 A Blog about Sensory Processing Sensitivity from the Worldview of a High Sensing Male
HSP’s experience deep thoughts and deep emotions that sometimes are difficult to express in common language. Because we sense the subtle nuances in our environments, there is often a problem of not having the right nomenclature to express these thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Since language is our primary means of expressing these memes, HSPs being the creative souls that they are, find novel ways to use language for describing the difficult. It is part of our creativity that we would find ways to express ourselves with literary tools (figures of speech) such as similes and metaphors associating two or more things that are not normally related but could, by comparison, be similar. Likewise, HSPs can use poetic language to deliver nuanced information about complex concepts – a way of deciphering meaning to our complex world. Let’s look at a few of these devices. Similes Similes are figures of speech used to compare items using comparison words such as: like, as, so, or than. The comparisons made with similes are usually a more direct comparison and are often used much like personification (attributing human characteristics to animals or things). For example, “the fox was as crafty as a village thief.” The use of this figure of speech is straightforward, direct, and easy to follow. Similes are often used in literature and comedy, where a direct comparison may make more sense. It might be easier to use a simile in everyday speech than an elaborate or flowery metaphor to make a point. HSPs make use of this device to convey an object comparison more than deep meaning emotion. Metaphors Metaphors are used for rhetorical effect comparing things directly as well, but may provide additional clarification and subtle information at a secondary level. The word metaphor comes from Greek, meaning to transfer or carry over. That would imply meaning is passed over from target to source. from one object to the other. Sonja K. Foss describes metaphors as “nonliteral comparisons in which a word or phrase from one domain of experience is applied to another domain.” Metaphors require more work and can be deep and beautiful or hard, simple, and clean. Metaphors can contain more emotional content, which would include the nuanced world of information HSPs sense. It adds depth and dimension to idea exchange and added strength to this business of conceptual comparison. Often there is implied meaning beneath the metaphor, much like a layered cake, each layer adding definition related to the whole but able to stand alone if needed (by the way, that was a simile). For example, if someone was described – stormy and cold, that could mean that perhaps they are moody or destructive or unfeeling. Thus, the description carries a depth of meaning, which we might associate with a thing such as a storm. In many ways, that depth can be interpreted slightly differently by the individual sharing the information and the individual receiving the information. This is what makes using metaphors so much fun in writing. The metaphor eases the description of the target by moving something abstract towards something more concrete. So, for example, something that is conceptual can be described in everyday terms, which are easily grasped to help explain the more challenging concept. I enjoy a well-written metaphor. They delight the imagination and will resonate with me when I read them, as I am sure many HSPs do as well. Other literary devices: Alliteration The repeating sounds of alliteration are sensorily soothing and, although not commonly used as much anymore, would instill a meditative feel to a written piece. Thus, it is often used in poetry, rhyme, and lyrics. Alliteration is the conspicuous repetition of consonant sounds in closely placed syllables. For example, most famously, in the nursery rhyme, “Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers….” It may seem trite now, but if done well has a lyrical quality to it and has a consonant resonance. Hyperbole Hyperbole is a device used to exaggerate an idea or concept. It is often used to exaggerate a grievance (“your snoring is killing me”) because it is typically so emotionally fueled. When used in comedy or satire, it is never to be taken seriously but realizing that it is an outlandish expression, it blows something out of proportion for emphasis. It is often used in advertising, poetry, and literature. We use this so often in everyday speech that we are almost unconscious of its use. HSPs may use this to express a complaint by using an over-the-top expression to convey frustration. Euphemism A euphemism is a replacement word or expression. It typically replaces an offensive or potentially offensive word or phrase with something more innocuous. It’s cleaned up language to mask often words that are considered vulgar or not to be used in polite company. Perhaps the king of the swear words is fuck, often converted to freak, frig, frick, fudge, eff, or f-word. Euphemism can be used as understatement, substitution, metaphor, or slang. Wherever the language police congregate, you will find euphemism. Because HSPs are generally more empathetic to the sensibilities of others, we often make use of this technique to keep a conversation palatable. Onomatopoeia Onomatopoeia is an odd-sounding word for a device used to create a word to describe the sound phonetically that something makes or to resemble that sound. We often use this when describing animal sounds or loud noises, i.e., moo, cluck, meow, bang, boom, etc. This figure of speech is used most commonly with children’s books, in comics, cartoons, and advertising. It’s great for kids, which they find fun, but generally used sparingly. It’s great to match sound with meaning, with a word. Parody Although not technically a figure of speech, I like using parody to lampoon something or characterize something that, although serious, can be made fun of with satire or spoofing. In written form, it has ancient roots, going back to the Greeks, but this device can be found in music, film, and poetry. This is the great friend of those who either secretly admire something or find humor in mocking something. Some of the great parodies in film are those films by Mel Brooks or Monty Python. In music, I’m thinking of Weird Al Yankovic. When I was sixteen in Chemistry class way back yonder, I wrote a parody of Alexander Pope’s Rape of the Lock, called Ode to a Commode. It was written in the same style, different topic, but it was essentially a parody of a parody. “Oh, thou unheralded porcelain chair, nestled there in tiled lair….” I thought it was clever, but it is now lost forever. It is a lazy writer’s device but may be the sincerest form of flattery in many ways. It does take some creativity to execute. Maybe the HSP sense of subtlety helps here. Pun Puns are great word puzzles that intelligent people like to play with groanable results. The greater the groan, the greater the achievement. It is wordplay that exploits and teases out the multiplicity of meaning that words often have and creates a humorous side effect. They are derived in multiple ways, by using homophonic words (similar sound different meanings) within a phrase, homographic words (words that are spelled the same but have different meanings), or homonymic (words that share the same spelling and sound). The fun never stops as clever stylists mix and match and dig for the best or worst puns. George Carlin was a master at this, and on the visual side, so was Gary Larsen of the Far Side comics. These devices are all interesting in their own right (write- pun?), make language colorful, and aid in communicating nuanced and emotional language. They are not just for writing but are useful in everyday speech. What type of mind is required to excel with these devices? I believe an observant mind, thoughtful and deep, one that can associate word meanings with feelings and emotions. A mind that can draw on memory to help create these word associations. A mind like HSPs possess. What type of other literary devices do you use or believe would be commonly used by HSPs to describe their world? Please share your thoughts in the comment section.
