 A Blog about Sensory Processing Sensitivity from the Worldview of a High Sensing Male
Like many Highly Sensitive People, I often ask a simple question, “What’s wrong with the word Sensitive?” I mean, it’s a word with multiple meanings, but the one that we home in is the one that tells the story of our lives. Unfortunately, it is the one-word trait that is more often than not used in the pejorative to describe our nature that is either abhorred or tolerated by less sensitive folks. We live in a culture that values emotional detachment, stone-cold decision making, logical, warrior-like capabilities that seem so distant from the core behaviors of the clan of highly sensitive people. Our culture views sensitivity as a weakness, a lack of discipline, control, or maturity. An unfair and false assessment, if there ever was one. This judgment is especially hard on HSP males, who already have difficulty with the trait in lieu of expectations the culture sets for masculine behavior. Technically our trait is called sensory processing sensitivity, which is tied directly to environmental sensitivity theory. It embraces the notion that environmental sensory sensitivity is expressed on a spectrum from high to low. The term sensory processing sensitivity is a mouthful but sounds much more palatable than just plain “sensitive.” Yet, here we are, almost thirty years after Dr. Aron coined the term highly sensitive persons, and we still struggle with the concatenation of that sensitive moniker. Sensitive men struggle with the brand. Stacked up against their non-HSP peers, it does make them seem to be, well, less masculine. But, what does sensitive really mean? We know the term has multiple meanings, but why do we choose the most degrading definition. We need to do some serious renovation on how the term sensitive is used, dig a little deeper and put some fine points on the explanation of the term to truly capture the complex nature of high sensitivity and reframe the meaning. Definition of Sensitive As stated above, the definition of sensitive in Webster’s is multi-tiered. I’m not going to recite the definition verbatim but will recap the main descriptions. The first definition is as an adjective referring to SENSORY. That’s it, one word - sensitive is a sensory-based term. So far, so good. The second definition states that sensitive is receptive to sense impressions. Again, good. That makes everyone sensitive. The third definition starts to get to the heart of the matter; highly responsive or susceptible to a) easily hurt or damaged – especially emotional hurt. Or b) delicately aware of attitudes and feelings of others. Now notice the keywords – hurt, damaged, and delicate. Not exactly how I’d like to be described when I say that I am sensitive. When we move to the noun definitions, we get: 1) a person having occult or psychical abilities. Or, and here it is 2) a sensitive person. Nowhere is the definition describing sensory processing sensitivity, not even like - one with the personality trait of sensory processing sensitivity. So when you have a word that describes over a billion people on the planet and no specific description of them or accounting of them in the dictionary, that’s why we have a problem with the word sensitive. Even in the Urban Dictionary, there isn’t a clear definition of the popular cultural definition of sensitive that accounts for HSPs. Yet, all HSPs are aware of the stigma that goes with the term sensitive, as it is popularly used to describe people with HSP characteristics. For example, we are often seen as emotionally weak, neurotic, or drama kings or queens. As for HSP males, we are seen as effeminate, ineffectual, and often self-absorbed and odd. None of this, of course, is true. I sometimes think we are often framed by the least sensitive people by these worst possible definitions simply because they cannot see, hear, feel, smell, and taste the world the way we do. Their ignorance drives the narrative about who we are. Their impatience with our deep processing ways exceeds their capacities to value our thoughtfulness. Their lack of empathy causes their name calling, and their largely extraverted ways do not tolerate our need for solitary solace. So this lower twenty percent, although more adaptable, yet less environmentally sensitive, are calling the shots…for now. Reframing the word “Sensitive” It’s not likely that we will be able to rename the trait to something that describes us in better ways. We are too far down the road for that. And, I do not, repeat, do not fault Dr. Aron for her choice of words. It was a command decision at a point in time, it fit, and she went with it. And that is what we have to work with. We can make the term more acceptable within the HSP community first. We have to have a definition that is empowering and something we can all get behind. The challenge is creating either a derivative of sensitive or perhaps developing a description that evokes the gifts and a certain degree of positivity to the word without losing the original intention depicting a highly sensitive person. The new sub definition of sensitive should be focused on strong words that imply the strengths and sensitivity of HSPs that suggest giftedness and normality. For HSP men, associating these positive descriptors will help in allowing more HSPs men to embrace the trait when seen in the light of its positive attributes. We almost need a collective push to get that idea out there. How to make the word more palatable. The next step is to socialize the new definitions to the masses. I like Dr. Tracy Cooper’s idea of metaphorically describing high sensitivity to a finely tuned measuring device. It reinforces the precision in which we sense the world yet implies a quirkiness that often occurs in such finely tuned tools as finicky but very environmentally sensitive. The upside and the downside go together, with the downside needing a bit more attention, but knowing that it does not negate the worth of the tool. By socializing such metaphors and descriptions, we can teach the strong traits of HSPs and their practical use to society (as implied by our evolutionary purpose). We can then build acceptance within the non-HSP audience. Most importantly, we need to empower HSP men to feel good about the term considering the definition limitations of present masculinity. And, with that, HSP men need to own the word sensitive and proudly speak of it. Addressing the sensitivity deniers There will always be those who deny that highly sensitive is a personality trait, often referring to it as a splash of common disorders. Even among the scientific community, there are doubters. Nevertheless, we can only do what we can do by planting seeds based on the emerging validating science. Looking at the spectrum of sensitivity, we should move forward educating the top 20 percent of the population that are HSPs. This group will be the low-hanging fruit. It may be necessary to convince even some of our own about the trait and sell them on its positives. The challenges within the trait are there too. We need to educate and train HSPs on coping and living with high sensitivity, showing them there is a benefit to being an HSP. It’s hard to realize the gift when you are constantly fighting fires. Next, we move to the big middle – the hump in the bell curve—the big 60 percenters. The upper 30% of that population will be the most like us, and I think they will be most open to accepting the trait in others and to some degree within themselves. So this group, together with us, represents the upper 50 % of the environmental sensitivity spectrum. This is where the greatest work will be done – acceptance of terminology and the trait. And the reframing of sensitive. The next 30 percent of the spectrum is on the downslope of the curve. We may be able to make some inroads here, but as the curve slopes downward, we will not receive complete acceptance, but we can convince some with persistence. Then, finally, the lower 20 percent. I think this will be a waste of time. We may never be able to convince them of the science, they see the world from their own lens, and it likely has no tolerance for highly sensitive people. Let them go. We should use metaphors and analogies to explain the trait in reaching out to others. For those that can comprehend the science, feed them that too. We can mix, match, and develop parables that everyone can relate to in describing who we are and why we are designed this way. Acceptance comes from understanding. Since language is the currency here, precise and uniform terms are important. That’s why I believe reinventing the term sensitive is less likely than reframing. Finally, realize this is going to take some time. Maybe a long time. Perhaps, generations to let the message sink in. Share with the young first. We are helping shape opinions for the next generations. This effort may seem trivial, but it’s important not only for HSPs but for humankind. Well, now the cat’s out of the bag, we don’t get do-overs… The cat is out of the bag, and the horse is out of the barn as the sayings go. Coming up with other terms may be difficult, and I’m not sure after nearly thirty years, we want to do a reset on the base term. Then, perhaps, new names will arise and be cast for the trait as more research is made available. But, for now, let’s work with what we have. There is nothing wrong with the word sensitive. My short-term advice is to try not to be, well, sensitive about the word sensitive. And that includes me. We need to start showing some pride in the trait as a group. Be armed with facts and science to shield against taunts and doubters. Stay calm, and don’t let emotions run high. We can do this if our message is consistent and persistent. Please comment with your thoughts.
