
Cowards hide behind their external shields, while brave men, like John Lewis, stand out in the light of day. Real courage comes from within – it is gender-neutral and age-neutral. Courage means to plant feet firmly in-ground and stand up for something greater than yourself, yes, even in the face of sinister opposition. Courage does not hide or blame, and you don’t need to swagger as a manly man to be brave. Inner strength arises when enough is enough.

HSP men should rise now. History is calling us to rise now. We can and are required to model the changes needed – the changes in men’s voices. We can be that change. We can show that courage is lacking in the toxic masculines we see all around us; they are the corruption of manhood. They are the distortion of masculinity. They are cowardly men.  They are not the good men that will lead us into the better world we need. We must be that change.  All good men must rise and take back our world.
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“Be the change we wish to see(k),” Mahatma Gandhi
 
 
 

A Blog about Sensory Processing Sensitivity from the Worldview of a High Sensing Male
 
Overcoming overwhelm is an HSPs number one priority. There are so many tools out there that can aid in calming your mind and helping you settle down when overwhelm strikes. There are many mobile phone apps specifically designed for relaxation and calming and are portable and generally easy to use. Since most people travel with their phones in easy reach, these might aid in helping HSPs relax when out and about or even at home. Most of the apps featured or low cost or have a modest subscription fee or are free for the basic service. They should also both be available for IOS and Android.  Of course, this is not an exhaustive list but can serve as a jumping-off point to start your journey exploring tools to help you.  There is some overlap in the groups.    

# 1 – Mindfulness/Meditation Apps– The purpose of these apps is to help you with starting a daily meditation practice or helping you learn to be mindful of your anxiety or intrusive thoughts. When doing meditation or deep relaxation, it is essential to reach a state of dominant alpha or theta brainwave activity to achieve that blissful state of relaxation. Brainwave state is dynamic, and to maintain the needed state takes work and discipline, this is where the benefit of the app comes in. Although the apps aren’t necessary to create this state, they serve as an immediate feedback loop to the user.

• Calm – One of the most recognized and bestselling apps for meditation and relaxation. The app specializes in sleep and relaxation with guided meditations, relaxing music, and exercises to calm the mind. It includes mindfulness programs and even bedtime stories.
• Dare Break from Anxiety – This app uses evidenced-based training programs to help you reduce anxiety, panic attacks, and negative thinking.
• Headspace – More guided meditations with exercises for practicing mindfulness.
• Rootd – This is a female-led company that produces an app for relieving panic attacks and anxiety. It features deep breathing exercises and provides understanding lessons about the whys of anxiety and panic attacks.
• Insight Timer – This is one that I use for daily meditation. For the most part, it is a free app. It provides guided meditations and allows you to customize your meditation tracks with music and ambient sounds. If you are looking for a free app with a lot of features, I recommend this.

#2 – Neurofeedback and Biofeedback Apps - Like the meditation apps, the neurofeedback or biofeedback apps use some measuring device to provide you with feedback on your mental state. The feedback helps you achieve calm, lower brainwave activity, or aid in controlling breathing or heart rate.

• Breath to Relax – This is a stress management tool. It monitors heart rate and teaches diaphragmatic breathing to achieve relaxation.
• Happify – This is a science-backed, evidenced-based app that uses psychological techniques such as positive psychology and CBT (cognitive behavior therapy). It aids in dealing with negative thinking, which can be a problem for many HSPs.
• My Calm Beat – this apps works by increasing Heart Rate Variability (HRV) by using slow breathing techniques. The app does require a heart rate monitor to start.
• Inner Balance – This app is from the HeartMath Institute. It does require an HRV monitor sensor. It helps teach a calm mind with HRV as the metric.

#3 – Music Apps – Binaural and Isochronic Enhanced Apps – These apps use technology that helps entrain the brain to a particular state or dominant brainwave patterns such as alpha or theta, great for deep relaxation or meditation. Binaural beats use alternating signals (Hz) that the brain hears in each ear. The brain entrains to the midpoint, which is the desired state. Isochronic tones are similar in the result but use pulsed signals to achieve the same state. Other tools monitor the breathing rate (see above) and help you regulate your breathing rate for relaxation and or heart rate to calm and relax the body.

• Relax Melodies – This app focuses on producing nature sounds and white noise but can create isochronic tones and binaural beats.
• Atmosphere – Another app that can create environmental sounds but can produce isochronic tones and binaural beats.

#4 – Mindful Practice Apps (Tai Chi and Yoga) – Although with both of these ancient practices it is best to work with a trained teacher or master to ensure that you are doing the techniques correctly, using a phone app to learn the basics is an excellent way to get started with a mindful practice. You can determine if you want to pursue either practice more formally. These are great for their mobility and portability.

• Yang Tai Chi for Beginners – This app provides videos of various Tai Chi movements provided by Master Yang. Also, some Qigong movements are taught. There is a cost to move to more advanced videos.
• Pocket Yoga – The app offers various Yoga poses with instructions.
• Daily Yoga – offers a wide range of levels for practicing Yoga. The app has tracking features to keep track of your practice.
• Simply Yoga – has six different predefined routines for all levels of practitioners.

#5 –Nature Sounds Apps (White Noise) – When it comes to solitude and quiet, often we HSPs can’t find it. Either we are in a noisy environment, or we can’t quiet our minds. The use of relaxation music or white noise, such as nature sounds, repetitive white noise sounds like static or life sounds that can drown out distracting noises in our lives, helps us calm and focus the mind. These are great for being alone in a crowded space. They even work in nature if the place you find yourself in is too quiet. Use these to achieve a sense of solitude and separation, which is often vital for HSPs.

• Rainy Mood – This app has a variety of rain/water sounds that can help create that mood of cozy isolation, with the sounds of rain or water in the background. These sounds work great for relaxation.
• My Noise – This is a white noised generator. Don’t throw out the idea of using white noise to create a more unobstructed mental space in which to think or not think.

 
Understand that all old school Luddites may bristle at the idea of using phone apps for relaxation practice and that it should and can be achieved internally without the use of electronics. And this is true to some extent. However, getting started with the old-fashioned ways can require a certain discipline and strict adherence that many folks don’t have the time or inclination to achieve. Many HSPs will like the convenience of a spot fix, such as an app, that they can pull out on the fly for immediate relief. And phone apps can’t be beaten for timeliness or convenience. They are worth taking a look. There are many, many apps available, so travel beyond the suggestions and explore on your own. I’d love to hear what you find.