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 A Blog about Sensory Processing Sensitivity from the Worldview of a High Sensing Male There has been a lot written about raising HSP children. Because they are more sensitive to criticism, the environment, and boundaries, what overarching principle should be in place to raise them? Under the right circumstances and environment, HSP children can thrive. In fact, under the right conditions, they outperform their peers in school, have lofty moral attitudes, have greater social competency, better self-regulation, and greater confidence and security. In my years of having my own business, BrainPilots, a neurofeedback and hypnosis coaching practice, the use of a particular type of neurofeedback system provides an interesting adjunct model to use on HSP children. It is a push/pull methodology. The tool, Neuroptimal™, uses EEG sensors to monitor the brainwaves of the individual's training, then pushes back feedback when the optimal learning opportunity occurs. Then it repeats and allows the client's brain to capture the anomaly in the brain and make its own correction. The assumption is that the individual's brain will autocorrect for the highest function in its own time and method. No guessing when to push instructions; just watch and feedback. It's an automated loop, and it works. Would this make a good method for raising HSP children? Let's see. Best practices for raising highly sensitive children. With the consequences so high in raising SPS children, what are some of the suggested best practices for raising HSP kids? First, we must acknowledge that raising a highly sensitive child is often challenging and can energetically be draining for the parent. This is a two-parent/partner project. Dr. Ted Zeff, In his book on raising highly sensitive boys (and this equally applies to HSP girls) that it important for men to be involved in raising HSP boys. Considering today, we have more same-sex couples, involving a trusted family member or friend of the opposite sex would be helpful for the HSP child to spell the primary parents if needed. It is important to not put the HSP child into situations where they can be humiliated or extremely uncomfortable, yet gently challenge them to learn by experience. Gentle discipline is very important in raising HSP children. Unfortunately, HSP children often internalize harsh criticism, and much can be achieved by explaining the discipline and toning down the emotion while disciplining an HSP child. Being aware of the environmentals for HSP children is key to understanding perplexing reactions from them. Loud, noisy, crowds, or environments where sensory overload is pronounced can affect the HSP child's behavior. Always remember that HSPs need alone time to recharge, revitalize and regroup. HSPs are perhaps the most environmentally sensitive of all humans. The proper setting is important for raising an HSP child. Just remember, HSP children are not all the same. Some are easier than others to raise, primarily because of the wide blending of personality traits that are shared with the HSP personality. Treat each child as an individual and learn who and what they are – more on that shortly. Perhaps the most important goal of raising a child is to develop a strong, confident self-image that will allow them to be who they are and enable them to live an authentic life, regardless of the challenges or obstacles. For HSPs, this can be a slippery slope. It all begins with acceptance. Help them to embrace the trait, however difficult that may be at times. By providing routines, calming respites from overload, emotional validation, guided self-exploration, and a celebration of their uniqueness, you will be providing a sound foundation for growth into adulthood. Studies have shown over and over that HSPs raised in a validating environment produce exceptional individuals. The converse environment has an especially egregious impact on emotional and behavioral development. Again, the environment is everything to HSPs. My model based on neurofeedback To add another layer to the above-mentioned HSP child-rearing methods outlined, I would like to add another suggestion for raising HSP children. This idea is based on my experiences working with clients in a neurofeedback or brain training environment. The model is based on how the neurofeedback loop works with Neuroptimal™ brain training. It is essentially a push/pull method, where the child tells the parent by their behavior and examples of what they are naturally drawn to, what to encourage in the child's development. This is the beginning of the feedback loop from the child to the parent. The parent must remain objective about the feedback, understanding that the child's developing personality sets foundational interests that should be encouraged. The child will also feedback the limits in which they can tolerate exposure to the new interests and reactions to the challenges. The parent then listens, observes the child, and provides guidance and necessary boundaries to provide a sense of safety and security. That is the push part of the model. The push is the continuation of the feedback loop. The child, receiving the feedback, recalibrates and adjusts, and provides more observational feedback to the parents. This is the pull part of the loop. The parents again listen, incorporates the aggregate feedback, and sends back guidance and boundaries. It is a continual dialogue between the child and the parent. The parent does not dictate to the child preset expectations but guides as the child explore their environment and the world. As with the aforementioned neurofeedback, the loop from parent to child is about awakening the child to the moment for best learning. The child, especially the HSP child, is not alone in navigating the world but is purposefully guided by an aware and present parent. This is a simple feedback loop but requires the following:
What does this mean to parents of HSP children? It means that as parents, we must acknowledge that we are dealing with a special child who has a keen sense and awareness of their environment and themselves. The methods employed in raising an HSP child will have lifelong consequences, perhaps, even beyond that of a less sensitive child. It behooves parents of HSP children that they allow the child to tell the parent who they are and to listen. But this requires diligence and guidance from the parent. You are still the parent, and the child will look to you for help in forming their ego/personality. Authenticity is very important to HSPs. Allowing the child to guide you as the parent in helping them find and become their authentic self is paramount in raising a happy, well-adjusted confident adult. Here's some good reading for Parents of HSP Children. Elaine Aron's book on raising highly sensitive children. https://www.amazon.com/Highly-Sensitive-Child-Children-Overwhelms-ebook/dp/B000FC1IJ0/ref=sr_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=hsp+children&qid=1630078377&sr=8-3 Dr. Aron's book on being an HSP parent. https://www.amazon.com/Highly-Sensitive-Parent-Brilliant-Overwhelms-ebook/dp/B07RB2ZQ5K/ref=sr_1_4?dchild=1&keywords=hsp+children&qid=1630078436&sr=8-4 Ted Zeff's classic on raising HSP boys. https://www.amazon.com/Strong-Sensitive-Boy-Ted-Zeff-ebook/dp/B004P5NVHA/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=ted+zeff&qid=1630078509&sr=8-1 Website for Parenting the Highly Sensitive Child. https://www.thehighlysensitivechild.com/ Please share your thoughts in the comment section.  A Blog about Sensory Processing Sensitivity from the Worldview of a High Sensing Male Note: This article is largely speculative and was written to generate thoughtful conversation on flow state, gamma brainwaves, DMT, and the relationship of the three. It is to be taken as such. In a recent blog article I published for Highly Sensitive Refuge, I wrote about flow state and its importance to facilitate goals and increase happiness. In the article, I suggested ways to enter flow state in a conscious, meaningful way, particularly using mindfulness techniques, such as meditation. A brainwave frequency often associated with flow state is gamma. We think of high cognitive and thinking states mostly task-oriented to be in High Beta. But gamma is a faster frequency between 25 to 140 Hz. Gamma waves are the fastest brain waves and occur most often when you are alert and attentive to a task. When your brain produces higher levels of gamma brain waves, you tend to be happier and more receptive. This, of course, is a good thing. Gamma waves produce a coherent, unified perception across brain regions. Which sounds a lot like flow state. Now, I'd like to introduce another possible way to enter flow state. By use of microdosing psychoactive substances in a carefully controlled and monitored way. Many of the psychoactive substances have at their root a common substance, DMT. What is DMT? It's a powerful psychedelic drug that has been used by indigenous people in South America and in other parts of the world since time immemorial as part of their religious practices. The substance is a natural substance derived from various plants and contains N-N-Dimethyltryptamine (DMT). When smoked or injected, DMT produces an intense sensation which provides a most profound human experience. Psychedelics are the oldest psychopharmacological agent known to man. They have been used relatively safely for thousands of years. The key characteristic of psychedelic substances is their ability to induce a state of altered perception, thought and feeling, that is not experienced ordinarily except in cases of dreaming or religious ecstasy . To quote an early LSD pioneer, Dr. Daniel X. Freedman, "…the state is portentousness – the capacity of the mind to see more than it can tell, to experience more than it can explicate…to experience boundlessness and boundaryless events from the banal to the profound." This quote describes the full-on, psychedelic experience that we are most familiar with, down the rabbit hole and subject to the psychedelic's active life in our bodies, as to how intense, how long, and how profound. But is there a way to tweak the dosage, to affect increased focus