0 Comments
 A Blog about Sensory Processing Sensitivity from the Worldview of a High Sensing Male
I have been attracted lately to the Chinese philosophy of Taoism. Attributed to Lao Tzu, the Tao Te Jing, or the book of The Way, is a wise book that instructs its readers on how to live life in harmony and balance. It is a small book filled with paradoxes, carefully crafted wisdom, and cryptic metaphors. Still, the passages make sense at a very deep and spiritual level with careful consideration and thought. As an HSP, the teachings resonate with me, and I have been applying some of the key elements into my life. It is indeed a practice. Like Buddhism, Taoism is a philosophy of life more than a religion without deity or dogma. The Tao represents all that is, yet it is not a thing, more like a pervasive, all-encompassing energy, incomprehensible and mystical. Yet, Lao Tzu encourages us to keep an open mind, allow the Tao to flow through us, and let go of egoistic control. I believe there is value for highly sensitive people to connect to the spiritual side of life. I have noted below ten basic tenets of Taoism from the Tao Te Jing, which with practice can become a part of a philosophy to live by. There is no need to abandon your current religious or spiritual practice as the Tao is versatile either as a philosophy or a spiritual practice. I have borrowed much from an online post by Kyle Kowalski at Sloww.co . Props to him for compiling this list. Here are the ten principles from Taoism to bring to your life.
Understanding the source of all that is, is an overwhelming feat. Life too often overwhelms us with its myriad challenges and obstacles. Learning to be connected with the Tao is a life lesson that enables one to “just be.” In a world of doers, letting go to “just be” is a remarkable acknowledgment that you don’t have all the answers on your own. The wisdom you seek is within the Tao.
The Taoist philosophy can be practiced without relinquishing your existing spiritual beliefs. On the surface, the writings appear to be obtuse and paradoxical, mysterious, and yet accessible for those who allow the flow to occur. For HSPs, self-reflection, solitude, peace and harmony, and the idea of “being” not “doing” seem natural for our personalities. The key to following the Tao is not to overthink the readings, let go of control, and learn to be in the flow. Like flow, it’s hard to describe, but once started on that path, it becomes easier and easier to grasp. In my view, it’s a perfect practice for our highly sensing, thoughtful, and spiritual natures. Please comment with your thoughts.  A Blog about Sensory Processing Sensitivity from the Worldview of a High Sensing Male
In this article, I’m going to have some fun with prefixes. None of the words I’ll be talking about currently exist. Likewise, there is no evidence that any of the derivations of sensitivity exist or have been identified and named. This word exercise is just some experimental fun in word creation. Who knows, maybe someday these descriptors will be a thing. Please take this in the same spirit it is offered. In the past, I have described the various levels of sensitivity. (see Blog) The idea that sensitivity falls on a spectrum has gained traction lately with the Flower Metaphor. To quickly summarize, those individuals with the highest levels of environmental sensitivity are classified as Orchids, corresponding to the particular environmental requirements that Orchids thrive in. Next, we have Tulips, a hardier plant representing the vast middle of the sensitivity spectrum. Finally, we have the Dandelions, the least environmentally sensitive individuals, yet the sturdiest. But can we get even more granular than that? Yes, I think, with a little imagination, we can delineate even more types of sensitive folks. So take this commentary for what it is, part tongue in cheek and part quasi-scientific. The Broader Spectrum of Sensitivity In this post, we continue to elaborate on the sensitivity spectrum. Sensitivity applies to all humans. It is a human characteristic. To be more precise, we term high sensitivity at the top end of the sensitivity spectrum, the top twenty percent of the range. Can we account for some deviations of sensitivity not yet named? Does that add more gradation points on the spectrum? Using common prefixes and attaching them to our base word of sensitive, can we fine-tune even further the sensitivity curve to account for some uncommon types of sensitivity? Let’s see. How about the term – Asensitive? According to Webster’s the use of the a- prefix turns the term it precedes into not or without {term}. In the case of our exercise, would an asensitive person not be sensitive? Or could it be a highly sensitive person who removes themselves from the environment so as not to be sensitive? These individuals might be sensitive averse. They might display avoidant behavior to overwhelm, overstimulation, or withdraw simply to avoid too much sensory stimulation. How would you describe an asensitive person? What about the term Unsensitive? This term is not to be confused with insensitive, also called rude or cold. An unsensitive person would be, according to our word building lexicon, a person who would be the opposite of a sensitive person. It could mean the person was removed from being sensitive or ceased to be sensitive. For example, would a narcissistic person be unsensitive? Would an unsensitive person be described as thick-skinned? As opposed to the thin-skinned, highly sensitive person? Is an unsensitve person less focused on others (agentic) and a sensitive person more communally focused? Would unsensitive persons be genetically predisposed to being less empathetic? Does unsensitive correspond to the term unempathetic? What do you think? Could there be a term like Dis-sensitive? If so, what would be the difference between an unsensitive person and one that is dissensitive? One distinction might be that unsensitive people can be negatively sensitive and sometimes even hypersensitive as long as the stimulus is directed directly to them or about them. For example, even narcissists can be sensitive to criticism. Yet unsensitive people are still not able to be empathetic to others. The dis- or dys- prefix added to our term sensitive would imply that deprivation of sensitivity might be at play. Or perhaps a deliberate or constructed absence of sensitivity. Dissensitive people might be unaffected by their sensitivity either by mental health issues or sometimes a type of personal choice to simply not show any sensitivity to the environment, perhaps because of an extreme environmental upbringing. Kind of an artificial boundary issue in the extreme. And finally, what the heck would auto sensitive be? Here’s one we could have a lot of fun with. Adding auto to our root word might make this person self-taught on sensitivity or imply some type of automatic behavior regarding sensitivity. This might be someone who has learned to be sensitive beyond their normal place on the spectrum, hypersensitive or even highly sensitive. This individual may not normally be highly sensitive but uses elevated sensitivity to garner attention because it creates a reaction. Or maybe they have histrionic personality disorder, and it appears they are extremely sensitive to everything. Or is this even possible? Okay, so this little exercise has been fun. As more research comes out about sensory processing sensitivity, we’ll learn more about the trait and even some of the differentiation patterns. It may add even more granularity to the spectrum and cast light on deviations of normal sensitivity. Perhaps some words/terms will be used, but with more refinement. It may never look exactly like this or even at all, but I do believe at some point, we will start to see more detailed typology within the HSP community. What other terms might you use in describing sensitivity? Jot them down in the comments section. Please share your thoughts in the comment section.  A Blog about Sensory Processing Sensitivity from the Worldview of a High Sensing Male
