The Sensitive Man - Cultivating Gratitude: A Path to Inner Strength for Highly Sensitive Men5/31/2023  A Blog about Sensory Processing Sensitivity from the Worldview of a High-Sensing Male
Total words 816, Time to read: 3 minutes 26 seconds Being a highly sensitive man comes with unique challenges, but it also presents an opportunity for deep introspection and personal growth. In navigating the complexities of life, one powerful tool that can greatly enhance well-being is gratitude. Practicing gratitude allows highly sensitive men to shift their focus from the negatives to the positives, fostering a positive mindset and nurturing their overall emotional health. What is Gratitude, and How Does It Affect Highly Sensitive Men? Gratitude is more than just saying "thank you." It is a transformative practice that involves acknowledging and appreciating the blessings, big or small, in our lives. For highly sensitive men, cultivating gratitude can profoundly impact their attitude and emotional well-being. It enables them to shift their perspective, focusing on the abundance and positivity surrounding them rather than getting overwhelmed by their challenges. Gratitude also plays a crucial role in managing emotions and reducing stress, providing a sense of inner calm and balance. Methods of Practicing Gratitude
When to Practice Gratitude
Things to Be Grateful for as a Highly Sensitive Man You possess unique qualities and strengths worth celebrating as a highly sensitive man. Consider focusing your gratitude on the following:
Benefits of Practicing Gratitude and Developing a Daily Habit By incorporating gratitude into your daily life, you can experience a range of benefits, including:
Practicing gratitude is a transformative journey that can profoundly impact the lives of highly sensitive men. By focusing on the positives, expressing appreciation, and reflecting on the blessings in their lives, they can foster a positive mindset, cultivate inner strength, and nurture their overall well-being. Embrace the power of gratitude in your life, starting today. Begin each day with gratitude, end each day with reflection, and watch as your perspective shifts, opening doors to a more fulfilling and joyful existence.
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 A Blog about Sensory Processing Sensitivity from the Worldview of a High-Sensing Male
Total words 817, Time to read: 3 minutes 26 seconds Being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) as a man can sometimes feel like a lonely journey. But the truth is, you're not alone. Understanding and embracing your HSP traits can lead to a transformative experience. In this article, we'll explore the importance of finding support as a highly sensitive man and discover ways to build and nurture supportive communities. Addressing Challenges and Embracing Strengths HSP men face unique challenges in a world that often values toughness and emotional suppression. However, acknowledging and embracing your sensitivity can unlock hidden strengths. Finding support allows you to navigate challenges while leveraging your empathetic nature, deep thinking abilities, and heightened intuition. The Importance of Fellowship with HSP Men Shared experiences and empathy: Connecting with fellow HSP men provides a sense of validation and understanding. Sharing experiences and stories can create deep bonds that combat the feeling of being misunderstood or different. Breaking stereotypes and fostering a sense of belonging: Society often perpetuates the idea that sensitivity is synonymous with weakness. However, fellow HSP men can challenge these stereotypes, creating a space where authenticity and vulnerability are celebrated. Support navigating relationships, careers, and personal development: HSP men encounter specific challenges in various aspects of life. Having a supportive community offers guidance and perspectives to help you navigate relationships, excel in your career, and foster personal growth. Likely Groups that Would be Supportive of HSP Men HSP-specific support groups and communities: These groups are tailored to the needs of highly sensitive individuals. They provide a safe space to share experiences, seek advice, and receive validation from others who can relate to your journey. Men's groups focusing on emotional intelligence and personal growth: Joining men's groups prioritizing emotional intelligence and personal development can provide a supportive environment for HSP men. These groups often encourage vulnerability, communication, and self-reflection. Mental health organizations and counseling services: Professional resources such as mental health organizations, therapists, or counselors can offer specialized guidance for highly sensitive individuals. They can help you develop coping strategies, manage overwhelming emotions, and build resilience. Creating and Nurturing HSP Men's Groups in Your Area or Online Identifying the need and gauging interest: Assess the demand for an HSP men's group in your area, or consider starting an online community. Seek feedback from other HSP men to gauge interest and determine the potential for a supportive network. Establishing a safe and inclusive space: Create guidelines that foster respect, empathy, and confidentiality within the group. Ensure that all members feel safe to express themselves without judgment or fear of criticism. Setting goals and objectives for the group: Define the purpose and objectives of the group, such as sharing experiences, providing support, and offering resources. Establishing goals helps maintain focus and direction for the community. Facilitating discussions, activities, and events: Organize regular meetings or online discussions to foster engagement and connection. Plan activities or events that promote personal growth, self-care, and mutual support. Utilizing online platforms and resources for remote participation: Leverage online platforms, social media groups, or forums to connect with HSP men globally. Virtual meetings, webinars, and online resources offer flexibility and accessibility for individuals in different locations. Finding Allies Outside of the Highly Sensitive Community Educating friends, family, and colleagues about HSP traits: Increase awareness and understanding of HSP traits among those closest to you. Openly discussing your sensitivity can lead to greater acceptance and support. Seeking empathetic individuals and supportive networks: Look for individuals who display empathy, compassion, and an understanding of your sensitivity. Building strong relationships with allies outside the HSP community can provide