 A Blog about Sensory Processing Sensitivity from the Worldview of a High Sensing Male
Whatever you think about your body weight, one thing is clear, almost everyone at some time can say they feel they need to lose weight. I have a medium-boned frame, and I was packing about twenty pounds of extra weight earlier this year. That made getting into clothes problematic and looked bad on me. I have been thin most of my life, but as I aged, I gained weight via the usual suspects: too much food, too much drink, and too little exercise. Of course, being a desk jockey didn't help either. I had lost weight before and remembered what a chore it was. I wasn't looking forward to the process but was eyeing the results in my imagination. This motivated me to pull out the ol' weight loss routine and begin to reshape my body. During the several-month process, I learned a few things about myself and my relationship with food and my body. Here are five things I discovered. #1 – I felt my body again. Now I don't know the scientific mechanism here, but as I began to lose weight, I began to "feel" my body again. As the fat burned off, the underlying muscle began to stick out, and as I moved either in exercise or just in simple movements, I felt like I was aware of my body again. Perhaps, adding layers of fat prevents us from feeling the muscles tighten and contract, but I distinctly remember this feeling from the last time I lost weight. It was a pretty good feeling; clothes fit better, I looked better in the mirror, which was surprisingly effective in motivating me to continue the diet. My best barometer for weight loss was not the scales but rather the way my clothes fit. Feeling the extra room in my pants was an immediate reinforcer. This put me back in touch with the sensory elements of my body in a positive way. The many nerve endings, constantly passing feedback to my brain, kept me ever mindful as the weight slowly but steadily melted away. It helped anchor me again in the physical and reminded me I am also made of flesh and blood. #2 – I became mindful of the food I ate. One of the things I would remind my former hypnosis clients when they requested weight loss hypnosis was that they still needed to be mindful of the food they ate. It is important to remember to think about eating food and what our motivation is for eating. So often, we eat without thinking, habitually binging food, mindlessly eating, not thinking of the calories or quantity of the food we consume. All too often, it is a mindless exercise in self-medication to eat without awareness. Before you know it, you have consumed calories that your body doesn't need. To keep me on track, I used Livestrong's My Plate app to help track my daily caloric intake to ensure I ate my caloric goals for the day. Tracking the food forces, you to be mindful. Like any habit, it takes time and repetition to form the practice of mindfulness. However, it helped me mind the calories as well as the nutrition. The act of keying in the food for the day, although initially a pain, proved to slow me down enough to think before and after food intake. As the weight came off, which is an inherent payoff, the tedious task of tracking food began to have a purpose. I knew that if I hit my daily goals, I would lose pounds by the end of the week. It worked. Most importantly, it kept me mindful of not overeating. I began to feel satiated more easily, my mind rewarded me with a dopamine hit when I stayed in bounds, and my body rewarded me with fat-burning weight loss. I began to appreciate food in a new light. It wasn't about quantity, but rather the quality, and I felt the difference. #3 – What I learned from the hunger. In the beginning, I felt hunger pangs. For me, that always served as a cue to grab something to eat, to quell the growling - fill-up the grumbling gut and refocus on my tasks. But with weight loss, we have to look at this process differently. I heard a lot about intermittent fasting, where you only eat during certain hours and then fast the remainder. So I thought I'd give it a try. Part of my regimen was to stop eating at 8 pm and not eat again until around noon. This initially caused hunger, especially in late morning, but I pressed on and was able to go 14-16 hours without eating