 A Blog about Sensory Processing Sensitivity from the Worldview of a High Sensing Male
In previous blogs, I have repeatedly stated that I think we often get too hung up on qualities surrounding gender, what is masculine and feminine. Instead, let us emphasize the importance of being human first. Being human first supersedes the gender designations culture applies to us and allows us to be more flexible and expansive in how we allow ourselves to be defined. The Zulu of Africa have a concept related to humanness called Ubuntu. Ubuntu is a term meaning humanity, roughly translated as “I am because you are.” It is a definition of personhood as reflected by others. An ideal that shares a collective humanity in recognizing the individuality and uniqueness of others as part of a universal community. Being human is being you, and being you is being part of everyone else. This is so important today because we have fallen prey to a collective aspiration of self-centered culture. The media and social media see ego-centric individualism as heroic and noble. Moreover, the age-old concept of hegemonic masculinity, which places the individual, largely men, but women, too - in a place of domination has largely created the state of the world we see. The exploitation of others, exploitation of the planet, and unbridled greed have led us to a near brink of destruction. Today, it is more important than ever to see the world as a collective, a place where we all depend on each other, and our survival depends on the survival of the species. We need now more than ever a form of reciprocal altruism to be our defining goal. Reciprocal altruism is a biological concept that offers that an individual will act in a way that temporarily reduces its fitness while increasing another organism’s fitness, hoping that the favor will be returned at some point. I don’t see the wrong in a conscious act that benefits you if you also benefit another. Indeed, it is an act of enlightened self-interest, that which promotes you promotes me. A lofty goal, to say the least. How do we put the brakes on our current situation and start focusing on our collective self-interest? I think it begins by emphasizing the humanity in all of us. That we as individuals are human first and the other labels, we attach to ourselves become secondary. That one link that connects us to all humanity is our humanness. What does it mean to be human? Being human first and foremost, can be a virtue. It embodies human love and compassion towards our fellows and the planet as a whole. It arises from recognizing our uniqueness as a stand-alone human and the necessity of needing the other members of our species as a prerequisite to survival. The importance of largely human strengths of love, kindness, and social intelligence adds to our humanity. We have often abandoned these attributes in favor of hate, greed, and exploitation for personal reward. Being human can also be expressed on an individual level, towards ourselves as well as to others. By embracing the universal human qualities encapsulated as masculine and feminine, we individually can balance and employ the traits that we all possess as humans. On a cultural and societal level, we can express our humanity as a collective hive expression. What we prioritize and what we fund is what we are. There has always been an age-old debate of what being a human means. Philosophy often mires the discussion with intellectualism. They are offering hopeless arguments with little real-world application. Can we globally define humanity – simple and elegant and easily grasped by everyone? More than just a moral or philosophical definition but is fully able to express what humans can do. Balance is key, striving towards the best traits and managing the negative ones. We are upholding our positive attributes: our ability to communicate complex and abstract thought with language, using our bigger brains imaginatively to create change for good; our ability to express our essence via art, music, and the written word, our ability to show proactive kindness, the ability to understand each other and the ability to link our minds in unparalleled ways. We can distinguish ourselves from others and yet recognize the other as our own. We embrace spiritual concepts that transcend our physical reality. But the most important feature maybe this idea of Ubuntu. Why not try to be human first. What would happen if we embraced our humanness in ways that were complimentary to each other and ourselves? How might this change us as individuals and societally? Could we learn to move past tribalism and individualism and become more humane to ourselves, our fellow humans, and the world we are a part of? We start by raising our children to embrace their humanity first by showing them the common connections between themselves and all humans. Quit assuming divisive labels that sequester groups as good or bad. We first recognize that we are a constellation of many stars, each unique and worthy of our own light and part of the greater galaxy and universe of collective potential. We must understand that the human genome can include all of us and yet express itself in a seemingly infinite number of ways. We teach this to our children young, and then they grow up respecting themselves and others. Embrace the individual and support the collective. Herein lies the balance. Why gender definitions may aid in this transition. For too long, the dominant gender expression has been that of hegemonic masculinity. The exploitative form of masculinity that subordinates women, children, people of different races, non-heterosexual men, or less aggressive men promotes the idea of domination and aggressive and violent behavior to others who do not measure up to this definition of manhood. As Francesca Maria Morettini states, “Hegemonic masculinity, therefore, produces far-reaching effects on society, harming social equality and human development.”