additional support and validation. Collaborating with mental health professionals, therapists, or coaches: Seek professional guidance from mental health professionals, therapists, or coaches knowledgeable about HSP traits. Their expertise can assist you in developing effective coping mechanisms and enhancing your well-being. You Are Not Alone Normalizing the HSP experience: Understand that being a highly sensitive man is a natural and valid part of who you are. Recognize that countless others share similar experiences. Sharing stories of personal growth and resilience: Hear stories of HSP men who have embraced their sensitivity and thrived. Learning from their journeys can provide inspiration and encouragement. Highlighting famous HSP men as role models: Recognize influential figures who have succeeded while embracing their sensitivity. Their stories serve as reminders that sensitivity can be a powerful asset. Celebrating the diversity and strength of the HSP community: Embrace the diversity within the HSP community. Recognize that HSP men come from various backgrounds, professions, and walks of life, proving that sensitivity knows no boundaries. Conclusion Finding and building supportive communities is crucial for highly sensitive men. By addressing challenges, embracing strengths, and seeking fellowship with fellow HSP men, you can cultivate a sense of belonging, navigate life's complexities, and nurture personal growth. Remember, you are not alone on this journey. So take the first steps to seek and create support, knowing a community is waiting to embrace you.  A Blog about Sensory Processing Sensitivity from the Worldview of a High-Sensing Male
Total words: 706, Time to read: 2.58 minutes Introduction Highly sensitive men are often caught in a conundrum of societal pressure to conform to the stereotypical image of masculinity and the need to prioritize their emotional, mental, and physical well-being. Therefore, expressing one's needs, especially as a highly sensitive man, can be daunting. However, communicating one's needs is essential to leading a healthy and fulfilled life. This article will provide some communication tips for highly sensitive men to prioritize their emotional, mental, and physical well-being while still being empathetic to others. Understanding the Importance of Honoring Your Needs Recognizing the difference between needs and wants is essential to communicate effectively. Understanding the difference between the two helps to prioritize needs over wants. Needs are fundamental to survival and well-being. Wants are non-essential desires yet may add to your enjoyment of life. Ignoring one's needs can result in physical, mental, and emotional burnout, which can be detrimental to one's health. The needs of highly sensitive people can often differ from those of individuals less sensitive to environmental changes. Sometimes these HSP needs are often misunderstood by non-HSPs and need to be clarified to be understood. Prioritizing self-care is critical to maintaining good mental and emotional health, and this begins with self-compassion. We, as HSPs, are often told that our "special" needs are unnecessary or may seem frivolous to others. Yet, we know our own needs, and we should act accordingly to service our needs via self-care, making this a priority in our lives. Therefore, as a highly sensitive man, it's crucial to communicate your needs effectively to live a fulfilling life. You cannot assume that others will know your needs unless you share them. Regardless, don't negotiate down your requirements. Instead, show some self-compassion and stand up for your needs. Communication Tips for HSP Men "Focus on Needs, not Approval" -understanding and applying Jacquelyn Strickland's adage and making that a mantra in your life. The key is to focus on your needs and communicate them without seeking approval or validation from others. This is not a selfish demand but rather a way to express your authentic needs to help you thrive.
Examples of Honoring Needs and Empathy
Conclusion Communicating your needs as an HSP man can be challenging, but it is necessary for your emotional, mental, and physical well-being. You can lead a fulfilling life without feeling guilty or selfish by prioritizing your needs and communicating them assertively and respectfully. Remember, self-care and self-compassion are not selfish but necessary for overall well-being. With these communication tips, you can honor your needs and still be empathetic to others.  A Blog about Sensory Processing Sensitivity from the Worldview of a High-Sensing Male
Total words: 1101, Time to read: 4.38 minutes As a highly sensitive man (HSM), navigating social situations can be daunting. It's common for highly sensitive men to feel overwhelmed, anxious, and stressed out in social situations. However, it's important to remember that social skills are essential for success in both personal and professional life. This article will discuss tips for navigating social situations for highly sensitive men. Importance of Navigating Social Situations for Highly Sensitive Men Navigating social situations is crucial for highly sensitive men to build meaningful relationships, advance their careers, and improve their quality of life. Developing social skills can also help highly sensitive men cope with social anxiety and overcome shyness. Personal Social Situations Approaching personal social situations can be challenging for highly sensitive men. Here are some tips for navigating these situations:
Work Social Situations Navigating work social situations can be a challenge for highly sensitive men. Here are some tips for managing work-social situations:
Everyday Social Interactions Managing everyday social interactions can be a problem for highly sensitive men. So here are some tips for managing these interactions:
Ameliorating Overwhelm on the Fly in Social Situations Highly sensitive men may experience overwhelm in social situations. Here are some strategies for managing overwhelm on the spot:
Using High Sensitivity as a Strength in Stressful Social Situations Embracing High Sensitivity Many highly sensitive men view their sensitivity as a liability, something to be overcome or hidden. However, high sensitivity can be a valuable asset in social situations. By embracing your sensitivity and recognizing it as a unique trait, you can learn to use it to your advantage. Recognizing the Benefits of High Sensitivity High sensitivity can offer a unique perspective in social situations. HSPs are often more attuned to the emotions of others and can pick up on subtle social cues that others may miss. This can lead to increased empathy, understanding, and insight into social dynamics. Recognizing these benefits can help you to feel more confident in your social interactions. Finding Your Unique Strengths As a highly sensitive man, you likely have unique strengths that can be leveraged in social situations. Take some time to reflect on your strengths, whether it's your ability to connect with others on a deep level or your attention to detail. By recognizing your strengths, you can find ways to use them to your advantage in social situations. Feeling More Confident and Self-Assured in Social Situations Building Self-Confidence Building self-confidence can be difficult for highly sensitive men who may struggle with self-doubt and insecurities. However, taking small steps to build confidence can make a big difference. Practice positive self-talk, set achievable goals for yourself, and celebrate your successes. Practicing Self-Compassion Self-compassion is the practice of treating yourself with kindness and understanding. This can be especially important for highly sensitive men who may be hard on themselves for not meeting societal expectations or for feeling overwhelmed in social situations. By practicing self-compassion, you can learn to be more accepting of yourself and your sensitivity. Developing a Positive Mindset A positive mindset can help you approach social situations with a more optimistic outlook. Focus on the positive aspects of social interactions, such as the opportunity to connect with others or learn something new. Reframing your mindset can reduce social anxiety and make you feel more self-assured in social situations. Conclusion Recap of Tips for Navigating Social Situations Navigating social situations as a highly sensitive man can be difficult, but it is not impossible. By taking small steps to manage social anxiety, ameliorate overwhelm, and recognize the benefits of high sensitivity, you can learn to feel more confident and self-assured in social situations. Encouragement for Highly Sensitive Men To all the highly sensitive men out there, know that you are not alone. Many men struggle with social anxiety and overwhelm, and it is okay to feel this way. However, by embracing your sensitivity and finding ways to use it to your advantage, you can easily navigate social situations. Final Thoughts and Future Outlook Navigating social situations as a highly sensitive man is an ongoing journey. There will be ups and downs, successes and setbacks. However, with practice and patience, you can learn to manage social anxiety and feel more confident in your interactions with others. Remember to be kind to yourself and celebrate your progress along the way.  A Blog about Sensory Processing Sensitivity from the Worldview of a High-Sensing Male
The "woke" movement, also known as the social justice movement, has been a hotly debated topic in recent years. While it aims to promote awareness and advocacy for social justice issues such as racism, sexism, and other forms of discrimination, critics argue that it restricts freedom of speech and expression and can be divisive and polarizing. However, in today's polarized world, being sensitively aware is crucial in fostering understanding and empathy. Unfortunately, the world is in short supply of this vitally human function. Highly sensitive people have an advantage due to their innate ability to pick up on subtle emotional cues. This article will explore sensitivity awareness and how cultivating it can build better relationships and a more compassionate society. Understanding Sensitivity Awareness Sensitivity awareness is the ability to be in tune with one's emotions and those of others. Highly sensitive people tend to be more empathetic and have a higher emotional IQ than most individuals. Signs of sensitivity awareness include reading body language, tone of voice, and subtle behavioral changes. Therefore, many people lacking this skill should consider raising the bar on their sensitivity awareness to help bridge gaps in understanding with others. HSPs can help educate and model these behaviors. Developing Sensitivity Awareness Learning to be mindful of oneself and others is key to developing this awareness. For example, paying attention to differences in people, such as neurodiversity, cultural differences, and equality issues, can enhance sensitivity to those differences. Likewise, listening and focusing on the needs of others can also help develop sensitive attention. Being aware of the choice of language and nonverbal cues can improve communication. In addition, better relationships and interactions can be fostered by elevating your sensitivity awareness. Developing a sensitive understanding of others can also result in better emotional regulation and reactions to others' differences. Internal and External Awareness Compiling information from within and without or being in tune with one's own emotions and the emotions of others is a critical aspect of this heightened awareness, along with understanding the feelings and thoughts of others and the importance of empathy. In addition, awareness of subtle environmental changes can help and requires paying attention to create necessary environmental awareness. How to Cultivate Sensitivity Awareness Cultivating empathy involves putting oneself in another's shoes and understanding their perspective. Mindfulness, or being present in the moment, can also help develop this comprehension. Active listening, or giving full attention to the speaker, is another crucial aspect, as is reserving judgment or commentary until the person listened to has been fully heard. Challenges to Sensitivity Awareness However, there are challenges to raising sensitive awareness. Societal barriers, such as systemic discrimination or inequalities, can hinder the development of empathy and kindness. In addition, personal obstacles, such as a lack of self-awareness, can be challenging. A lack of self-awareness means that an individual is generally unaware of their impacts and influences on others. Overcoming these barriers requires a willingness to learn and grow and a dedication to becoming more sensitively aware. This is an action-oriented endeavor, even for highly sensitive people. Awareness without action is ineffective. Examples of Sensitivity Awareness In personal relationships, sensitivity awareness can manifest as listening and empathizing with a partner during a difficult time. In professional settings, sensitivity awareness can mean being aware of cultural differences in the workplace and adapting communication styles accordingly. Finally, in society, sensitivity awareness can result in being aware of systemic inequalities and taking action to address them. This is a clarion call for highly sensitive people and those that would listen. In conclusion, sensitivity awareness is critical to fostering understanding and empathy in a polarized world. Individuals can develop sensitivity awareness by practicing mindfulness, compassion, and active listening. In addition, we can build better relationships and a more compassionate society by cultivating this type of understanding. It's time to embrace and model sensitivity awareness to bridge the knowledge gap and create a more harmonious, peaceful, and empathetic world.  