and concentration, and perhaps activate Gamma waves to induce a state of flow without experiencing life-altering or revelatory experiences? Let's see. Isn't DMT (and, for that matter, all hallucinogens) dangerous? The popular perception of psychedelics or entheogens (from the Greek, "to generate the God within.") is that they are dangerous drugs that cause reckless and destructive behavior in individuals and may lead to states of psychosis. This was the perception of leaders in government in the 1970s that lead to classifying entheogens as Schedule I substances, making them illegal by Federal law. It was promoted by conservative politicians to control unruly behavior in the youth of the day, and it intended to restore order in the status quo. Serious research had been conducted for many years before the enactment of the Controlled Substances Act of 1970. It was suggesting that these substances, particularly LSD, showed some promise in aiding in the treatment of depression and addictions. That all stopped with the enactment of this law. Research stopped, and many people went to jail for possession of these substances. Fortunately, the restrictions on research have eased in the last few years, and progress, albeit slowly, is being made in demonstrating benefits, long known but now being shown again in controlled studies. As a result, psychedelics are generally considered safe, with a low probability of dependence or addiction. This does not mean that they are without hazards. And should not be used without some controls and considerations for legality. What is desperately needed is more research and guidance on usage for constructive purposes. For this article, we will focus on the usage of DMT. DMT is generally inhaled, ingested, or injected and produces intense psychedelic experiences usually short, i.e., 10-15 minutes. At higher doses, the experience is intense and often seemingly otherworldly. At lower doses, the effects produce mild mood elevation and calming sensations. Interestingly, DMT does occur naturally in human and other mammal brains. Trace amounts of DMT are found in the human pineal gland and other parts of the body. This endogenous DMT helps contribute to higher-order brain functioning and learning, and memory. These are key aspects in flow state. What is the relationship between DMT and GAMMA and Flow? How often do humans naturally enter the Gamma brain wave state? Well, I suppose that would correlate with how often we are in a state of high alert waking consciousness. That, in turn, may correlate with the type of engagement you have with work, play and hobbies. There does appear to be a relationship between higher intelligence and gamma brainwave state activity. That does make sense since this higher brainwave state would likely be firing more often in people of higher intelligence as they often engage in highly focused intellectual activities (my speculation). Is there a relationship between gamma brainwaves and flow state? Gamma has all the earmarks of flow state. Focused concentration, alertness, and engagement to a task. For this article, I was unable to find a study related to the two, perhaps, that study is in progress now, or maybe I just missed it. But the inference from what I was able to read does make sense to conjecture that they two are related. Both use higher cognitive functioning, memory, and prior learning to create a state of high engagement. Thus, gamma may be a biomarker of high-functioning flow. Does DMT (or other entheogens) put us into a hyper flow state at its extreme or lower doses, a more normal functioning flow state? The use of DMT has been shown to alter the alpha brain waves of subjects and increase traveling brainwaves from the occipital region of the brain to the frontal areas. This forward traveling effect is correlated with visual perception, which appears to be enhanced with DMT usage. Alpha waves were reduced in these traveling packets, and delta and theta waves increased. However, the study pointed out that there was a liberation of sorts of lower-level information streaming forward to the brain's frontal areas, typically top-down. This finding could be significant in flow as much of flow state may be affected by memory and prior learning. With a liberated channel streaming more data inbound, DMT might influence flow. Endogenous DMT is suggested to influence the cognitive functions of the brain directly. What does this mean to HSPs? Because HSPs are naturally deep thinkers, deep processors, why even go there? Do we really need to ingest an entheogen to get into flow state or any other deep state of consciousness? Well, the answer is simple – it depends. It depends on the individual and how adventurous they are, I suppose. The real question is: is there a benefit to doing something like this? Without question, trying to reach flow state has proven benefits (see the blog post I referenced in the beginning). Increasing gamma brainwaves through various meditative practices were shown to be effective. The study also noted that expert meditators tended to have greater attentive states and limited mind wandering, both artifacts of flow state. Naturally, there are other physiological benefits to meditation besides aiding in entering flow state, but taken in whole, the benefit to HSPs seems profound. Moreover, there appears to be a line of research now devoted to the neuronal correlates of meditation techniques known as contemplative neuroscience. I certainly hope this research branch bears fruit. Nevertheless, it is interesting to note that meditation, flow state, and psychedelic substances inhibit self-referencing (see Default Mode Network, DMN) processing. It is somewhat related to the notion of blocking a form of self-consciousness or de se thoughts, which focus on first-person thinking. This is especially relevant for HSPs, who spend a great deal of time doing self-referencing thinking, which can often be limiting and self-defeating. Achieving flow state via activity, meditation, or even with entheogens might aid in creating breakthrough states for HSPs (or others) locked in perpetual self-defeating mode. The ability to reach an epiphanal moment requires the ability to let go or surrender and the ability to be in a state of total absorption or attention. Again, getting into that state where the DMN is limited. More research is needed but in the meantime. Let's look at microdosing for wellness and mental health. Another recent study found that chronic, intermittent, low doses of DMT produced an antidepressant effect and fear extinction learning in rats without impacting working memory or social interaction. Shane LeMaster, a sports psychologist, states that "flow is this sense where your mind suddenly just gets out of your way." He believes that flow state can be reached with microdoses of psychedelics and has found a microdose can keep him in flow most of the day. He believes flow aids in brain synchronization. Another subject self-reporting study showed that microdosing LSD and psilocybin produced several benefits in subjects, including lower dysfunctional attitudes and negativity, higher wisdom, more open-mindedness, and greater creativity. In addition, microdosing produced in many users helps manage depression, anxiety, and PTSD, reduced or eliminated addictions, enhanced moods, creativity, mindfulness, and emotional response. Now with all of that said, let's remember that psychedelic substances are still, for the most part, illegal in the US and most countries of the world. There are now some states allowing some usage of these substances to limited degrees. Nevertheless, I urge caution for anyone pursuing the usage of entheogens, regardless of your intent. Things are changing for the better, albeit slowly. Keep informed. Here are some other precautions:
Please share your thoughts in the comment section.  A Blog about Sensory Processing Sensitivity from the Worldview of a High Sensing Male A term has surfaced recently into my consciousness: neurodivergent. What does this mean? There is a movement afoot to expand the view of what we consider normal brain functioning that would now include many developmental disorders that would be seen as dysfunctional in the past. The thought is to expand what we now consider a wider spectrum of mental diversity. Judy Singer, a sociologist who has autism, coined the term in the late 1990s to include these disorders as normal variations in how the brain processes and functions. The idea behind this diversity is to demonstrate that although to the general population, these "specializations" might seem aberrant, in fact, they may be considered strengths, areas of specialized focus. The argument for encasing the idea of normal divergence of human mental functioning expressed by these variations would consider them to be adaptations, which provide strengths and diversity to the human genome. Furthermore, many experts believe that because these adaptations remain within the human population, they have some evolutionary purpose and advantages. For HSPs, this should sound familiar. Normality This seems to beg the question, what is normal? It is reported that over a fourth of Americans and up to one-half over a lifetime suffer from some type of mental disorder. This would suggest that at some point, most of us suffer from some type of dysfunction, whether temporary or permanent. However, how much dysfunction is needed to be then termed abnormal? As Peter Kramer suggests, "If for many of the factors difference confers some degree of vulnerability to dysfunction, then we will find that we are all defective in one fashion or another." If we take into account the enormous diversity of the human genome then certainly defining normal becomes more problematic. Does normality imply that one is free from dysfunction, or can we now agree that as we all share the human experience, we are prone to divergent functioning, which must be accounted for as part and parcel of what it means to be human? As Kramer states, "the awareness that we all bear flaws is humbling. But it could lead us to a new sense of inclusiveness and tolerance, recognition that imperfection is the condition of every life." Could then this be implied that our "dys-perfection" be the fruit of our human existence and a key contributor to overall human adaptation and survivability? Neurodiversity attempts to cover a wide range of developmental disorders, principally: Autism, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Dyslexia, and Dyspraxia. Autism is a spectrum disorder classified as a complex neurodevelopmental condition that includes impairment of communication and social skills, combined with repetitive behaviors, and impaired learning and executive functioning. ADHD covers a wide range of attention and organizing skills deficits that often manifest as impulsivity and distraction. Dyslexia refers to reading or writing problems that cannot otherwise be explained by a lack of intellectual, learning, or sensory issues. Dyspraxia refers to a condition in which impairment occurs in the execution of motor skills and the ability to execute a plan of action. In addition, some dyspraxic individuals may experience Sensory Integration Dysfunction, which creates oversensitivity or under sensitivity to physical stimuli. Dyspraxic individuals may also experience what is considered a type of sensory overload, which causes panic attacks. If seen in the light of neurodiversity, are all of these behaviors adaptations? One theory proposes that these disorders result from environmental factors due to early childhood stress and trauma. Yet, complex human behaviors are rarely just products of the environment but a complicated interplay between genetics and environment. Even in their seeming dysfunction, these disorders can show the amazing adaptability of humans. It is noted that people with dyslexia can adapt to their struggle with reading to develop efficient and remarkable visual memory, which aids in reading and comprehension. In his book, Attention Deficit Disorder: a Different Perception, Thom Hartmann argued that an accounting of ADHD might be to describe the disorder due to an adaptation from a characteristic of earlier hunter-gatherer humans now stuck in a farming society. The idea that adaptive characteristics from a different, older cultural milieu did not translate well into a society that had moved on from nomadic life to a more stationary life. The genetic traits once useful in hunting animals, i.e. hyperfocus, were no longer as important and useful in raising animals and crops. Yet, the trait survived to bring us individuals with ADHD. Hartmann argues that ADHD is not necessarily maladaptive nor a disorder but needs to be seen in the context of its original purpose. There is some research supporting this hypothesis. Again, the point is, what is normal? Ways in which HSPs may be considered to be non-normal. Studies have pointed out that often highly sensitive people may be confused with having a variety of disorders including autism, schizophrenia, social anxiety disorder, and are prone to episodes of depression and moodiness. In fact, the trait of Sensory Processing Sensitivity has been referred to as introverted emotional temperament, chronic cortical/cortisol arousal, hypervigilance, and innate shyness. Thank God for Dr. Elaine Aron giving it a much more positive framing. Nevertheless, we are a minority population within humans, which makes us a little non-standard. Many HSPs report, along with other people that are not highly sensitive, that the trait is problematic at times, making life complicated and challenging. When overwhelm kicks in, SPS can be considered debilitating to some HSPs if they do not know how to handle the overstimulation we often experience. In addition, there is a certain amplification of life's experiences, which may lead to depression, anxiety, and fear-based limitations. Then there's the social isolation that often accompanies our introvert dominant personalities, and for the extraverted HSPs, the dealing with the need for downtime. Yet, taken as a whole, can we say the trait is a dysfunction? I think not. I still hold true the explanation of Dr. Aron, that the trait is an evolutionary adaptation necessary within our species. It continues to proliferate through time and does have a purpose. As Dr. Tracy Cooper often says, we are a fine-tuned instrument. Fussy at times, but necessarily so, to bring about the sensory detecting purposes of our nature. To be able to detect the subtle, the nuanced, and the environmental nuggets others miss. Is our trait (SPS) a form of specialization? Yes, most definitely. When you consider the HSP's ability to think deeply, deeply consider, and deeply feel, that alone makes the trait a specialization - an adaptation, if you will. And that is on the backend of the processing; if you add the ability to consider and sense the subtleties in the environment to feed that backend, you add a depth and dimension that adds value to observation and deduction. To then tie it all together, you add empathy--the social emotion, which gives HSPs relatability and the ability to sense others, aid others, feel others, gives us a potent arsenal of capabilities, that despite our challenges, make us specialists amongst humans. We are the canary in the coal mine, the early warning system, and to use a crude metaphor, the pebble in the shoe, warning our fellow humans of impending trouble. We may be a pain in the ass to some, but we are necessary. If that is dysfunctional, then why hasn't nature selected us out? Every day and it seems more so now than ever before; we expand the terms to being human. Neurodivergence attempts to continue this trend. Why not move beyond developmental disorders and include rare personality traits or minority personality characteristics such as SPS? Doesn't that add to the complex stew of human personality traits? So, what if we are neurodivergent? Should we be? We are just what we are and what nature intended for us – all of us. What if we called it “neuroinclusive?” Please share your thoughts in the comment section.   A Blog about Sensory Processing Sensitivity from the Worldview of a High Sensing Male
Most HSPs I know assume that we as a group are mostly introverts (which is true, about 70%), quiet and observant types. This idea often serves us well in assessing situations and navigating through life. One of our primary traits is the trait of observing and then processing – deeply. This deep thinking is often, and I would say mostly, done quietly. So, a model for most HSPs might be watching, sometimes listening, then remaining still and quiet to aid our thinking. We also know that all HSPs are not introverts; however, we are all observant. Sometimes we observe and do not voice our opinions for various reasons. I suggest a few in the next section. Queen Elizabeth I of England had a motto in Latin: Video et Taceo, which is translated to mean “I see and remain silent. “ Although her motivations for its use might have been different from what a typical HSP might have, it seems a fitting motto for highly sensitive people. How can this be interpreted? There is a multitude of ways this phrase can be interpreted. Let’s look at a few.
So, how does this apply to highly sensitive people? What stood out about this succinct phrase was the emphasis on watching, listening, and pausing, not responding immediately, but rather thinking, pondering, processing. Isn’t this what HSPs do naturally? Aren’t we generally the quiet, contemplative, sensitive types who are NOT the loudest in the room? Doesn’t keen observational skills require almost a quiet attention to detail? Doesn’t talking, speaking interfere in some ways with observation and learning? I think that this style of learning and observing is natural for highly sensitive people. Because listening is not a passive process and is now considered active, as is speech, there can be some interference in learning if the two overlap. For example, in learning languages, it was often regarded as critical to have the student speak early on in the learning process to solidify elocution. Now, the thinking is that more time initially needs to be spent actively listening before speech attempts to learn the mechanics of the language before attempting meaningful speech. If you think about that, it makes perfect sense. Isn’t that how you learned your native language as a child? You listened long before you spoke. Comprehension is enhanced with extended listening. Listening for speaking does not fully utilize memory, which is a requirement for learning long term. However, listening for comprehension lays a solid framework for later learning to speak and uses both short- and long-term memory. You could almost slap a post-it note over the whole thing with the phrase Video et Taceo. Environmental sensitivity factors shape learning styles. These factors help an individual to navigate their world. Some of the individual’s learning style is foundational, i.e., genetic, but other factors come into play due to the environment. Is it then possible that a “video et taceo” style of learning or operating is native to HSPs? Think of our quiet observational nature. One could argue that Video et Taceo would generally be a good motto for HSPs. Some would argue that being quiet is not always a virtue. But it seems for HSP being quiet is almost a native state, certainly for HSP introverts. Perhaps, being silent is a precursor for wisdom, foregoing the constant chattering of idle dialogue, to devote more brain time to observation and learning. My father used to say to me when I was talking too much, “Son, do you have something to say, or do you just want to say something?” Silence is golden or, so we are told. Can HSPs use our silence and observations to add value to the world? At what point do we break the silence and speak our truth? How long do we let our observational brew percolate before serving up to an unsuspecting world? I sometimes wonder if we can be too silent for too long. What use is the wisdom we glean from the environment if we don’t share it? Just like with learning a language, at some point, you must attempt to speak, however feeble that may be. Breaking the silence is like breaking wind; you can only hold it in so long. A multitude of quotations from wise humans. What is your favorite quotation on silence that encapsulates your personal philosophy? Reply in comment section.