At some point in your life, divorce will touch you. It could be you, a friend, a family member, or even your parents. Divorce touches us all. Because HSPs feel more deeply, this can mean that we can be more impacted by strong emotions and the adverse effects of couple breakup and may leave lasting impressions on us. I have been divorced twice in my life and know how this impacted my children and me. It can create a sense of failure, inadequacy, or even great guilt if your actions hurt someone else. I wanted to touch on this, especially with and for HSPs, because divorce has become so common. It makes me think that the old romantic ideal of one love, one marriage, and the lifelong commitment to that notion is becoming archaic. Should we be looking now at a new model for coupling relationships? How does this impact HSPs? HSPs and Love Dr. Elaine Aron, noted for her work with HSPs and defining the trait, is also with her husband, Arthur Aron, considered one of the leading authorities on love. Divorce is regarded as a significant stressor event in a person's life. Emotions run the gamut from disappointment, fear, anger, a sense of failure, and rage. The feelings can be quite intense in HSPs going through split-ups. Dr. Aron cautions us first to understand the difference between love and attachments. The is a key distinction because love is an attraction to someone that is strong and deep and causes you to want to be near them, understand and know them fully, and help them as much as possible. Attachments form when others meet a need, forming an instinctual bond. The key differentiator is that we always create attachments to people we love, but we don't always love the person we are attached to. The attachments are the sticky glue that binds us to people even when the initial reason for bonding is departed. Because shame and guilt are often twin shadows lurking in and around divorces, these strong emotions often impact HSPs more because of our psyches' self-reflecting and self-deprecating nature. HSPs are always finding ways to hang on to responsibility to others and often overlook our needs. The guilt and shame of the relationship often land on our shoulders. HSPs being the conscientious souls that we are, often are the least likely of the couple to end the relationship, even if it is in our best interest. In addition, because we are less impulsive, we don't always rush out of relationships to seek other alternatives; therefore, we dig in and try to hold on to the relationship we know. HSPs are naturally good partners because of our loyalty, our cognizance of the state of the relationship, our tendency towards deeper love, and establishing deep meaning in the relationship. Yet, one of our greatest weaknesses may be our avoidance of conflictual emotions, which may spur avoidance behavior which is not always healthy in a dynamic relationship. Is the divorce rate in HSPs greater, lesser, or about the same? Yet, even with that, HSPs don't appear to have a greater tendency towards divorce than non-HSPs. I feel that we value the comfort of a relationship, belonging, and having a significant other, more so than the pursuit of a replacement, which is often a difficult and taxing process for HSPs. We will endure a painful and turbulent relationship to avoid the inevitable uncomfortable divorce. But does that make us more difficult to love? Does our partner have to guess more about what's ticking inside us? Both good and bad. Could that lead to more choppy waters for HSP relationships, even if the immediate outcome is not divorce? How do HSPs/HSS personalities do in matters of love? And what about the HSP wildcard, the High Sensation Seeking (HSS) HSP? These individuals tend to look for novelty in life, albeit with a cautious HSP nature. Could this impact relationships for those HSS/HSPs that may easily be bored? Does boredom alone lead to divorce? Dr. Aron has suggested that HSPs are prone to boredom in relationships, but does that necessarily drive them to divorce? Not necessarily. At this point, there isn't enough research on HSS/HSPs and divorce to draw any kind of conclusion. We can step out on a limb and say it might suggest a greater tendency towards disinhibition and higher boredom susceptibility. HSS/HSPs might experiment with behaviors that would lead to extra-marital affairs. We know that this type of behavior is a leading cause of divorce. Handling divorces and the strong emotions and separation. A divorce is a high-stress event. On the Life Change Index, it ranks just below Death of a Spouse as the highest source of stress in one's life, with Marital Separation following closely behind. As mentioned before, the high-stress emotions surrounding divorce make navigation separations and divorces some of the most difficult life challenges anyone can face. HSPs, by their nature, will likely amplify these emotions making divorce a difficult and turbulent situation for highly sensitive souls. If we as HSPs are in this situation, it is important to remember not to overwhelm ourselves with feelings of guilt and shame. If your partner is the source of this, be sure to set boundaries and work on your self-esteem. Protect yourself from unrelenting attacks from your partner if they are acting like a wounded animal. Realize that you are not perfect and that no one is. If you caused the pain, the rift, or the split, own your part and be honest for your reasons. It is never easy for an HSP to hurt someone they have loved or are in a relationship with. We often own the burden for life's imperfections, even if we have no way to control them. It is our nature to protect those dear to us, even at our own expense. Most importantly, the stigma of divorce is less today than it used to be. If you find you are in an uncomfortable, unworkable relationship, and you have done all that you can manage to work through the problems, then leave with your head up, knowing that you did your best. Sometimes, love leads us into impractical relationships for nothing more than a biochemical high. When that fades, we see through the veneer to sometimes untenable foundations. This is always an individual decision, weighing up the costs and the benefits of the relationship. No one benefits if you are miserable, admit the mistake and move on. Patch up where you can and consider the fallout to the family. It's never simple. I've never known a no-fault divorce nor a divorce as easy as tearing up a contract and walking away. What is the future of marriage? According to research, the trends around marriage and family suggest that more adults live in non-traditional living arrangements, more children live in single-parent homes, there is a lowering in fertility rates and increases in older populations. Increases in cohabitation have occurred, the divorce rate is rising, and more changes in gender roles. Marriage is being postponed to a later time in life, if at all. Many things can be speculated about these trends. However, I suspect that we are moving towards a time when parochial reasons for marriage are waning. Aside from property ownership and full spousal benefits, marriage may be declining because it has become an archaic institution. The premise of marriage and creating a family in the past generally have required certain gender-based rules about roles and responsibilities. Today, the gender role issue is fully on fire, and I suspect that within a generation will aid in architecting a new form of marriage. Which indeed may be more fluid due to the liquidity of our modern lives. In today's world, marriage must survive the stressors of working couples, finances, sexual boredom, gender roles and responsibilities, and of course, raising children. Where this leads is anyone's guess. Wherever it goes, HSPs will be in the thick of it. We may need to adapt our lifestyles, love, and relationship styles to match the changing form. This may be challenging for many HSPs, although I suspect we will manage just fine. Although "love and marriage, don't always go together, like a horse and carriage," love will always endure. Some of us are serial lovers, some are serial monogamists, while others are strict monogamists bound for life, while a few opt for the celibate life. Good luck with your love choices. Please share your thoughts in the comment section. The Sensitive Man – Crossing the Point of No Return- Violence in America, How HSPs Can Help12/5/2021  A Blog about Sensory Processing Sensitivity from the Worldview of a High Sensing Male