A Blog about Sensory Processing Sensitivity from the Worldview of a High-Sensing Male Are you a Sensitive New Age Guy? This was a term that was bandied about a lot when I was a young adult. But, it was a brief flirtation with men's liberation promptly crushed by the Reagan revolution of the 80s. That return to conservative and traditional masculinity still has a hold on us today. The idea that men could be both sensitive and spiritual in an alternative way was just too much for some folks to handle- too soft, too weak, too feminine. But what exactly was the term about? The term "sensitive new age guy" (SNAG) is a colloquial expression often used to describe a man who has progressive views, is emotionally intelligent and empathetic, and is interested in spirituality and personal growth. This stereotype is associated with the New Age movement. It encompasses a range of beliefs and values that challenge traditional gender roles and emphasize emotional intelligence, non-violent communication, and spiritual development. While some people view the "sensitive new age guy" as being too emotionally fragile or insincere, others see sensitivity as a strength and value it in their relationships and communities. This shift in attitudes toward sensitivity and emotional intelligence is part of a broader cultural trend toward rejecting traditional masculinity and embracing a more nuanced and inclusive definition of masculinity. Overall, the "sensitive new age guy" is significant as a representation of changing cultural attitudes towards masculinity and gender roles and reflects the growing interest in spirituality, self-improvement, and emotional intelligence. Whether viewed positively or negatively, the "sensitive new age guy" is an important cultural phenomenon that provides insights into the evolving definition of what it means to be a man in the 21st century. The Origins of the Term The term "sensitive new age guy" can be traced back to the emergence of the New Age movement in the 1970s and 1980s. The New Age movement was a cultural and spiritual movement that embraced various alternative beliefs and practices, including spiritualism, alternative medicine, and environmentalism. As this movement grew, so did the stereotype of the "sensitive new age guy." The term "sensitive new age guy" was popularized to describe men who embraced New Age beliefs and values and were seen as being in touch with their emotions and espousing progressive views. In addition, this stereotype was often associated with men who were interested in spirituality, personal growth, and self-improvement and rejected traditional notions of machismo and aggression. In the decades since the phrase was first popularized, the "sensitive new age guy" has become a cultural phenomenon reflecting changing attitudes towards masculinity and gender roles. The stereotype has been celebrated and criticized, with some people viewing sensitivity as a strength and others seeing it as a sign of emotional fragility or insincerity. However, with the discovery of the temperament trait of sensory processing sensitivity in the mid-90s, sensitivity has gained traction as a normal and positive personality trait regardless of gender. Nevertheless, the "sensitive new age guy" continues to be an important cultural stereotype that provides insights into evolving attitudes towards masculinity and gender roles. Characteristics of a Sensitive New Age Guy The term "sensitive new age guy" (SNAG) is often used to describe a man who has the following characteristics:
The Sensitive New Age Guy (SNAG) stereotype has faced criticism for the following reasons:
Personal Reflections and Conclusions So, are you a SNAG? With the advent of what can only be described as a reborn, fledgling movement promoting men's ability to be sensitive, feeling, empathetic, and nurturing creatures again, can we revive the ideals of the SNAG movement of the 70s and early 80s? As highly sensitive men, can we be the champions of a revival and liberation of sorts to bring humanity back to masculinity? For those who have followed my blog over the years, you must realize that I believe this is our ideal purpose. We, as HSP men, can lead directionally and, by example, a rediscovery and recrafting of masculinity that matches the needs of our times. We are the blueprint and can serve as the model for men to rediscover their authentic selves and partner with females to create a liberation movement that will free both men and women to be in the fullness of the range of the human palette of behaviors, emotions, and capacities. We can lose the old nomenclature but retain the essence of change. The day is arising to create a new masculinity that is not abusive, violent, aggressive, or territorial—instead, replacing these long archaic traits with kindness, empathy, nurturing, and intuition. Characteristics long associated exclusively with the feminine can now be embraced to enhance and edify the masculine. The New Age moniker seems quaint now, but the day of sensitivity and self-awareness is here.  A Blog about Sensory Processing Sensitivity from the Worldview of a High-Sensing Male