Please share your thoughts in the comment section.  A Blog about Sensory Processing Sensitivity from the Worldview of a High Sensing Male
What do you think it is that makes HSPs so self-reflective? We inherently have the internals for deep processing, deep reflection, and deep emotional churn, but is this all that is at play here? Is this a sufficient explanation? In reading Michael Pollen’s book, How to Change Your Mind: What the New Science of Psychedelics Teaches Us About Consciousness, Dying, Addiction, Depression, and Transcendence, I discovered a term that intrigued me. He speaks of the default mode network (DMN) and how psychoactive plants and drugs interfere with the function of the default mode network in the human brain. The DMN is a brain network of various brain structures instrumental in creating moments of self-reflection and daydreaming when the brain is engaged in a task-negative state. It is where our minds go when we are not in goal-seeking, active task mode. It made me wonder if this is a state that HSPs are prone to enter more than non-HSPs. This type of reverie and disengaged self-reflection reminds me of the rumination many HSPs get caught up in regularly. If so, does this explain our tendency for long periods of deep reflection, and are we naturally drawn to this state because of our deep processing capabilities and the need for self-reflection? What is the Default Mode Network? Hans Berger first proposed a default mode network, the inventor of the electroencephalograph (EEG), to account for his observation that the brain, even at rest, is busy. Marcus Raichle of the Washington University School of Medicine later coined the term default mode network. DMN is characterized by daydreaming, future-looking thoughts, gauging other’s perspectives, and especially with self-reflection. An output of DMN state is often spontaneous thinking which can lead to creative thinking. DMN seems to begin developing in the human brain around ages nine to twelve. DMN may also be implicated with disorders such as Alzheimer’s, Autism and Schizophrenia, by reduced activity of the DMN. Even in the DMN state, the brain consumes about 20 % of the body’s energy, much more than any other organ. DMN is not still fully understood. The Purpose of the DMN The DMN is now often associated with the social brain and the social understanding of others. It appears to be involved with emotion perception, empathy, theory of mind, and morality. This leads to aiding in understanding others, understanding self, controlling self, and processes that control the social interface between self and others. Its tie to memory also aids in making predictions about the behavior of others and provides a framework for moral judgments of other’s behaviors. It is also most notably tied to the notion of ego or self-identity. The ego is our self-definition of who we think we are, regardless of how subjective and incorrect that definition may be. In other words, when the brain is not task busy, it often turns inward to think of itself. The operative word here is daydreaming, something that HSPs do regularly. Another reason to suspect that DMN has special meaning for highly sensitive people. To me, this sounds much like a type of twilight thinking mode, a reverie state, much like twilight sleep, that few moments of in and out of consciousness we experience just before bedtime. This mode of thinking sees the world through our perceptions and ideals, sometimes to exclude external feedback. I have often mentioned this in the blogs and my book, Confessions of a Sensitive Man. As deep-thinking individuals, we often create ideas of ourselves that have no social confirmation because we hold them tightly to our vests. We lock ourselves in these self-contained prisons and never test our theories in the outside world. We are, perhaps, locked in our DMN based logical loops. What is the relevance to HSPs? Are we more prone to activation of this state than most of the population? Just following anecdotal social media discussion group conversations would indicate that this may be the case. Many HSPs, especially introverted HSPs, would find comfort in this type of state – brain at rest, task neutral and reflecting on self, and predicting the behaviors of others. A controlled state of mind, where outcomes are constantly evaluated in a safe place, evaluating memories (rumination) and developing strategies of future behavior. A staging ground in facing the world. I am not placing a value judgment on this, simply looking at the likelihood that this would be something that many HSPs, myself included, would find comforting in our downtime. It is also a place of spontaneous idea generation, resulting in some very creative ideas and could explain our tendency towards creativity. Conversely, it could lead to too much rumination, which is often the antecedent to depression and anxiety. Can this state be induced and controlled? Since the brain “defaults” to this mode when we are not actively engaged in task-positive activities or goal-seeking activities, whenever we remain in a task-negative situation, we are going to be in DMN, unless, of course, we are asleep. The extent that we are more “active” or “non-active” may be the determining factor as to whether we are in DMN or not. It is interesting to note that meditation, a task that would seem task neutral, helps facilitate the entering of DMN and can positively affect both DMN and TPN modulation. In a Buddhist sense, the DMN can be like the monkey mind, scattered and full of intrusive random thinking. Meditation is a way to help harness the monkey by applying mindfulness to aid in controlling daydreaming for purposeful pursuits. Daydreaming can be positive constructive (creativity seeking), or guilty dysphoric (obsessive anxiety), or attentionally out of control (scatterbrained). If we use the DMN for constructive pursuits, we are fully utilizing its positive capacity. Since the DMN is both forward and backward seeking (attachment to memory), it can keep us from staying in the present moment. It can also take us down well-worn neural pathways that can lead us to anxiety, worry, and pessimism. The DMN can be overactivated, leading to hyperconnectivity, which sounds like something many HSPs should be familiar with, much like our overstimulation. How do we control this? For one, we can alter our consciousness with mindfulness mediation. What has also been suggested is the use of mind-altering plant medicines (i.e., psilocybin, mescaline, ayahuasca, et al.) Psychedelic drugs deactivate the DMN’s integration function within the brain, a homeostatic state that leaves us in a state of “baby “consciousness, a primitive functioning state. I’ll leave that for another day’s discussion but mounting research in the use of psychoactive plants is showing promise for this in a controlled way with therapeutic supervision. Another option is to change the neural pathway route by invoking TPN-related tasks. This is essentially leaving DMN mode by thinking outside of the box, in essence creating new thoughts. This may lead to another option that utilizes unfettered creative thinking. Thinking abstractly, like purposeful playfulness, opens the door to new ideas and breaks the sameness of DMN thinking. I liken this to hopeful, optimistic thinking. Finally, we can change the channel by focusing on the positive past versus the negative past. Focus on successes and not dwell on failures. A recent study highlights the observation that tactile stimulation appears to deactivate the DMN as well as does the use of visual and auditory stimulation. So, get out there and hug someone, with their permission, of course. Watch a movie or listen to some meaningful music if you get trapped in DMN no man’s land. Are there any benefits to this state? It appears that DMN is part of the standard equipment with human brains. It has both positive and negative attributes, which we should all be mindful of. It seems clear that harnessed with mindfulness being in DMN mode can lead to moments of creativity and reverie. Its use of memory to look backward and forward can, without your control, lead to depression or anxiety or positivity and confidence, depending on your controlling the focus. It appears to some extent to be a gateway to the unconscious or at least unconscious long-term memory. That can be good or bad, depending on what is retrieved. And it appears to be a fine line between states of dementia, PTSD, depression, and Autism. Nevertheless, we should be aware of when we are in DMN and how it is affecting us. By reducing unbridled DMN thought creating, we can allow ourselves to experience the present moment with greater objectivity, which Shapiro calls “re-perceiving.” With focused attention via mental training to reduce competitive distraction and daydreaming, we can spend some of the negative DMN time on something more optimistic and positive. Although I must be honest, I do love my daydreaming time. Please share your thoughts in the comment section.  A Blog about Sensory Processing Sensitivity from the Worldview of a High Sensing Male