. Furthermore, she continues, “hegemonic masculinity affects international relations, domestic politics, military practices, education and sport; corporate governance and the emergence of transnational business masculinities…”. Gender roles are generally defined by the culture we are raised in. However, gender identity is a much more complex process involving genetics, hormonal influences, gene regulation in brain cells, and societal factors such as family and culture. There is pressure to conform to societal norms. The idea of being human first is to not norm gender to a preconceived standard but to eschew cultural gender identity to allow the individual to find their spot along a continuum of being human. This is not to say we discontinue being male or female. Rather, it means this becomes secondary to becoming human first, identifying with the individual’s humanity, which can be expressed in many ways. I believe the LGBQT+ community is leading the idea of gender fluidity and non-binary gender ids. If we embrace the idea that we are all human, as many indigenous people have, we allow ourselves to be fully human first. Conclusion The earth is not self-destructing. It is humans that are destroying humans and the habitat that we survive in. We HSPs are, in my opinion, being called to help warn and instruct on this self-destructive pattern that we humans have been taking. I believe it can be done, but it is not a task for the faint-hearted. It is an intergenerational task, one that will take many years. We can start by keeping things simple yet broadly defining the tasks ahead. One of the major tasks is the notion of creating Ubuntu in the world. Without it, I am afraid we will continue down a path that we won’t escape, nor will our children or our grandchildren and beyond. It requires vision, insight, and empathy: compassionate human intuition and thoughtful logic. Convincing the world will be difficult, but it starts as always at the individual level. Changing our view of our humanness is essential. We must be human first. Remember Ubuntu. Peace. Please share your thoughts in the comment section.
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 A Blog about Sensory Processing Sensitivity from the Worldview of a High Sensing Male
Others may see downtime for HSPs as Idleness, laziness, or inactivity for no purpose. But is that true? Do we HSPs often fight our need for rest because of cultural norms? Can we model purposeful rest and rejuvenation for health for others? We are slaves to a culture of doing. Our Puritan work ethic praises the incessant devotion to work activity and "always-on" engagement to fight the devil's idleness workshop. We have been bombarded throughout history with the virtue of combating sloth. From literature to religious admonishment to capitalist concepts of self-worth via work accomplishment, we are chided never to rest, always striving to be productive. Dante's Divine Comedy slams lazy and idle people and places them on the fourth level of purgatory. Even one of my childhood favorites, Daniel Defoe's Robinson Crusoe, sets a man in an island paradise only to find him endlessly toiling away to improve his situation. Human beings are not designed to be working 24/7 365. Our natural rhythms require that we rest and process both physical and mental inputs. Our need for sleep and rest is baked into our physical makeup. Downtime gives our brains the respite it needs to replenish our attention. The reflective time is used to rejuvenate our identity, fire up the DMN (default mode network), and spawn life-altering epiphanies from unconscious mental downtime. Having worked for years in Information Technology, I learned that the expectation from management was that we mimic the incessant work virtue of the machines we managed. This unrealistic expectation has been birthed from the attention economy that demands our focus always and is in its own way a revival of the ancient and archaic notions of God's punishment for original sin. The health consequences of lack of rest are high stress, inadequate sleep, and full-on engagement has begotten a myriad of illness and disease. We are killing ourselves over this capitalist-driven obsession with doing. Be active, be productive, be valuable. We forget that most religions of the world have origins in the ancient knowledge of being vs. doing. It is the modern world that has driven us astray. Idleness and HSPs So how does this affect HSPs? We have the same programming that all humans have for rest and relaxation with one key distinction. We can't ignore our internal clocks for rest. We are compelled inherently and by environmental factors to take downtime to function properly. Or we suffer immediate critical overwhelm and overstimulation. Our brains are wired differently. Some of the areas within our brains used to modulate or moderate overstimulation have weaker connections. This could be one of the main reasons we suffer from overwhelm. And, our need for rest is not a bad thing. Research suggests that engaging in pleasurable activities not related to goals leads to more happiness in life. Idleness, as it has been referred to, is actually a virtue for HSPs. We have no choice. Overworking, overstimulation, or overwhelm, however, you phrase it, shuts us down. Many may see this as a weakness, but we are like the canary in the coal mine. A toxic environment full of overwork, stress, and lack of rest, will eventually fail for all humans. Therefore, I believe that HSPs