Several years back, I remember a call for the government to form a department of peace. What surprised me was that this has occurred throughout the history of the United States, very often due to a recent war or during a military conflict. This movement started as far back as 1793 by Dr. Benjamin Rush, a founding father, and Quaker clergyman. Other notable attempts have been introduced by esteemed congresspeople such as Everett Dirksen (late 40s), Senator Vance Harke (late 60s), Dennis Kucinich in 2001, and most recently, Barbara Lee in 2013. In addition, many celebrities have attached their names to this movement, including Walter Cronkite, Marianne Williamson, Willie Nelson, Yoko Ono, and Joaquin Phoenix. Invariably, these initiatives don’t pass into law, likely because of a strong military-industrial complex lobby and a continuing jingoistic American public. Nevertheless, these attempts to at least study conflict and conflict resolution, teach peaceful negotiation, and learn via science ways to arbitrate disagreements would have great merit in a time where there are implacable schisms in almost every imaginable area – religious, political, social, business and any national discussion. It is frustrating to note that in an age that has produced AI, we don’t have the common sense to navigate our disagreements. The History of Peace Movements To study peace, it might be useful to define what the objective might be. What is peace? You might simply describe peace as a quality of a society, nation, group, or individual operating harmoniously. It could include a lack of hostility, safety and recognition, equality and fairness, and an absence of war or agitated conflict. This is not a static state of bliss but an active state of negotiation, compromise, and mutual respect. Our word peace has roots in the Hebrew Shalom, meaning safety, welfare, prosperity, security, good fortune, and friendliness. Over the years, various attempts in the US to create sustainable peace movements have often failed when presented to the government -even if the idea is wildly popular, as was the case in the early 2000s leading up to American involvement with Iraq, post 911. But then, despite the presence of 10 million marchers, the government was oblivious and marched on to war. Does that make the attempts at a peace movement futile? On the contrary, they serve as a balancing point to militarization and a counterweight to knee-jerk military action. In some ways, they can provide a bargaining chip to ensure some just peace is implemented, albeit post-conflict. Emerson and Thoreau were part of an earlier peace movement spurred by the Mexican-American War. Thoreau even wrote an essay on civil disobedience, which inspired both Tolstoy and Martin Luther King, Jr. Quakers, a religious group where peace is a foundational element to their belief systems, have played important roles in peace movement history in the US. Even the woman who wrote The Battle Hymn of the Republic, Julia Ward Howe, decried the use of war to settle disagreements and the loss of husbands, fathers, and sons to the destruction of war. William James, the father of American psychology, extolled the value of maintaining political unity and civic virtue without war or the threat of war. Yet, none of this was enough. Even with all of the notable figures supporting peace, America entered the twentieth century only to witness the bloodiest century in the history of humanity. Two world wars, countless regional and geo-political conflicts, and no sign that humans had evolved to such an extent as to prevent wars. We Need to Learn How to Do Conflict Resolution So what is missing? If you polled most people around the world, the vast majority would wish for a world where peace was the norm. So why can’t we get there? The desire is there, perhaps, even the will, but how do we do this? I question if there can be a world free of conflict, but at least we can have a world free of war. The solution is to find and promote powerful and effective conflict-resolution tools. What would help is a concerted cross-discipline scientific study on the elements of peace and the art of conflict resolution—evidence-based, practical tools for avoiding escalated conflict and ways to diffuse disputes that lead to war quickly. This will not be a magic formula but will build over time a body of knowledge that can serve as inputs to educational programs for schools, research material for perpetual studies on peace, and encourage something like a peace propaganda movement that extolls the virtues of peace and the sanctity of life. We must train our children and people to find inner peace. This can be done without religious attachments and kept objective with scientific validation. By socializing this ideology of peace first, over time, a generation of children will be taught the finer points of conflict resolution and how to maintain inner peace in the face of stress and distress. This will promote conflict studies, a foundation for propagating peace studies programs throughout universities and think tanks. This effort may take several generations of exposure to take root firmly. A Department of Peace (perhaps named differently) would be the focal point of all government efforts to promote conflict resolution and non-military solutions to conflict. In the interim, we would need to develop programs that would work with military leaders to quickly de-escalate armed conflicts and bring parties to the negotiation table. At some point in the future, even this could be eliminated. Is There Any Hope for This? All of this sounds great, but is it likely to happen? Considering the present conditions, we live in, with the great polarization within humanity, the enormous investment we have in the military, the influence of the military-industrial complex, and the glorification of war in popular media, this seems unlikely. But, unless we take significant steps towards a peaceful world, I fear humanity is in grave danger. Unfortunately, we often forget we are but one nuclear war away from the annihilation of humanity. This must change. We need to understand at a deep level what causes aggression. Is it fear, is it greed, or is it ego-based dynamics? What insecurity drives us to this insanity? How can we prevent conflict if we don’t understand the root of conflict and the subsequent emotional overreaction? We spend trillions of dollars on war, so why not earmark millions to study peace? Part of maintaining peace is finding ways of negotiation that do not produce zero-sum outcomes. Negotiation need not be about one side winning as the other loses. Instead, we have to develop objective negotiation methods that consider all sides. Producing compromised yet fair results mean going the extra mile to keep the peace. We must emphasize cooperation and not always make life a merciless competition. We work better if we cooperate because collaboration is about raising all ships. We need to focus through education and practice-- not just rhetoric, on encouraging a kinder, gentler world. The stakes are too high not to try. And remember, pacifism is not passivity. Resigning to the archaic notion that there are just wars and that they are inevitable is simply a self-fulfilling prophecy. We must reach a point for us to evolve to reject war and the disturbance of the peace. As John Lennon famously sang, “Give peace a chance.” A department of peace would be a good start.