January 6, 2021, was a landmark day in American history. For the first time since 1812, the Capitol of the United States was stormed by violent protestors, armed to the teeth, and determined to plunder, stop the business of Congress, and even kill lawmakers. As the insurrection investigation continues, it is sure to reveal that this was not a moment of random insanity but rather a well-planned and orchestrated coup attempt by right-wing militia to overthrow the government. The striking thing about this was not the stated intent of this group of malcontents, but the degree that they would execute their cause using aggressive and violent means, including the murder of congresspersons and the Vice President of the United States. That common citizens would use violence to further a cause punctuates how desperate Americans seem to want affect change. Every day across the country, random acts of violence manifest in shopping malls, grocery stores, parking lots, schools and our highways. To look at this objectively and non-politically requires one to take the acts as a whole, a sociological phenomenon that continues to peak fueled by social media, irresponsible political pundits, and the media's obsession with broadcasting this as if it were a sporting event. The question begs to be asked, have we lost our ability or capacity to be appalled at the human abuse taking place all around us? Have we lost the ability to suppress our violent rages and appeal to our greater selves? Or is something else at play here? Hostilities and anger Where is this rage coming from? Given we are a divided and polarized society – politically, socio-economically, and ethnically. Do these divisions cause the anger that we see tearing our society apart? This hostility feels like something new, rage to violence amongst normal everyday citizens. Often with no remorse and with intent to do physical harm. Like raging a four-year-old with no emotional regulation, the anger and violence is now condoned as vigilantism, the right to carry military-grade weapons on the street, and the willingness to breach societal norms about restrictions on violence and retaliation. This is now turned epidemic in nature and is something we all should be very concerned about. When you hear calls from people on the left to take arms, you know the violence is going too far. Inhibition to violence When humans go beyond the normal restraints on violence to others, the descent into chaos and anarchy is close behind. We have moved beyond self-defense and protection to aggressive violence attacking the "other" intent on solely harming. It seems purgative, and the release of rage is hair-trigger and unpredictable. Although overall crime numbers are coming down over the last decade, the incidence of violent hate crimes is going up dramatically. These crimes fall along the lines of race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, and religion. Political leaders and authorities within the society remain either neutral, passive, or worse, outright encouraging, sometimes egging on the masses. With this approval, the disinhibition continues towards a violent means to an end that is not clear. This all is an offshoot of unbridled anger and appeals to lesser emotions. It's as if society has become intoxicated with self-righteous indignation that manifests in violent acts. What's wrong with our amygdala's? The human amygdala is responsible for controlling our brains' flight or fight response. To some extent, its interaction with other brain areas to activate specific responses seems to be stuck in the on position for determining aggressive fight response as of late. An overactive amygdala rewired by trauma can often lead to behaviors associated with psychological disorders. The amygdala reacting to visual and sound inputs can overact to potential threats, creating a gut, knee-jerk response that can lead to violence. And yes, it can get stuck. Have we reached a point of no return? Not to be dire, but HAVE we reached a point of no return? What is causing this triggering mechanism to fire, continually sending out waves of an overreaction? Is it just political rhetoric, social media, or reaching a point of no return? Is there any way to get this under control without a violent revolution? As a culture and as a species, we are at a pivot point. The world is too small; it moves too fast to ignore this. We can tear ourselves apart or start patching up the human body politic and start the healing necessary to allow us to continue and one day to thrive again. This is no small matter, and the task is great. Highly sensitive people can be those great healers the world needs. How can we help? How HSPs can help Many things can be done, all things that HSPs excel at. But, if HSPs are the cautionary and wise ones that nature has provided humanity to sense and suss out the problems, what exactly can we do to help this situation? Here are some suggestions.
Conclusion HSPs are naturally suited to being peace givers. We are driven towards harmony and balance. This natural energy can be channeled and needs to be taught to our more violence-prone brothers and sisters. We need to teach today's children how to cope with feelings of anger and frustration, with techniques that have helped us deal with the same problems. We need to bring the pipe of peace, be the bearers of the light and understanding. We also need to understand that this is a long-term fix and will not happen overnight. Some of us will have to step out into the fray to break the cycle—no riding the fences on this one. Join peaceful protests, and don't let the anger tempt you to violence. Protect yourself, but always believe there is a peaceful solution first. Please share your thoughts in the comment section.  A Blog about Sensory Processing Sensitivity from the Worldview of a High Sensing Male
Whatever you think about your body weight, one thing is clear, almost everyone at some time can say they feel they need to lose weight. I have a medium-boned frame, and I was packing about twenty pounds of extra weight earlier this year. That made getting into clothes problematic and looked bad on me. I have been thin most of my life, but as I aged, I gained weight via the usual suspects: too much food, too much drink, and too little exercise. Of course, being a desk jockey didn't help either. I had lost weight before and remembered what a chore it was. I wasn't looking forward to the process but was eyeing the results in my imagination. This motivated me to pull out the ol' weight loss routine and begin to reshape my body. During the several-month process, I learned a few things about myself and my relationship with food and my body. Here are five things I discovered. #1 – I felt my body again. Now I don't know the scientific mechanism here, but as I began to lose weight, I began to "feel" my body again. As the fat burned off, the underlying muscle began to stick out, and as I moved either in exercise or just in simple movements, I felt like I was aware of my body again. Perhaps, adding layers of fat prevents us from feeling the muscles tighten and contract, but I distinctly remember this feeling from the last time I lost weight. It was a pretty good feeling; clothes fit better, I looked better in the mirror, which was surprisingly effective in motivating me to continue the diet. My best barometer for weight loss was not the scales but rather the way my clothes fit. Feeling the extra room in my pants was an immediate reinforcer. This put me back in touch with the sensory elements of my body in a positive way. The many nerve endings, constantly passing feedback to my brain, kept me ever mindful as the weight slowly but steadily melted away. It helped anchor me again in the physical and reminded me I am also made of flesh and blood. #2 – I became mindful of the food I ate. One of the things I would remind my former hypnosis clients when they requested weight loss hypnosis was that they still needed to be mindful of the food they ate. It is important to remember to think about eating food and what our motivation is for eating. So often, we eat without thinking, habitually binging food, mindlessly eating, not thinking of the calories or quantity of the food we consume. All too often, it is a mindless exercise in self-medication to eat without awareness. Before you know it, you have consumed calories that your body doesn't need. To keep me on track, I used Livestrong's My Plate app to help track my daily caloric intake to ensure I ate my caloric goals for the day. Tracking the food forces, you to be mindful. Like any habit, it takes time and repetition to form the practice of mindfulness. However, it helped me mind the calories as well as the nutrition. The act of keying in the food for the day, although initially a pain, proved to slow me down enough to think before and after food intake. As the weight came off, which is an inherent payoff, the tedious task of tracking food began to have a purpose. I knew that if I hit my daily goals, I would lose pounds by the end of the week. It worked. Most importantly, it kept me mindful of not overeating. I began to feel satiated more easily, my mind rewarded me with a dopamine hit when I stayed in bounds, and my body rewarded me with fat-burning weight loss. I began to appreciate food in a new light. It wasn't about quantity, but rather the quality, and I felt the difference. #3 – What I learned from the hunger. In the beginning, I felt hunger pangs. For me, that always served as a cue to grab something to eat, to quell the growling - fill-up the grumbling gut and refocus on my tasks. But with weight loss, we have to look at this process differently. I heard a lot about intermittent fasting, where you only eat during certain hours and then fast the remainder. So I thought I'd give it a try. Part of my regimen was to stop eating at 8 pm and not eat again until around noon. This initially caused hunger, especially in late morning, but I pressed on and was able to go 14-16 hours without eating within a short time. During the last few hours