One of the big four traits of Highly Sensitive People is the propensity for overstimulation, often referred to as overwhelm. Sensory inputs become too much to handle, and the finely tuned HSP systems begin to shut down or, at the very least, require downtime. This time is essential for HSPs to regroup, recover and restore. All HSPs will experience this at some time or another. Many in difficult work or home environments experience this frequently. For some of us, this overwhelm is embarrassing, especially for HSP males, who struggle with their masculine pride to admit that emotions, environments, and engagements can cause us to go into shutdown mode. We have been socialized to believe that this type of reaction is a sign of weakness-- not being able to tough it out and press on. But can we control overwhelm? Head it off at the pass at the first sign of onset? And more importantly, should we? Is overwhelm a sign of an undisciplined mind? Let’s see. What is overwhelm? What happens to the highly sensitive mind when it reaches overwhelm? Because HSPs process stimuli at a much deeper level both internally and externally, they often get caught in cycles of strong visceral and mental reactions, leading to depletion, exhaustion, and overstimulation. With poor coping skills or lack of support, many HSPs find themselves caught in a vicious cycle of overstimulation, shutdown, and then overstimulation again. This cycle is exceedingly exhausting and leads many HSPs into avoidant or withdrawn behavior. This behavior compounds personal and socially derived stress and stigmatizes the HSP into feeling negative about themselves and their ability to cope. And emotional reaction is often the root cause of overstimulation. Without getting too much in the weeds about the anatomy or dynamics of emotions, emotions play a large part in human behavior, and for HSPs, emotions are our currency. Much has been said about the limbic system, particularly the amygdala, in driving emotional response. The amygdala is most often associated with fear response and plays an essential role in alerting to danger, including fight or flight. However, there appears to be a three-tiered model for the emotional function that works above and below the limbic system or the midbrain. At the base, the brain stem contains a primary stimulus-response adaptive reaction. From there, emotion moves up to the more complex reactivity within the hypothalamus and thalamus, followed by memory and cognition of the limbic/cortex neural networks. Each level represents more complexity of the emotional response to the environment. From an evolutionary standpoint, the continued higher-level function extends and expands the brain functioning not to replace earlier, more superficial structures but to enhance them. The use of memory paired with emotion allows for past experiences reference to determine future action. This apparatus is key to enhancing recall by pairing memory with emotion to provide a more robust memory encoding. This encoding of memory energized by emotion makes recall of important data significant for survival. The use of cortical influence on the limbic system to throttle emotional response signifies the importance of these higher-order facilities to allow, especially in primates, to moderate, simple stimulus-response towards more directed goal-oriented behaviors that may serve a broader and more adaptive reaction. In short, this means that we as humans can use our critical thinking capacity to redirect automatic emotional responses with more directed thoughtful actions. This ability is vital to when thinking about our ability to regulate emotional overwhelm. Emotions may be triggered both bottom-up, which generally follows the stimulus-response model, much of which is reactive and spontaneous, or top-down, a self-created stimulus that causes the rudimentary response of the lower level to fire. This suggests that our emotions can be created automatically and instinctively or through self-initiated and controlled processes. The point is that we can control our emotional response, which leads us to the idea of emotional regulation. The Benefits of Emotional Regulation for HSPs Emotional regulation, which is often advocated by Dr. Aron to alleviate emotional overload, has many benefits for HSPs. Emotional regulation is the ability to respond to the demands of a wide range of human emotions with socially tolerable responses that allow for both spontaneity and restriction of emotion when warranted. It covers a wide range of processes that include feelings, physiological responses, thoughts, and bodily actions. This capacity to regulate our emotions can aid in maintaining clear vision, focused and appropriate responses, and developing a calm mind. Part of the strategy of handling emotions is to allow the emotional experiences to flow through you and not overwhelm you. Understanding that you can override what would appear to be an automatic reaction with a thoughtful strategy will allow you to “flip the bit” in your mind turning from a panicked response to calm and thoughtful action. Putting the attention on the control and not on what would ordinarily be an automatic response. A process model suggests several strategies used for emotional control, not all of which are ideal.
So, as highly emotional creatures, how do we get to the point where emotional regulation is natural and easy for us. It so often seems that we react without much thought to emotional stimulus and create overwhelming situations that drive us to shut down and then downregulate to achieve a sense of calm. This seems quite natural for many HSPs, but is it necessary? Is this just a matter of learning to discipline our minds or, better yet more efficiently use them? How can we train our minds not to overreact? Aside from some of the other strategies suggested above, can we retrain our minds to bypass the emotion => overreaction => overwhelm cycle automatically? In short, I believe we can. One of the first things in changing behaviors is to become mindful of the behavior. Start by looking for triggering events; these usually happen in patterns. What triggers you? We all have our buttons, and to control the reaction, you must first identify the trigger. We do this by observing our patterns. We all have patterns. Humans are notoriously creatures of habit. If you follow the patterns, you will be able to observe the triggers and reactions. Many of our patterns are automatic behaviors, also known as automaticity. These behaviors often operate below conscious awareness and can seem to pop out of nowhere. By being mindful, we can trace back to the trigger and response to find and observe the pattern at beginning of the reaction. The idea is to disrupt the pattern by use of explicit attention by the conscious mind, altering the outcome. The disruption of the pattern breaks off the response, allowing you to deconstruct what happened. Understanding the mechanics, without necessarily exploring the deep roots, will at least give you the ability to create a different state, perhaps, one of calm detachment. Now, aware of the pattern, you can deploy one of the process model strategies suggested or create your own. Deep seeded issues will need to be pursued with a qualified therapist. Still, for everyday emotional problems, this can aid in regulating your emotional responses and even increase your Emotional Intelligence. Learning to perceive, use, understand and manage your emotions can empower you to take control of what we often see as the uncontrollable fire hose of emotional reaction. It may simply be training, control, and discipline. Towards creating the foundation for mindfulness awareness of our emotional patterns, we must first engage in activities that create that calm mind necessary to do self-examination. This state of relaxation is portable and can travel beyond the meditation mat. Each exercise in the real world of calm detachment requires repetition, one of the critical elements of any learning. Practice this in the real world. Seek out situations where you can practice a calm mind in choppy waters. Invoke calmness and observe the flow. Doing this will require your full attention . A study showed that this ability aids in emotional regulation. I highly recommend using neurofeedback training to create a trained pattern of calm and learned resiliency in the brain. A recent study found that the experimental group more easily controlled top-down connectivity as measured by MRI neurofeedback. My personal experiences with neurofeedback systems, such as Neuroptimal from Zengar, on an anecdotal level did increase my brain resilience in stressful situations. As this technology becomes more personal and interactive, this approach is more available to the masses. See my earlier post on readily available brain hacks to promote relaxation. The bottom line is finding your path to greater self-regulation. The Benefits of a Disciplined Mind My top five benefits of a disciplined, self-regulated mind are:
Please share your thoughts in the comment section.  A Blog about Sensory Processing Sensitivity from the Worldview of a High Sensing Male