 A Blog about Sensory Processing Sensitivity from the Worldview of a High-Sensing Male
If you've ever lived anywhere in a temperate to tropical climate, you've likely heard the loud mating calls of the insect Cicadidae, more popularly known as Cicadas. These winged insects emerge annually or, in the case of the Magicicada, every thirteen to seventeen years to mate, make a big splash with loud mating calls, and then die. The eggs they produce give way to burying nymphs which become the next generation, waiting patiently underground until the next cycle begins. I mention this locust-like insect not so much because those qualities remind me of HSPs, but rather their predictable emergence from what would seem like a long slumber to return to fulfill an evolutionary purpose. However, the reality is that they never left but were submerged to seem oblivious to the outside world, only to return at the right interval—the right time. Perhaps, this is a stretch, but the Cicada effect, as I'm describing, is when an animate species seemingly asleep reemerges for a short, pointed mission, then blends back into the earth, waiting on the next right time. So, strangely, HSPs could be emerging now, during a time in human history, to perform a needed function. Less obnoxious and less noisy than Cicadas but more important to the evolution of our species. And, although we don't literally fall asleep, we can often seem dormant until we have our cautionary role kicks in. What role do HSPs play? A question that many HSPs ask is, what role do we play for humanity? Dr. Elaine Aron alludes to the idea that nature has created a small part of the human population – us, to provide thoughtful, cautious inputs into decision-making where we perform roles as wise counselors or as a priestly function. Our deep-thinking natures, natural nurturing, and empathetic tendencies make us ideal advisors to the warriors and kings and counselors to the general population. The world is turning at an ever-faster pace, and decisions seem less thoughtful and less insightful by our leaders and decision-makers. There seems to be less effort to think long-term, consider consequences, and not seek parity or equity in decisions. HSPs could make a difference here. But to be recognized, we need to recognize these qualities in ourselves. We need to own our traits and employ them in our interactions with others, especially those in leadership positions. The world could use our insights, especially right now. When HSPs awaken? I see this happening every day. More and more people are emerging to the reality that they are HSPs. There's that Eureka! Moment and then the long pause for, now what? What do I do with this trait? By the latest estimates, there are over two billion HSPs in the world. Although we don't represent a large proportion of the human population, it is not an insignificant number. And even within the HSP population, I don't believe the entire community needs to mobilize. Critical mass could be as simple as a small percentage of HSPs awakening to this purpose. However, as more HSPs become aware of the trait, the greater the possibility for influencing change. And as more and more HSPs "come online," we need to be spreading the message that they also have an evolutionary purpose in addition to their individual life missions. Depending upon the individual, this purpose may be relatively small or large, but the days of apologizing for being highly sensitive are long past. The days of masking the trait are over. We are sensitive for a reason, and now is the time to acknowledge that. This awakening could take a lot of different forms, perhaps, in many ways, unimagined. Maybe, as younger HSPs, those in the millennial or GenZ generations, come to terms with their trait, things will begin to evolve as to correct and proper action. Unlike myself, younger HSPs have a lifetime ahead to assimilate the trait into their lives, which makes a big difference. These younger generations will be "turned on" to this insight earlier in life and can utilize it to organize and affect generational changes. They can and will impact decisions. I see that happening now, not only with HSPs but with those who don't share the trait. The upcoming generations are already aware of needed changes and are savvy enough to demand them. HSPs can and should be in this mix. I do feel the awakening happening. It is a conscious awareness of wrongs done, necessary changes, and plans to be enacted. Yeah, it might also be a spiritual awakening, as many claim, but it is a clarion call to change. Surely underneath, with feet to the ground, the sound of change is coming. And HSPs will be a big part of that. Arising like Cicadas, coming to make some noise in our HSP way.  A Blog about Sensory Processing Sensitivity from the Worldview of a High-Sensing Male
I have often spoken of the evils of hegemonic masculinity. Unfortunately, this corrupted form of masculinity is a real thing. Still, it only describes the results of its leading characteristics: unbridled greed, the willingness to exploit and subjugate the helpless or repressed populations, and the almost obsessive accumulation of wealth and power. Hegemonic masculinity describes the outward manifestation of a disease, the traits, and those most likely to promote its spread, but it doesn't explain the causes or the condition. Indigenous people have a word for this disease – Wetiko or Wendigo. It comes from an Algonquin word meaning a malevolent spirit or creature with an insatiable appetite for greed and self-aggrandizement. It is often associated with cannibalism in indigenous lore—a very fitting descriptor for hegemonic masculinity. It seems a perfect description of the incessant pursuit of wealth and exploitation of resources and people we have witnessed for thousands of years across the planet. Most notably the conquest of the Americas by Europeans. This conquest set the cornerstone for this disease in the New World and cemented into global