of the fast, I began to appreciate the hunger for food. I realized that hunger was not always a bad thing. I could feel my stomach (the internals), and it felt good to be hungry and be in charge. I knew that being hungry was not necessarily a nutritional deficit; rather, my stomach was now not bloated with food. I felt lighter, more aware of the spiritual aspects of the physical. It began to be a cue not for running to the kitchen but rather to sit in my hunger and feel the emptiness of my stomach. It helped me turn inward. Often, I would drink more water and, after a glass, would feel less hungry. Feeling the water travel down your gullet to your stomach is quite an experience. We seldom realize the difference between our appetites and our need for nourishment. Living in a country where food is plentiful makes it easy to lose sight of what true hunger is and how we take for granted the ease with which we can procure food. Hunger by appetite is a never-ending satiety game, while hunger by nourishment needs is a completely different and conscious endeavor. #4 – I found a new relationship with food and understood why I ate so much before. I ate a lot to quell disappointments or feelings of depression. A cookie or a sweet would momentarily trigger-happy emotions and seem like the antidote for feeling alone or sad. I did this way too often but was unaware of the Stimulus > Trigger > Response mechanism occurring unconsciously. It was a roller coaster. After the treat, the inevitable sugar high, then crash, which would set off another round in the chain. As I started losing weight, I noticed I avoided sugary foods. If you avoid sugar-laced food for a while, you begin to recognize how overly sweet our confections are. I also saw the mood swings planed off, and I felt a more level stream of emotion. I took food out of the happiness equation and saw that food was no longer a drug or product to self-soothe. Reframing food to mean nutritional needs helped elevate my mood naturally. I still enjoy the taste of food, exploring savory spices, or some light sweet flavors now and again. As my father used to say, "everything in moderation." I began to enjoy meals and healthy snacks and enjoyed the taste of food, savoring flavors I would often overlook before. I slowed down my eating, enjoying each bite, not rushing to inhale the food to get back to other distractions. #5 – I proved I could reach my goals. Lastly, I proved to myself that I could reach my goals. Other goals not involved with my body are relatively easy for me; things I can accomplish quickly are not so difficult. Yet goals that require patience, persistence, and the slow churn of day-to-day compliance are more challenging. Weight does not fall off quickly but comes off at a snail's pace. But persistence, coupled with daily rewards (nonfood), kept me at it until I reached my goal and even surpassed it. For an HSP, the rewards, physical, mental, psychological, and egotistical, are quite enjoyable. I was truly proud of myself for reaching my goal. Conclusion For some, weight loss is a dreaded chore. For others, it is a life and death matter. The battle with food and excess weight is largely a mental one that presents in physical form. Much of weight loss is not about the food but the emotional rewards of feeding oneself and the external and internal sensory stimulation. This is taken to the extreme when food is plentiful and easily had. The reminders of cookies at grandma's, ice cream for chores, better times, or a distraction to life become a feign attempt at self-love. It is hard to relinquish all those emotions we tie to food. Like Pavlov's dog, we salivate at the thought of food. Before you attempt to lose weight, work on the mental part as a prelude to a diet. Find ways to reward yourself with nonfood items. Enlist support with your medical providers, your family, and friends. At first, it may seem impossible, but if you focus on the journey day by day, let the goal take care of itself, you will find a feeling of peace in the mindfulness you learn about food, yourself, and your relationship with pleasure. It can be done. Trust the process, trust yourself and be healthy. Please share your thoughts in the comment section.  A Blog about Sensory Processing Sensitivity from the Worldview of a High Sensing Male
As much as we try to portray in the most positive of lights the trait of Sensory Processing Sensitivity (SPS), there is a dark side of the trait that those with SPS are very familiar with. No, it’s not sinister nor evil in that sense of darkness, but it does often cast some shade into the lives of highly sensitive people. Sensitivity is not all about goodness and light. HSPs cannot always be about accommodating the needs of others, being kind, thoughtful, and unselfish. Sometimes we need to be selfish, and sometimes that can be confounding to others, and some might say, ugly. Most HSPs know the side of which I am speaking. The darkness of mood, an almost self-indulgent need to be alone, can sometimes make us appear as prima donnas or divas or just plain arses. This can materialize when emotions go unregulated and allowed to manifest, like bats on the wing. As people who live a considerable amount of time inside our mental worlds, we often leave the outside world out on what is happening deep within. As a result, complex emotions, deep thinking, sometimes rumination can leave us depleted, confused, angry, or bitter, and the world sees the worst side of us. What is the dark side of high sensitivity? It has been noted that HSPs are prone to depression. We are inclined to this in both mild and extreme forms. The way we perceive things, process too much sensory data inputs, and sometimes overstimulation coupled with our ability to deep process this data can lead us to some pretty dark places within our psyche. Our need to be alone often can reinforce this darkness in the absence of reliable external sources to refute the thoughts that carry us downward. Our need to think ourselves through this, make it right, and often go it alone. We can be pretty selfish with our alone time, sometimes even being negligent to others or allowing it to get ugly with those who don’t understand. This leaves us isolated, frustrated, not fitting in, and feeling misunderstood. Very often, we suppress normal but uncomfortable emotions to please others. If the emotions are conflictual or confusing, we can bury them to get along. Unfortunately, this suppression of emotion can lead to a host of other mental health issues: depression, anxiety, stress, and physical health-related problems. Many HSPs have been socialized to believe that strong emotion is not appropriate behavior and that dealing with emotion should remain stoic and hidden. All this does is negate our true selves, repress our strong feelings, and destroy confidence and self-esteem. This also can lead to resentment. One of the most common HSP emotions is that of anxiety. Not sure of who we are or how we fit in, HSPs can become overly anxious about everything from physical appearance, to performance, to social activity and anything that puts our often-hidden selves front and center to the world. We can become anxious about how the world perceives us and how we best function in it. Social anxiety is a real thing for us. And can affect profoundly if and how we interact with the world. Moodiness, ah, moodiness. Because we often hide our real feelings until we can’t, the change in mood leaves many surprised, hurt, or angered by our sea change of emotions. To the outside world, this is the dark, mysterious world of sensitivity. The world sees this as problematic, leaving us to feel guilty for finally expressing our deepest emotions. This guilt has a dark side to it because we feel disconnected and abnormal. The world sees us a drama kings or queens. Then there is repressed anger, then explosiveness- perhaps, one of the most noticeable emotions is anger suppressed, then released explosively. It catches others off guard, usually unprepared for such an outburst. Usually seen by the world as meek and mild, an HSP who has reached a boiling point can be quite surprising when anger is unleashed. It surprises us HSPs, too. Not always cathartic, it can leave us embarrassed, apologetic, and feeling guilty for showering the stored anger at an unsuspecting recipient. Showing our human side, good and bad, can be troublesome for introspective HSPs. How we see it. We often see our moodiness or feelings as defects- because of the external negative feedback we get from our family, friends, and peers. It can be embarrassing to watch our moods change like floodwaters sweeping down across our life’s landscape. The anxiety we experience can be a roadblock to our growth. In the absence of externalizing our feelings, thoughts, and ideas, we miss the opportunity to share our deep thoughts. But, fear of criticism