Do you remember the last time you were in an argument? How did it go? How did you feel after the argument/disagreement ended? Did you feel heard? Did you get overly emotional or discombobulated? Were you able to defend your position or at least feel you made your point? Or did you feel like your arguing skills were lacking? Probably about a day later, you had thoughts about how you could have taken a position that would have gotten your point across. Perhaps, you thought too late about a clever retort that might have helped you save face in the argument. You may have been bullied into a concession that you didn't want to make. That doesn't feel good. I have often wondered if it was only me or are other HSPs lousy at verbal encounters, especially the ones that get heated. It's like our brains get scrambled with emotion, conflicting signals, and as I said in an earlier post, it went right to fight or flight mode, without any thought, logic, or reason. How do we as HSPs get better at verbal confrontation? Not so much to conquer our opponents but rather to be heard, make salient points, stay genuine and authentic and not turn into emotional cannons, sometimes firing blanks. Can we train our HSP brains to be better at persuasive and unemotional arguments and not get so damn frazzled? I think the answer is yes. It takes some practice, some knowledge, and the willingness to slow down thoughts in our brains. Let's look at a few ways we can learn to master the art of verbal self-defense and construct better arguments in our discussions with others. Suzette Haden Elgin and The Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense In the 80s, Suzette Haden Elgin wrote a book about verbal self-defense and how to defend against verbal attacks. The book was called The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense. Before the term Highly Sensitive Person was coined, Elgin wrote this book for those of us HSPs and others who found themselves often lacking in verbal self-defense skills. A more perfect book could not have been written for many HSPs' troubles in dealing with verbal assaults. The book's premise was to teach others how to defend against eight common types of verbal violence and defuse and deflect potential verbal confrontations. Elgin was a linguist, author, and professor at the University of California at San Diego and understood the significance of language, body language, and tone in verbal confrontations. What does a gentle verbal self-defense strategy look like? Understanding how our brain functions under the stress of heated arguments is necessary for comprehending why the sometimes hyped-up emotional brain of HSPs works under fire. When we get into confrontational situations, our brains activate the amygdala, which kicks in the fight or flight response. This mode instinctively bypasses the thinking brain. The brain then pumps epinephrine and norepinephrine, hormones that will ignite that feeling of rushing emotion. The heart kicks in, preparing to run or fight, which causes blood pressure to rise, and stress starts to peak. Your breathing quickens, your voice changes pitch, and muscles tighten. At this point, many HSPs begin to panic. The brain is overwhelmed with stressful signals, and logical thoughts scramble. Keeping up with the verbal assault seems impossible as we absorb slight after slight, not quite sure how to respond. We often freeze in an unstoppable visceral reaction. How do we get past this or, better yet, prevent it? How can we set personal boundaries for ourselves and watch for the communication triggers that set off this panicked response? First, we must understand what the triggers are for us. Is it a subtle backhanded comment, backstabbing, or is it more direct, such as yelling, belittling, or abject name-calling? Are you threatened when the attack is too physical, such as violating your space or aggressive posturing? All of these can lead to the triggers that set off the panic response. To move forward with a defense, one must understand how to identify those individuals or situations that incite these hurtful or threatening feelings. Next, we must train ourselves in how to respond to these triggering situations and stay calm. Finally, we must be prepared, even in advance, for knowing what to say in response to threats. These actions will keep us calm and in control. That is the key to controlling panic. Elgin concludes that avoiding hostile verbal exchanges is a matter of both physical and mental health. We all often react without listening to what the other is saying; this causes a mental leap to conclusions, which only escalates the emotion. When nobody's listening, nobody is getting heard. Our natural inclination is to attack back, plead or debate the attack – none of which effectively work under panic mode. We only give the attacker more fuel by employing these strategies. Giving them attention by continued heated engagement is not going to deescalate the situation. The four basic rules she posits are 1) know that you are under attack (you'll know this best by how you feel), 2) know what kind of attack you are facing, 3) know how to make your defense fit the attack and finally, 4) know how to follow through. Strategies include avoiding the situation or person that likely baits you into a confrontation. Once engaged, you can withdraw or ignore the attacker. You can deflect the attacker by changing topics or offer a compromise. Elgin offers several psychological devices, including matching sensory modes with the attacker. People often use sensory language to engage with others. If possible, match the attacker's language style, whether visual, auditory, or kinesthetic. This strategy may not avoid the argument, but it may cause the discussion not to escalate. Watch out for baiting presuppositions in the attacker's statements. Often, they are tied to an outcome that may have no direct relationship to the argument. "If you loved me, you'd take out the trash." The best response is to dismantle the condition, "if you loved me," by stating that you do love the person, letting the condition fall to the wayside. Some of Elgin's other suggestions have to do with staying calm, watching body language for important emotional clues, ignoring presuppositions and conditions, and focusing on two primary strategies: not feeding the attack with attention and responding to emotion with logic, which she calls Computer mode. The training comes in when you learn how not to take attacks personally. For HSPs, emotional overreaction is a natural reaction and inflates our empathy mechanisms. Doing exercises to help keep your brain calm allows the brain to avoid jumping directly into flight or fight mode. This keeps your thinking brain in the game. Learning to pause after the initial attack is critical. Let the energy flow over you and through you – be quiet and wait. Listen attentively, then pause. When you do speak, speak humbly. Make a reciprocal offer after you understand their position. Be selective about the battles you choose and avoid battlegrounds; they have a way of generating fights. If you can get to flow state in the discussion, you will have a greater chance of finding compromise or understanding. By staying calm, you will see things sequentially versus random arrays of disparate thoughts to cloud your thinking—no more scrambled egg arguments. Say less, hear more. Often you can avoid the fray just by being quieter. Bullies want to fight. By ignoring the invitation, you deprive them of that opportunity and you win. Learn to avoid fights that you can't win; these are often fights with manipulators, narcissists, or strangers who have no emotional investment in you. Calm your ego. You mustn't or shouldn't take on all comers. Walking away can be a quiet win. When you do argue, at least do it logically. Paul Graham and His Hierarchy of Argument Paul Graham, a computer scientist, and essayist laid out a model for logical arguments that stacks argument styles into a pyramid, from the lowliest emotional name-calling at the base and at the apex a rational refutation of the central point of your attacker. It is an outline of learning to move from meanness to logical, rational debate. The hierarchy is worth noting for those of us who prefer not to live in the emotional world of ad hominin attacks. The method requires that you listen to your opponent and discern their central point. Ferret through the emotional crap and get to the core of the argument. Do not attack, name call, or retaliate the tone of the opponent. Instead, respond to the argument's substance, don't counter without proof, do not argue in general terms, but be specific, regardless of their emotional baiting. Stay with the central point. This method requires discipline and focus. You may even frustrate them with your logic and calm (remember Spock and Dr. McCoy in Star Trek). It becomes less about winning and more about learning and exchanging ideas. This is a case where less emotion can be better. It's worth considering, especially for us HSPs. Please share your thoughts in the comment section.  A Blog about Sensory Processing Sensitivity from the Worldview of a High Sensing Male
You no doubt have heard of the term fight or flight. It is often used to describe the physiological effects of an organism’s response to stress or danger. We often think of this when witnessing an attack from an aggressor or predator animal to an animal designated as prey. I’m thinking of the lion and zebra on some sweltering African savannah. It is often applied to human reactions to stress as well. More scientifically called the acute stress response, it can be invoked by even the perception of danger, whether real or imagined. From a physiological standpoint, it involves the discharging of energy from the sympathetic nervous system to prepare for various responses to danger. Much of this reaction is unconsciously bypassing our critical thinking processes. The reaction to the perceived threat may consider several survival strategies. The actions may take the form of freezing, fleeing, fighting, or internalizing a state of fright, producing a condition known as tonic immobility, fawning, or even fainting. The reactions are often instinctive, genetic, and can also be learned behaviors. As HSPs, are we more prone to falling into these states more quickly than others? Does our extra cautious nature put us in conflict with life more often and create the crucible for creating one or more of these states? Is there anything we can do to be more assertive or proactive when dealing with perceived threats or dangers? I think the answer is yes, and I’ve even included a fifth reaction that would override the unconscious responses and put us squarely in control of dealing with many of the imagined dangers. For now, I will call it the Flow Mode, in deference to the flow state. Defining the reactions to acute stress response Besides fight or flight reaction, there are several other responses to acute stress that are worth noting. These are both physiological and behavioral reactions. I’ll break them out below.