within a short time. During the last few hours of the fast, I began to appreciate the hunger for food. I realized that hunger was not always a bad thing. I could feel my stomach (the internals), and it felt good to be hungry and be in charge. I knew that being hungry was not necessarily a nutritional deficit; rather, my stomach was now not bloated with food. I felt lighter, more aware of the spiritual aspects of the physical. It began to be a cue not for running to the kitchen but rather to sit in my hunger and feel the emptiness of my stomach. It helped me turn inward. Often, I would drink more water and, after a glass, would feel less hungry. Feeling the water travel down your gullet to your stomach is quite an experience. We seldom realize the difference between our appetites and our need for nourishment. Living in a country where food is plentiful makes it easy to lose sight of what true hunger is and how we take for granted the ease with which we can procure food. Hunger by appetite is a never-ending satiety game, while hunger by nourishment needs is a completely different and conscious endeavor. #4 – I found a new relationship with food and understood why I ate so much before. I ate a lot to quell disappointments or feelings of depression. A cookie or a sweet would momentarily trigger-happy emotions and seem like the antidote for feeling alone or sad. I did this way too often but was unaware of the Stimulus > Trigger > Response mechanism occurring unconsciously. It was a roller coaster. After the treat, the inevitable sugar high, then crash, which would set off another round in the chain. As I started losing weight, I noticed I avoided sugary foods. If you avoid sugar-laced food for a while, you begin to recognize how overly sweet our confections are. I also saw the mood swings planed off, and I felt a more level stream of emotion. I took food out of the happiness equation and saw that food was no longer a drug or product to self-soothe. Reframing food to mean nutritional needs helped elevate my mood naturally. I still enjoy the taste of food, exploring savory spices, or some light sweet flavors now and again. As my father used to say, "everything in moderation." I began to enjoy meals and healthy snacks and enjoyed the taste of food, savoring flavors I would often overlook before. I slowed down my eating, enjoying each bite, not rushing to inhale the food to get back to other distractions. #5 – I proved I could reach my goals. Lastly, I proved to myself that I could reach my goals. Other goals not involved with my body are relatively easy for me; things I can accomplish quickly are not so difficult. Yet goals that require patience, persistence, and the slow churn of day-to-day compliance are more challenging. Weight does not fall off quickly but comes off at a snail's pace. But persistence, coupled with daily rewards (nonfood), kept me at it until I reached my goal and even surpassed it. For an HSP, the rewards, physical, mental, psychological, and egotistical, are quite enjoyable. I was truly proud of myself for reaching my goal. Conclusion For some, weight loss is a dreaded chore. For others, it is a life and death matter. The battle with food and excess weight is largely a mental one that presents in physical form. Much of weight loss is not about the food but the emotional rewards of feeding oneself and the external and internal sensory stimulation. This is taken to the extreme when food is plentiful and easily had. The reminders of cookies at grandma's, ice cream for chores, better times, or a distraction to life become a feign attempt at self-love. It is hard to relinquish all those emotions we tie to food. Like Pavlov's dog, we salivate at the thought of food. Before you attempt to lose weight, work on the mental part as a prelude to a diet. Find ways to reward yourself with nonfood items. Enlist support with your medical providers, your family, and friends. At first, it may seem impossible, but if you focus on the journey day by day, let the goal take care of itself, you will find a feeling of peace in the mindfulness you learn about food, yourself, and your relationship with pleasure. It can be done. Trust the process, trust yourself and be healthy. Please share your thoughts in the comment section.