or non-reciprocation leaves us suspicious of fully participating in life. This fear is very real and is our invisible barrier towards the outside world. Our anxiety is our signal, our warning to be cautious in the extreme. We feel guilty about the moodiness once it has passed, but it may make us wary about expressing emotion later for fear of alienating others. As a result, society disfavors those with mood swings. The anger, once surfaced, leaves us feeling incompetent and apologetic for having expressed such intense feelings. This creates a loop of further suppression, which is not healthy. How the world sees us. Let’s face it, sometimes the world sees us as perpetrators of drama because of the cycle of on and off again emotion. But, unfortunately, in our culture, intense feeling is equated with manipulation or lack of discipline. Our need for decompression is seen as being socially dysfunctional. We are seen as social snobs or, worse, weird isolates who shun human contact. When told about our need for downtime, we are just told to soldier on. The world is confused about who we are and why we function the way we do. Perhaps, rightfully so. The word needs to get out wide and far about high sensitivity – the obvious gifts and the sometimes unfortunate drawbacks. Because the outside world cannot see our internal workings, they often try to control us or fix us. Dealing with the dark side. Emotional suppression is seldom a winning strategy. Learning to regulate emotions appropriately for the moment is the name of the game. Regulation is not suppression. Channeling the emotions, dealing with the intensity, calming the mind and body will go a long way to helping HSP emotional draws. Be more transparent to the extent that you allow the outside world to know what you are dealing with on the inside. Find sympathetic companions who understand. Stand unafraid in your sensitivity. Learning to deal with your comfort zone is very important and can be useful in coping with anxiety. The work is expansion, not jettisoning your ego to far-off worlds outside of your protective bubble. It’s there for a reason, but not to cage you. Grow it, and your life will grow, and the anxiety will drop. Learn to retreat for downtime gracefully. Explain to family, friends, and those around you the physiological and constitutional reasons you need rest. There is no need to apologize for this; it’s who you are and what you need. Do it without apology. Follow up and learn as much about SPS as possible to help educate others and create a welcoming environment for you and other HSPs. Remember, all emotions/moods will pass. Ride the wave like a surfer. It may be uncomfortable, but you can get the hang of it. Learn to eat the right way for HSPs, for your body. Rest (whatever your requirements are), learn brain training, mindfulness, or meditation to help your brain be more resilient. Take care of your body as well as your mind. Finally, if you are depressed or if anxiety is debilitating, seek out professional help. Some things are bigger than you. Do not be ashamed of getting the assistance you need. Conclusion There is a duality with high sensitivity. With the intensity of sensory data, emotion, and passion comes the darkness of overstimulation, overwhelm, moodiness, and emotional reactivity. Do not despair; the trait is nonetheless a great gift that nature has outfitted you with. Regardless of the hazards and obstacles we encounter, the darkness will always fade into the light with care. Unfortunately, we are never taught early enough in life to regulate our feelings, but there are many techniques, tools, and practices that can help with the roller coaster life sometimes places us upon. Learn them and apply them and teach them to other HSPs. Please share your thoughts in the comment section.  A Blog about Sensory Processing Sensitivity from the Worldview of a High Sensing Male
In previous blogs, I have repeatedly stated that I think we often get too hung up on qualities surrounding gender, what is masculine and feminine. Instead, let us emphasize the importance of being human first. Being human first supersedes the gender designations culture applies to us and allows us to be more flexible and expansive in how we allow ourselves to be defined. The Zulu of Africa have a concept related to humanness called Ubuntu. Ubuntu is a term meaning humanity, roughly translated as “I am because you are.” It is a definition of personhood as reflected by others. An ideal that shares a collective humanity in recognizing the individuality and uniqueness of others as part of a universal community. Being human is being you, and being you is being part of everyone else. This is so important today because we have fallen prey to a collective aspiration of self-centered culture. The media and social media see ego-centric individualism as heroic and noble. Moreover, the age-old concept of hegemonic masculinity, which places the individual, largely men, but women, too - in a place of domination has largely created the state of the world we see. The exploitation of others, exploitation of the planet, and unbridled greed have led us to a near brink of destruction. Today, it is more important than ever to see the world as a collective, a place where we all depend on each other, and our survival depends on the survival of the species. We need now more than ever a form of reciprocal altruism to be our defining goal. Reciprocal altruism is a biological concept that offers that an individual will act in a way that temporarily reduces its fitness while increasing another organism’s fitness, hoping that the favor will be returned at some point. I don’t see the wrong in a conscious act that benefits you if you also benefit another. Indeed, it is an act of enlightened self-interest, that which promotes you promotes me. A lofty goal, to say the least. How do we put the brakes on our current situation and start focusing on our collective self-interest? I think it begins by emphasizing the humanity in all of us. That we as individuals are human first and the other labels, we attach to ourselves become secondary. That one link that connects us to all humanity is our humanness. What does it mean to be human? Being human first and foremost, can be a virtue. It embodies human love and compassion towards our fellows and the planet as a whole. It arises from recognizing our uniqueness as a stand-alone human and the necessity of needing the other members of our species as a prerequisite to survival. The importance of largely human strengths of love, kindness, and social intelligence adds to our humanity. We have often abandoned these attributes in favor of hate, greed, and exploitation for personal reward. Being human can also be expressed on an individual level, towards ourselves as well as to others. By embracing the universal human qualities encapsulated as masculine and feminine, we individually can balance and employ the traits that we all possess as humans. On a cultural and societal level, we can express our humanity as a collective hive expression. What we prioritize and what we fund is what we are. There has always been an age-old debate of what being a human means. Philosophy often mires the discussion with intellectualism. They are offering hopeless arguments with little real-world application. Can we globally define humanity – simple and elegant and easily grasped by everyone? More than just a moral or philosophical definition but is fully able to express what humans can do. Balance is key, striving towards the best traits and managing the negative ones. We are upholding our positive attributes: our ability to communicate complex and abstract thought with language, using our bigger brains imaginatively to create change for good; our ability to express our essence via art, music, and the written word, our ability to show proactive kindness, the ability to understand each other and the ability to link our minds in unparalleled ways. We can distinguish ourselves from others and yet recognize the other as our own. We embrace spiritual concepts that transcend our physical reality. But the most important feature maybe this idea of Ubuntu. Why not try to be human first. What would happen if we embraced our humanness in ways that were complimentary to each other and ourselves? How might this change us as individuals and societally? Could we learn to move past tribalism and individualism and become more humane to ourselves, our fellow humans, and the world we are a part of? We start by raising our children to embrace their humanity first by showing them the common connections between themselves and all humans. Quit assuming divisive labels that sequester groups as good or bad. We first recognize that we are a constellation of many stars, each unique and worthy of our own light and part of the greater galaxy and universe of collective potential. We must understand that the human genome can include all of us and yet express itself in a seemingly infinite number of ways. We teach this to our children young, and then they grow up respecting themselves and others. Embrace the individual and support the collective. Herein lies the balance. Why gender definitions may aid in this transition. For too long, the dominant gender expression has been that of hegemonic masculinity. The exploitative form of masculinity that subordinates women, children, people of different races, non-heterosexual men, or less aggressive men promotes the idea of domination and aggressive and violent behavior to others who do not measure up to this definition of manhood. As Francesca Maria Morettini states, “Hegemonic masculinity, therefore, produces far-reaching effects on society, harming social equality and human development.”