HSPs and Fight or Flight Seldom in modern society do we have to confront life and death situations daily. However, our reactions to stressful everyday life events are often converted to acute stress and reacted to by the body as if we still live in forests or plains complete with modern equivalents of predators. For some, and especially for HSPs who have more highly tuned startle reflexes , who are subject to emotional reactivity, we as HSPs may have more reactions attuned to anxiety and aggression. Because HSPs are more keenly aware of environmental cues, we often can misinterpret our bodily signals to represent significant threats and cut to an emergency reaction akin to panic. These threats are not usually life-threatening, but the reaction is still strong. The simple hearing of a threatening, angry voice within earshot can elicit a response to danger. Couple this with conditioning and life experiences, can set off without much conscious effort, a call to fight or flight. How each individual reacts can be influenced heavily by genetics, experiences, and individual personality. I suspect many HSPs when reacting to threatening situations, might employ the fight mode last, as it is the least confrontational and least taxing to our systems. This response may seem to make us look weak in the eyes of aggressors, but in reality, we are survivors. How we respond is a function of our inherent nature and our drive to survive. It seems nature built this into our brain wiring. To illustrate the point, an animal study was done on guppies swimming in a tank with an aggressive bass. The guppies were divided into three groups based on personality characteristics of bold, ordinary, and timid. After the study, 40 percent of the timid guppies who swam in the tank with the bass survived. Only 15 percent of the ordinary guppies survived, and yes, none of the bold guppies made it. Being a timid, cautious guppy has its benefits. We are not guppies but being cautious does not necessarily mean being passive. Surviving doesn’t necessarily mean we flee from confrontation, though; fighting should only be used in the direst circumstances. Whatever our reaction to fear may be, we have the capacity to overcome what we perceive to be threats but it will take action before we experience the threatening situation. HSPs should note that we can train our reactions to perceived threats with various brain training methods. Whether you use mindfulness training, meditation, EFT (tapping), self-hypnosis, neurofeedback training, or any other brain training technique, you can teach your mind to react to stress in a more ordered and calming way. Remember, this is not to reengineer your HSP sensibilities but rather to allow you to flow the stressors through your system to allow a mindful and moderate response. It is not emotional suppression but rather emotional regulation. Use that extraordinary HSP brain to survive. And you will swim with the guppies. Please share your thoughts in the comment section.  A Blog about Sensory Processing Sensitivity from the Worldview of a High Sensing Male Have you ever had a recurring, intrusive thought or thoughts invade your thought space? You know, the mostly involuntary thoughts, perhaps, unpleasant, and even a bit scary. Thoughts of death, yours or someone else’s, thoughts of committing some unspeakable act, or maybe even performing some sexual act that goes against your grain? A few years back, I wrote a blog about something similar that the French call “l’appell du vide,” or the call of the void. I bent the definition a bit to make a point about taking a leap of faith. However, the strictest definition of l’appel du vide is an intrusive thought to end it all – swerve on the centerline, leap over the edge, pull the trigger, or jump into the void. These intrusive types of thoughts have other names- negative automatic thoughts, obsessive thoughts, worry, rumination, or yes, intrusive thoughts. I have wondered lately if these thoughts plague other highly sensitive people. Highly sensitive people do seem to tend to worry (future thinking) or ruminate (past thinking) about a lot in their lives. Does that make us more susceptible to intrusive thoughts? Could these intrusive thoughts be the origin point of our rumination or perpetual worry? Do highly sensitive people see these intrusive thoughts as unfavorable, or merely some quirkiness of our personalities, odd but still adaptive. Some types of rumination are considered a kind of cognitive emotion regulation. Apart from being some pathology such as Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), it appears that we all experience these little fireflies of intrusiveness, flickering off and on in our brains from time to time. Intermittent intrusive thoughts are normal and quite common if they remain transient and don’t become obsessive rumination. What are intrusive thoughts? Intrusive thoughts are generally involuntary thoughts or flashes with unpleasant overtones, and if repetitive, can be distressing or feel difficult to manage. For most of us, they are a momentary annoyance and are never acted upon. They can jolt you because the nature of these thoughts is often an imagined act of carelessness, violence, or sexual promiscuity. Imagine the devil on your shoulder, easily swatted off but sometimes persistent and tiresome. Just having these thoughts doesn’t mean that you are weird or have uncontrollable issues. Remember, it is a matter of degree. Everyone gets them, even thoughtful, well-meaning HSPs. Is there a point when these thoughts should cause you to worry? The moment you become obsessive about the thought, however disturbing, you are likely calling the thought back in a repetitive way, just by becoming preoccupied with it. Consider this, we sometimes create random, meaningless residue as Dr. Martin Seif and Dr. Sally Winston refer to the detritus that our brain sometimes create as “junk thoughts” Most of these are just that – junk. The more energy you put into it, the likelier you are creating a neural pathway for that thought. You are making it obsessive, and it will repeat the more you think about it. You can see where this may be going. Sometimes these thoughts are simply a way the brain communicates a sign that there might be something else wrong in your life . The thoughts often bubble up from the unconscious and, like dreams, may be full of symbolism, not to be interpreted literally. Yet, there may be a message there. Then again, it may just be junk. Regardless, don’t obsess about it. HSPs and Intrusive Thoughts Are HSPs more likely than non-HSPs to have intrusive thoughts? That is an intriguing question with no definitive answer. The fact that HSPs tend to be deep processors of thoughts and that we are sometimes emotionally reactive, it would seem the ingredients are there for this type of thinking. HSPs can be more anxious, with the antecedent being unconscious anxiety bubbling up into consciousness. HSPs that are more inclined to depression may also have problems with rumination or running thoughts repeatedly as a form of self-punishment or negative self-talk. Does that mean all HSPs will have this problem? No, but for HSPs with a history of trauma, OCD or depression may have more trouble with these recursive thoughts simply because we are wired for deep processing. We tend to have a more substantial internal monologue, including inner discourse about ourselves, our lives, and our relationships with the world. This self-talk is not a bad thing in itself, but without testing externally these ideas spawned by our self-talk, we may get looped in erroneous thinking. Bad dialogue can get driven down into the unconscious with repetition and can be served up again as intrusive thoughts. Do we need to control intrusive thoughts? Not really. As was stated previously, the less we dwell on these thoughts, the better. They come and go and releasing them as they come into awareness is probably your best strategy. Recognize that it is nearly impossible to control all your thoughts . It is not just about mindfulness either; if you try to suppress these thoughts or any thought mindfully, you will likely only bring it back. Think about being told not to think about something – what do you wind up thinking about? Yup. Only become concerned if they turn into an obsession. Likely this is related to some other matter, perhaps the beginning of a problem or the continuance of an ongoing issue, generalized anxiety, depression, or obsessive-compulsive issues that need professional attention. Like most HSPs, we tend to keep our internal house (our mind) safe, clean, and habitable. We live there a lot and having something weird pop into our minds unexpectedly can be exasperating. Recognize and see intrusive thought for what it is – a fleeting thought, a mere firefly of the mind. Like a firefly in hand, observe for a moment, release your grip, and let the thought go, flying away into the darkness. Please share your thoughts in the comment section.  |
AuthorBill Allen currently lives in Lutz, Florida. He previously lived in Bend, Oregon. He is a certified hypnotist and brain training coach at BrainPilots.com. He believes that male sensitivity is not so rare, but it can be confounding for most males living in a culture of masculine insensitivity which teaches boys and men to disconnect from their feelings and emotions. His intent is to use this blog to chronicle his personal journey and share with others. 
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