can provide a working model for everyone on handling, dealing, and defeating overwork. Moments of quiet reflection and contemplation have been lauded by the ancients and indigenous peoples around the world. However, the modern world looks down on reflective rest as not contributing to the bottom line and not delivering on productivity. Oddly, sleep studies of indigenous people show that their sleep patterns are more in sync with their modern counterparts and not dusk to dawn, we assume. Yet, sleep is not the same as rest. Rest can occur without sleep, and this, I believe, is the missing element in our modern world. Without proper rest, HSPs shut down. Nature has designed HSPs as models for humanity on what enough work/stress looks like in the extreme. Granted, our highly sensing natures may make us seem unable to cope with modern stress, but when you are designed to be the warning system, it is better to blow the whistle earlier than later when it becomes too late to repair. Ways to execute on Idleness
While we are at it, is it time to redefine what work is? The employer, not the employee, has always defined labor. We need to get back to the idea of letting this be a cooperative process a return to the labor movement. This strategy does not have to be combative. There should be shared goals reached by incorporating each side's stated goals with the company's overarching goal. Larger than that, we need to define this at a global level, a societal level. What boundaries exist or need to be determined between work and rest, stress and relaxation, stimulation and overwhelm. Let's reframe rest/idleness to equate with how we feel about nourishment, recreation, vacation, and balance these with the right livelihood, productivity, and work/life balance. Conclusion The health consequences of not resting are monumental. Ancient cultures did not fall apart if time was taken for feasts, rests, and relaxation. Look at the animal kingdom; aside from short life-spanned creatures that must struggle from birth to death, higher-order animals find time to rest and digest and, as humans, have the luxury of relaxing and reflecting. Our larger, more active brains need the rest. Since we know from research that our brains are never off, we must allow ourselves to rest from stress and from constant conscious engagement "doing" stressful activities. The virtue of Idleness is life, peace, and, when correctly done, happiness. We wrongly equate "always on" culture to moving society forward. But what kind of a world does it produce? Advanced, yet toxic? Is that what we want? I know HSPs don't want that. Why? Because we are the canaries. Please share your thoughts in the comment section.  A Blog about Sensory Processing Sensitivity from the Worldview of a High Sensing Male
HSP’s experience deep thoughts and deep emotions that sometimes are difficult to express in common language. Because we sense the subtle nuances in our environments, there is often a problem of not having the right nomenclature to express these thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Since language is our primary means of expressing these memes, HSPs being the creative souls that they are, find novel ways to use language for describing the difficult. It is part of our creativity that we would find ways to express ourselves with literary tools (figures of speech) such as similes and metaphors associating two or more things that are not normally related but could, by comparison, be similar. Likewise, HSPs can use poetic language to deliver nuanced information about complex concepts – a way of deciphering meaning to our complex world. Let’s look at a few of these devices. Similes Similes are figures of speech used to compare items using comparison words such as: like, as, so, or than. The comparisons made with similes are usually a more direct comparison and are often used much like personification (attributing human characteristics to animals or things). For example, “the fox was as crafty as a village thief.” The use of this figure of speech is straightforward, direct, and easy to follow. Similes are often used in literature and comedy, where a direct comparison may make more sense. It might be easier to use a simile in everyday speech than an elaborate or flowery metaphor to make a point. HSPs make use of this device to convey an object comparison more than deep meaning emotion. Metaphors Metaphors are used for rhetorical effect comparing things directly as well, but may provide additional clarification and subtle information at a secondary level. The word metaphor comes from Greek, meaning to transfer or carry over. That would imply meaning is passed over from target to source. from one object to the other. Sonja K. Foss describes metaphors as “nonliteral comparisons in which a word or phrase from one domain of experience is applied to another domain.” Metaphors require more work and can be deep and beautiful or hard, simple, and clean. Metaphors can contain more emotional content, which would include the nuanced world of information HSPs sense. It adds depth and dimension to idea exchange and added strength to this business of conceptual comparison. Often there is implied meaning beneath the metaphor, much like a layered cake, each layer adding definition related to the whole but able to stand alone if needed (by the way, that was a simile). For example, if someone was described – stormy and cold, that could mean that perhaps they are moody or destructive or unfeeling. Thus, the description carries a depth of meaning, which we might associate with a thing such as a storm. In many ways, that depth can be interpreted slightly differently by the individual sharing the information and the