. Furthermore, she continues, “hegemonic masculinity affects international relations, domestic politics, military practices, education and sport; corporate governance and the emergence of transnational business masculinities…”. Gender roles are generally defined by the culture we are raised in. However, gender identity is a much more complex process involving genetics, hormonal influences, gene regulation in brain cells, and societal factors such as family and culture. There is pressure to conform to societal norms. The idea of being human first is to not norm gender to a preconceived standard but to eschew cultural gender identity to allow the individual to find their spot along a continuum of being human. This is not to say we discontinue being male or female. Rather, it means this becomes secondary to becoming human first, identifying with the individual’s humanity, which can be expressed in many ways. I believe the LGBQT+ community is leading the idea of gender fluidity and non-binary gender ids. If we embrace the idea that we are all human, as many indigenous people have, we allow ourselves to be fully human first. Conclusion The earth is not self-destructing. It is humans that are destroying humans and the habitat that we survive in. We HSPs are, in my opinion, being called to help warn and instruct on this self-destructive pattern that we humans have been taking. I believe it can be done, but it is not a task for the faint-hearted. It is an intergenerational task, one that will take many years. We can start by keeping things simple yet broadly defining the tasks ahead. One of the major tasks is the notion of creating Ubuntu in the world. Without it, I am afraid we will continue down a path that we won’t escape, nor will our children or our grandchildren and beyond. It requires vision, insight, and empathy: compassionate human intuition and thoughtful logic. Convincing the world will be difficult, but it starts as always at the individual level. Changing our view of our humanness is essential. We must be human first. Remember Ubuntu. Peace. Please share your thoughts in the comment section.  A Blog about Sensory Processing Sensitivity from the Worldview of a High Sensing Male
Others may see downtime for HSPs as Idleness, laziness, or inactivity for no purpose. But is that true? Do we HSPs often fight our need for rest because of cultural norms? Can we model purposeful rest and rejuvenation for health for others? We are slaves to a culture of doing. Our Puritan work ethic praises the incessant devotion to work activity and "always-on" engagement to fight the devil's idleness workshop. We have been bombarded throughout history with the virtue of combating sloth. From literature to religious admonishment to capitalist concepts of self-worth via work accomplishment, we are chided never to rest, always striving to be productive. Dante's Divine Comedy slams lazy and idle people and places them on the fourth level of purgatory. Even one of my childhood favorites, Daniel Defoe's Robinson Crusoe, sets a man in an island paradise only to find him endlessly toiling away to improve his situation. Human beings are not designed to be working 24/7 365. Our natural rhythms require that we rest and process both physical and mental inputs. Our need for sleep and rest is baked into our physical makeup. Downtime gives our brains the respite it needs to replenish our attention. The reflective time is used to rejuvenate our identity, fire up the DMN (default mode network), and spawn life-altering epiphanies from unconscious mental downtime. Having worked for years in Information Technology, I learned that the expectation from management was that we mimic the incessant work virtue of the machines we managed. This unrealistic expectation has been birthed from the attention economy that demands our focus always and is in its own way a revival of the ancient and archaic notions of God's punishment for original sin. The health consequences of lack of rest are high stress, inadequate sleep, and full-on engagement has begotten a myriad of illness and disease. We are killing ourselves over this capitalist-driven obsession with doing. Be active, be productive, be valuable. We forget that most religions of the world have origins in the ancient knowledge of being vs. doing. It is the modern world that has driven us astray. Idleness and HSPs So how does this affect HSPs? We have the same programming that all humans have for rest and relaxation with one key distinction. We can't ignore our internal clocks for rest. We are compelled inherently and by environmental factors to take downtime to function properly. Or we suffer immediate critical overwhelm and overstimulation. Our brains are wired differently. Some of the areas within our brains used to modulate or moderate overstimulation have weaker connections. This could be one of the main reasons we suffer from overwhelm. And, our need for rest is not a bad thing. Research suggests that engaging in pleasurable activities not related to goals leads to more happiness in life. Idleness, as it has been referred to, is actually a virtue for HSPs. We have no choice. Overworking, overstimulation, or overwhelm, however, you phrase it, shuts us down. Many may see this as a weakness, but we are like the canary in the coal mine. A toxic environment full of overwork, stress, and lack of rest, will eventually fail for all humans. Therefore, I believe that HSPs can provide a working model for everyone on handling, dealing, and defeating overwork. Moments of quiet reflection and contemplation have been lauded by the ancients and indigenous peoples around the world. However, the modern world looks down on reflective rest as not contributing to the bottom line and not delivering on productivity. Oddly, sleep studies of indigenous people show that their sleep patterns are more in sync with their modern counterparts and not dusk to dawn, we assume. Yet, sleep is not the same as rest. Rest can occur without sleep, and this, I believe, is the missing element in our modern world. Without proper rest, HSPs shut down. Nature has designed HSPs as models for humanity on what enough work/stress looks like in the extreme. Granted, our highly sensing natures may make us seem unable to cope with modern stress, but when you are designed to be the warning system, it is better to blow the whistle earlier than later when it becomes too late to repair. Ways to execute on Idleness
While we are at it, is it time to redefine what work is? The employer, not the employee, has always defined labor. We need to get back to the idea of letting this be a cooperative process a return to the labor movement. This strategy does not have to be combative. There should be shared goals reached by incorporating each side's stated goals with the company's overarching goal. Larger than that, we need to define this at a global level, a societal level. What boundaries exist or need to be determined between work and rest, stress and relaxation, stimulation and overwhelm. Let's reframe rest/idleness to equate with how we feel about nourishment, recreation, vacation, and balance these with the right livelihood, productivity, and work/life balance. Conclusion The health consequences of not resting are monumental. Ancient cultures did not fall apart if time was taken for feasts, rests, and relaxation. Look at the animal kingdom; aside from short life-spanned creatures that must struggle from birth to death, higher-order animals find time to rest and digest and, as humans, have the luxury of relaxing and reflecting. Our larger, more active brains need the rest. Since we know from research that our brains are never off, we must allow ourselves to rest from stress and from constant conscious engagement "doing" stressful activities. The virtue of Idleness is life, peace, and, when correctly done, happiness. We wrongly equate "always on" culture to moving society forward. But what kind of a world does it produce? Advanced, yet toxic? Is that what we want? I know HSPs don't want that. Why? Because we are the canaries. Please share your thoughts in the comment section.  A Blog about Sensory Processing Sensitivity from the Worldview of a High Sensing Male