consciousness that greed was good. Capitalism runs amok. What is Wetiko? Wetiko is more than just a mythological creature or spirit; it now is a fitting description of a psycho-social disease that pervades our planet. It has been likened by Paul Levy, author of Wetiko: Healing the Mind-Virus that Plagues Our World, as a virus of the mind and soul, an appropriate contemporary metaphor for the disease. Levy sees this affliction as a dark aspect of human nature marked by domination, subjugation, and exploitation, much like we see in the description of hegemonic masculinity. But, unlike hegemonic masculinity, Wetiko affects more than just wealthy white men. Instead, it is pervasive across cultures around the planet, a rush to grab all that can be taken and exploited for wealth accumulation by a few. Capitalism as we know it has devolved into a Wetiko-like virus that engulfs the minds of many. Regardless of social standing or wealth, the lure or prospect of wealth obsessively drives common people into self-defeating support of leaders who promote the message of profit over people or the planet. The attachment to power lures them to support this self-destructive behavior, and although they have little hope of gaining wealth and power, they dutifully abdicate their only source of power – their vote. They become, in essence, a willing host to perpetuate the virus. This disease has been with us since the dawn of the agricultural age. When production outpaced need and wealth accumulation began in earnest, many became willing hosts to the virus. The addiction to wealth and power spread, well, like a virus. The Concept of Thought Forms and Memes and Antecedents in Biology The idea of a mind virus isn't farfetched in today's world, where real world viruses ravish human populations and alter behavior patterns. After all, we have computer viruses that mimic the work of biological viruses; why not mind viruses? The concept has its roots in ancient religion from Buddhism, Taoism, and Sufism; the ideas of thought forms that stand on their own in physical reality and the idea of shared collective consciousness, along with the interconnectedness of all things, makes a fertile ground for this notion to root. In a more contemporary framework, the Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung describes the collective unconscious as a repository of shared memories and archetypes. It is not much of a stretch to envision mind viruses, like memes, embedded into our consciousness via modern communication supporting themselves off the host and perpetuating across the species as a collective truth, regardless of any objective reality. Like Wetiko, it spreads from host to host, possessing the infected soul with a drive or obsession for greed and a cannibalistic view of all material around the host as something to be consumed. It's gluttony and greed that aids in perpetuating the virus, much at the expense of the unwitting host. The most obvious analogy is to cancer, programmed to proliferate, gobbling up all living matter and eventually killing the host. Ironically, as it takes the host, it produces a coldness within the victim's heart, where heartlessness encourages the desire for more. The Prime Directive for all DNA-based life forms is always to replicate and reproduce. The disease, modern Capitalism, is only satiated when it creates more capital at whatever cost to the environment, people, or the future. In its severe corruption, which is to maximize wealth and self-interest, there is an inherent belief that there is some invisible hand called the marketplace that will keep things in balance, as each participant is blindly pursuing their self-interest. This is the great deception, the veil that hides the virtual protein spike of the virus. Can we defeat the Wetiko? Because of the insidious nature of the mind virus and how cleverly it blinds the victim to its presence, the only antidote is conscious self-awareness. Carl Jung warned of a massive self-delusion turning our powerful creative capacity into self-destruction of the species. At a worldwide scale, the infection is massive. Despite continuous warnings from nature and the "prophets," the world seems to be marching headlong into an extinction event. What other explanation would explain the lemming-like way we are destroying our planet and ourselves through pollution, war, and massive economic inequality? It is a form of collective madness that, if we don't snap out of it soon, we have a dark future ahead, if we have one at all. We need, as HSPs and as humans, to promote the conscious self-awareness mentioned above. I'm not saying that HSPs are different or have special protection against Wetiko. Still, I do believe we share an empathetic awareness of what is happening in the world today. We could be the leaders or at least the messengers or catalysts to create awareness before it's too late. Write, protest, organize, get active and educate yourself and others. Unfortunately, there is only so much time.  A Blog about Sensory Processing Sensitivity from the Worldview of a High Sensing Male