individual receiving the information. This is what makes using metaphors so much fun in writing. The metaphor eases the description of the target by moving something abstract towards something more concrete. So, for example, something that is conceptual can be described in everyday terms, which are easily grasped to help explain the more challenging concept. I enjoy a well-written metaphor. They delight the imagination and will resonate with me when I read them, as I am sure many HSPs do as well. Other literary devices: Alliteration The repeating sounds of alliteration are sensorily soothing and, although not commonly used as much anymore, would instill a meditative feel to a written piece. Thus, it is often used in poetry, rhyme, and lyrics. Alliteration is the conspicuous repetition of consonant sounds in closely placed syllables. For example, most famously, in the nursery rhyme, “Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers….” It may seem trite now, but if done well has a lyrical quality to it and has a consonant resonance. Hyperbole Hyperbole is a device used to exaggerate an idea or concept. It is often used to exaggerate a grievance (“your snoring is killing me”) because it is typically so emotionally fueled. When used in comedy or satire, it is never to be taken seriously but realizing that it is an outlandish expression, it blows something out of proportion for emphasis. It is often used in advertising, poetry, and literature. We use this so often in everyday speech that we are almost unconscious of its use. HSPs may use this to express a complaint by using an over-the-top expression to convey frustration. Euphemism A euphemism is a replacement word or expression. It typically replaces an offensive or potentially offensive word or phrase with something more innocuous. It’s cleaned up language to mask often words that are considered vulgar or not to be used in polite company. Perhaps the king of the swear words is fuck, often converted to freak, frig, frick, fudge, eff, or f-word. Euphemism can be used as understatement, substitution, metaphor, or slang. Wherever the language police congregate, you will find euphemism. Because HSPs are generally more empathetic to the sensibilities of others, we often make use of this technique to keep a conversation palatable. Onomatopoeia Onomatopoeia is an odd-sounding word for a device used to create a word to describe the sound phonetically that something makes or to resemble that sound. We often use this when describing animal sounds or loud noises, i.e., moo, cluck, meow, bang, boom, etc. This figure of speech is used most commonly with children’s books, in comics, cartoons, and advertising. It’s great for kids, which they find fun, but generally used sparingly. It’s great to match sound with meaning, with a word. Parody Although not technically a figure of speech, I like using parody to lampoon something or characterize something that, although serious, can be made fun of with satire or spoofing. In written form, it has ancient roots, going back to the Greeks, but this device can be found in music, film, and poetry. This is the great friend of those who either secretly admire something or find humor in mocking something. Some of the great parodies in film are those films by Mel Brooks or Monty Python. In music, I’m thinking of Weird Al Yankovic. When I was sixteen in Chemistry class way back yonder, I wrote a parody of Alexander Pope’s Rape of the Lock, called Ode to a Commode. It was written in the same style, different topic, but it was essentially a parody of a parody. “Oh, thou unheralded porcelain chair, nestled there in tiled lair….” I thought it was clever, but it is now lost forever. It is a lazy writer’s device but may be the sincerest form of flattery in many ways. It does take some creativity to execute. Maybe the HSP sense of subtlety helps here. Pun Puns are great word puzzles that intelligent people like to play with groanable results. The greater the groan, the greater the achievement. It is wordplay that exploits and teases out the multiplicity of meaning that words often have and creates a humorous side effect. They are derived in multiple ways, by using homophonic words (similar sound different meanings) within a phrase, homographic words (words that are spelled the same but have different meanings), or homonymic (words that share the same spelling and sound). The fun never stops as clever stylists mix and match and dig for the best or worst puns. George Carlin was a master at this, and on the visual side, so was Gary Larsen of the Far Side comics. These devices are all interesting in their own right (write- pun?), make language colorful, and aid in communicating nuanced and emotional language. They are not just for writing but are useful in everyday speech. What type of mind is required to excel with these devices? I believe an observant mind, thoughtful and deep, one that can associate word meanings with feelings and emotions. A mind that can draw on memory to help create these word associations. A mind like HSPs possess. What type of other literary devices do you use or believe would be commonly used by HSPs to describe their world? Please share your thoughts in the comment section. |
AuthorBill Allen currently lives in Bend, Oregon. He is a certified hypnotist and brain training coach , author and advocate for HSP Men. He believes that male sensitivity is not so rare, but it can be confounding for most males living in a culture of masculine insensitivity which teaches boys and men to disconnect from their feelings and emotions. His intent is to use this blog to chronicle his personal journey and share with others. 
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