HSP’s experience deep thoughts and deep emotions that sometimes are difficult to express in common language. Because we sense the subtle nuances in our environments, there is often a problem of not having the right nomenclature to express these thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Since language is our primary means of expressing these memes, HSPs being the creative souls that they are, find novel ways to use language for describing the difficult. It is part of our creativity that we would find ways to express ourselves with literary tools (figures of speech) such as similes and metaphors associating two or more things that are not normally related but could, by comparison, be similar. Likewise, HSPs can use poetic language to deliver nuanced information about complex concepts – a way of deciphering meaning to our complex world. Let’s look at a few of these devices. Similes Similes are figures of speech used to compare items using comparison words such as: like, as, so, or than. The comparisons made with similes are usually a more direct comparison and are often used much like personification (attributing human characteristics to animals or things). For example, “the fox was as crafty as a village thief.” The use of this figure of speech is straightforward, direct, and easy to follow. Similes are often used in literature and comedy, where a direct comparison may make more sense. It might be easier to use a simile in everyday speech than an elaborate or flowery metaphor to make a point. HSPs make use of this device to convey an object comparison more than deep meaning emotion. Metaphors Metaphors are used for rhetorical effect comparing things directly as well, but may provide additional clarification and subtle information at a secondary level. The word metaphor comes from Greek, meaning to transfer or carry over. That would imply meaning is passed over from target to source. from one object to the other. Sonja K. Foss describes metaphors as “nonliteral comparisons in which a word or phrase from one domain of experience is applied to another domain.” Metaphors require more work and can be deep and beautiful or hard, simple, and clean. Metaphors can contain more emotional content, which would include the nuanced world of information HSPs sense. It adds depth and dimension to idea exchange and added strength to this business of conceptual comparison. Often there is implied meaning beneath the metaphor, much like a layered cake, each layer adding definition related to the whole but able to stand alone if needed (by the way, that was a simile). For example, if someone was described – stormy and cold, that could mean that perhaps they are moody or destructive or unfeeling. Thus, the description carries a depth of meaning, which we might associate with a thing such as a storm. In many ways, that depth can be interpreted slightly differently by the individual sharing the information and the individual receiving the information. This is what makes using metaphors so much fun in writing. The metaphor eases the description of the target by moving something abstract towards something more concrete. So, for example, something that is conceptual can be described in everyday terms, which are easily grasped to help explain the more challenging concept. I enjoy a well-written metaphor. They delight the imagination and will resonate with me when I read them, as I am sure many HSPs do as well. Other literary devices: Alliteration The repeating sounds of alliteration are sensorily soothing and, although not commonly used as much anymore, would instill a meditative feel to a written piece. Thus, it is often used in poetry, rhyme, and lyrics. Alliteration is the conspicuous repetition of consonant sounds in closely placed syllables. For example, most famously, in the nursery rhyme, “Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers….” It may seem trite now, but if done well has a lyrical quality to it and has a consonant resonance. Hyperbole Hyperbole is a device used to exaggerate an idea or concept. It is often used to exaggerate a grievance (“your snoring is killing me”) because it is typically so emotionally fueled. When used in comedy or satire, it is never to be taken seriously but realizing that it is an outlandish expression, it blows something out of proportion for emphasis. It is often used in advertising, poetry, and literature. We use this so often in everyday speech that we are almost unconscious of its use. HSPs may use this to express a complaint by using an over-the-top expression to convey frustration. Euphemism A euphemism is a replacement word or expression. It typically replaces an offensive or potentially offensive word or phrase with something more innocuous. It’s cleaned up language to mask often words that are considered vulgar or not to be used in polite company. Perhaps the king of the swear words is fuck, often converted to freak, frig, frick, fudge, eff, or f-word. Euphemism can be used as understatement, substitution, metaphor, or slang. Wherever the language police congregate, you will find euphemism. Because HSPs are generally more empathetic to the sensibilities of others, we often make use of this technique to keep a conversation palatable. Onomatopoeia Onomatopoeia is an odd-sounding word for a device used to create a word to describe the sound phonetically that something makes or to resemble that sound. We often use this when describing animal sounds or loud noises, i.e., moo, cluck, meow, bang, boom, etc. This figure of speech is used most commonly with children’s books, in comics, cartoons, and advertising. It’s great for kids, which they find fun, but generally used sparingly. It’s great to match sound with meaning, with a word. Parody Although not technically a figure of speech, I like using parody to lampoon something or characterize something that, although serious, can be made fun of with satire or spoofing. In written form, it has ancient roots, going back to the Greeks, but this device can be found in music, film, and poetry. This is the great friend of those who either secretly admire something or find humor in mocking something. Some of the great parodies in film are those films by Mel Brooks or Monty Python. In music, I’m thinking of Weird Al Yankovic. When I was sixteen in Chemistry class way back yonder, I wrote a parody of Alexander Pope’s Rape of the Lock, called Ode to a Commode. It was written in the same style, different topic, but it was essentially a parody of a parody. “Oh, thou unheralded porcelain chair, nestled there in tiled lair….” I thought it was clever, but it is now lost forever. It is a lazy writer’s device but may be the sincerest form of flattery in many ways. It does take some creativity to execute. Maybe the HSP sense of subtlety helps here. Pun Puns are great word puzzles that intelligent people like to play with groanable results. The greater the groan, the greater the achievement. It is wordplay that exploits and teases out the multiplicity of meaning that words often have and creates a humorous side effect. They are derived in multiple ways, by using homophonic words (similar sound different meanings) within a phrase, homographic words (words that are spelled the same but have different meanings), or homonymic (words that share the same spelling and sound). The fun never stops as clever stylists mix and match and dig for the best or worst puns. George Carlin was a master at this, and on the visual side, so was Gary Larsen of the Far Side comics. These devices are all interesting in their own right (write- pun?), make language colorful, and aid in communicating nuanced and emotional language. They are not just for writing but are useful in everyday speech. What type of mind is required to excel with these devices? I believe an observant mind, thoughtful and deep, one that can associate word meanings with feelings and emotions. A mind that can draw on memory to help create these word associations. A mind like HSPs possess. What type of other literary devices do you use or believe would be commonly used by HSPs to describe their world? Please share your thoughts in the comment section. |
AuthorBill Allen currently lives in Lutz, Florida. He previously lived in Bend, Oregon. He is a certified hypnotist and brain training coach at BrainPilots.com. He believes that male sensitivity is not so rare, but it can be confounding for most males living in a culture of masculine insensitivity which teaches boys and men to disconnect from their feelings and emotions. His intent is to use this blog to chronicle his personal journey and share with others. 
Archives
December 2021
Categories
All
|
RSS Feed