Have you ever asked yourself, what is good enough? Anytime you start a task, what level of achievement do you expect? Do you have a benchmark for good enough? Is the amount of effort that matters to you, or is it the outcome? Is success an absolute for you? Many HSPs are hung up on perfectionism. At times, I can be fanatical about achieving a goal or completing a task and being perfect. Unfortunately, there are many reasons why this is the case for some of us – from people pleasing, low self-esteem, or simply a programmed obsession with being perfect. There appears to be a misguided notion that anything worth doing is worth doing perfectly, and if you’re not going to do it perfectly – why do it? But is perfection even possible? Isn’t this an impossible belief, a form of absolutism? A striving for excellence can only mean surpassing mere good enough or even your best effort to attain absolute perfection. It is a lofty aspiration. What can we say about the belief that there is a universal truth that only perfection is acceptable? First, let’s look at this a bit closer. Striving for Excellence As a primary mission, there is no fault in striving for excellence in any task or endeavor. Setting a goal and striving to achieve that goal, in my opinion, is a noble goal. But, like many life journeys, the road is full of potholes and detours. Our original goal need not be rigid, with one path, but should reflect and adjust to the many deviations that life throws us. In fact, rigidity is the enemy of perfection. Perfectionism is a corruption of excellence in that it embraces rigidity and makes the goal almost unachievable. Rather than striving for excellence, we offer our best effort to any task, expecting alterations and changes in the route. This allows for a level of tolerance that is not perfect but still allows a completion close enough to our original goal that rewards our best effort. Striving for excellence is how we perform our tasks. Making corrections and improvements along the way, like guided missiles, we ultimately make subtle, sometimes drastic changes to reach our destination. This proposition requires the appreciation and adoption of good enough at times. Not much of a severe compromise if it gets us to our goal. The Perils of Perfectionism Perfectionism is like a disease that eats away at any effort and requires an impossible and absolute execution far exceeding normal human capabilities. The fear of perfectionism, or the withdrawal from an attempt due to anxiety that a task will not be executed perfectly, often keeps us from trying challenging tasks. Moreover, because of an absolutist expectation of perfection, we prejudge ourselves out of competition for fear that we can reach the elusive, not impossible, prize. Perfectionism can serve as a convenient excuse not to like ourselves. For inherently, we all know that we are not perfect. And, failing to attain perfection, we reinforce an unrealistic notion that we are not good enough. Perhaps, it comes through us as an attempt to please others, i.e., “if I am perfect, people will love me.” What a lousy bargaining chip for garnering love and acceptance. The stress on the self to achieve an uncommon perfection level can be debilitating for some. There is no room for ‘good enough’ in their lexicon. Yet, what is good enough? The Ideal Quest for Enough First, we must eliminate the idealization of perfection and toss the idea that we can be perfect in all we do. The good enough mentality sometimes is the only way to accomplish a goal. This especially is true for first-time efforts and trying out new, unproven tasks. Accomplishments come easy to some, more difficult for others. Secondly, find where the task or goal fits your values and priorities. Then, measure your success against those values and nothing else. Perhaps, just getting the job done is achievement enough. That’s what we call good enough. Thirdly, don’t sell good enough down the drain as a mediocre or lackluster performance or, as they say, an “also ran” effort. Sometimes good enough is GOOD ENOUGH—everything we do need not be a record-breaking world performance. Often what we see as perfection is an undetected series of good enough efforts to craft a fine point on something that is merely good enough. In effect, the polish on the silverware makes something ordinary look sparkly and perfect. Lastly, we must learn to accept that we are not perfect in everything we do. Therefore, we give the goal and task our best efforts, fueled by passion and values rather than driven by some abstraction of idealized perfectionism. A Happy Medium Don’t get me wrong; I think striving for excellence is a good goal. It lifts our work from simply passable to something more indicative of our skill sets and talents. However, we should always do our best for nothing more than our personal integrity. But, let go of absolutism. There is likely no absolute truth, wisdom, perfection, or knowledge that is not subject to criticism or improvement. For the most part, I think life is a series of successive approximations of truth. We are constantly correcting, allowing us to flow with the changes. Rigidity is the great destroyer of life. Perfectionism is a formulaic rigidity that stifles and is anti-growth. Finding your “good enough” is about seeking a comfortable level of truth about your abilities, skills, etc., and how they can be used in the world. Letting perfectionism inhibit your willingness to fail and learn is a recipe for a frustrated and stilted life. Good enough is not necessarily about resignation but agreement within yourself that you have worked something long enough and it’s time (good enough) to let it go into the world. As an author, I have tried to write, rewrite and restructure books, written pieces, and articles to get them to their best. Then at some point, I let it go and release it as it is, knowing that it is not perfect. However, I have found that most people are not looking to read perfection but will be happy with a good enough read that has meaning and significance to them. So, look for your good enough. Sometimes it’s a feeling, sometimes an objective optic that tells you that you have arrived at your place of completion. Don’t let perfectionism stop you, and recognize that you are good enough, just as you are. Rest in that. Please comment with your thoughts. |
AuthorBill Allen currently lives in Lutz, Florida. He previously lived in Bend, Oregon. He is a certified hypnotist and brain training coach at BrainPilots.com. He believes that male sensitivity is not so rare, but it can be confounding for most males living in a culture of masculine insensitivity which teaches boys and men to disconnect from their feelings and emotions. His intent is to use this blog to chronicle his personal journey and share with others. 
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