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 A Blog about Sensory Processing Sensitivity from the Worldview of a High Sensing Male
As much as we try to portray in the most positive of lights the trait of Sensory Processing Sensitivity (SPS), there is a dark side of the trait that those with SPS are very familiar with. No, it’s not sinister nor evil in that sense of darkness, but it does often cast some shade into the lives of highly sensitive people. Sensitivity is not all about goodness and light. HSPs cannot always be about accommodating the needs of others, being kind, thoughtful, and unselfish. Sometimes we need to be selfish, and sometimes that can be confounding to others, and some might say, ugly. Most HSPs know the side of which I am speaking. The darkness of mood, an almost self-indulgent need to be alone, can sometimes make us appear as prima donnas or divas or just plain arses. This can materialize when emotions go unregulated and allowed to manifest, like bats on the wing. As people who live a considerable amount of time inside our mental worlds, we often leave the outside world out on what is happening deep within. As a result, complex emotions, deep thinking, sometimes rumination can leave us depleted, confused, angry, or bitter, and the world sees the worst side of us. What is the dark side of high sensitivity? It has been noted that HSPs are prone to depression. We are inclined to this in both mild and extreme forms. The way we perceive things, process too much sensory data inputs, and sometimes overstimulation coupled with our ability to deep process this data can lead us to some pretty dark places within our psyche. Our need to be alone often can reinforce this darkness in the absence of reliable external sources to refute the thoughts that carry us downward. Our need to think ourselves through this, make it right, and often go it alone. We can be pretty selfish with our alone time, sometimes even being negligent to others or allowing it to get ugly with those who don’t understand. This leaves us isolated, frustrated, not fitting in, and feeling misunderstood. Very often, we suppress normal but uncomfortable emotions to please others. If the emotions are conflictual or confusing, we can bury them to get along. Unfortunately, this suppression of emotion can lead to a host of other mental health issues: depression, anxiety, stress, and physical health-related problems. Many HSPs have been socialized to believe that strong emotion is not appropriate behavior and that dealing with emotion should remain stoic and hidden. All this does is negate our true selves, repress our strong feelings, and destroy confidence and self-esteem. This also can lead to resentment. One of the most common HSP emotions is that of anxiety. Not sure of who we are or how we fit in, HSPs can become overly anxious about everything from physical appearance, to performance, to social activity and anything that puts our often-hidden selves front and center to the world. We can become anxious about how the world perceives us and how we best function in it. Social anxiety is a real thing for us. And can affect profoundly if and how we interact with the world. Moodiness, ah, moodiness. Because we often hide our real feelings until we can’t, the change in mood leaves many surprised, hurt, or angered by our sea change of emotions. To the outside world, this is the dark, mysterious world of sensitivity. The world sees this as problematic, leaving us to feel guilty for finally expressing our deepest emotions. This guilt has a dark side to it because we feel disconnected and abnormal. The world sees us a drama kings or queens. Then there is repressed anger, then explosiveness- perhaps, one of the most noticeable emotions is anger suppressed, then released explosively. It catches others off guard, usually unprepared for such an outburst. Usually seen by the world as meek and mild, an HSP who has reached a boiling point can be quite surprising when anger is unleashed. It surprises us HSPs, too. Not always cathartic, it can leave us embarrassed, apologetic, and feeling guilty for showering the stored anger at an unsuspecting recipient. Showing our human side, good and bad, can be troublesome for introspective HSPs. How we see it. We often see our moodiness or feelings as defects- because of the external negative feedback we get from our family, friends, and peers. It can be embarrassing to watch our moods change like floodwaters sweeping down across our life’s landscape. The anxiety we experience can be a roadblock to our growth. In the absence of externalizing our feelings, thoughts, and ideas, we miss the opportunity to share our deep thoughts. But, fear of criticism or non-reciprocation leaves us suspicious of fully participating in life. This fear is very real and is our invisible barrier towards the outside world. Our anxiety is our signal, our warning to be cautious in the extreme. We feel guilty about the moodiness once it has passed, but it may make us wary about expressing emotion later for fear of alienating others. As a result, society disfavors those with mood swings. The anger, once surfaced, leaves us feeling incompetent and apologetic for having expressed such intense feelings. This creates a loop of further suppression, which is not healthy. How the world sees us. Let’s face it, sometimes the world sees us as perpetrators of drama because of the cycle of on and off again emotion. But, unfortunately, in our culture, intense feeling is equated with manipulation or lack of discipline. Our need for decompression is seen as being socially dysfunctional. We are seen as social snobs or, worse, weird isolates who shun human contact. When told about our need for downtime, we are just told to soldier on. The world is confused about who we are and why we function the way we do. Perhaps, rightfully so. The word needs to get out wide and far about high sensitivity – the obvious gifts and the sometimes unfortunate drawbacks. Because the outside world cannot see our internal workings, they often try to control us or fix us. Dealing with the dark side. Emotional suppression is seldom a winning strategy. Learning to regulate emotions appropriately for the moment is the name of the game. Regulation is not suppression. Channeling the emotions, dealing with the intensity, calming the mind and body will go a long way to helping HSP emotional draws. Be more transparent to the extent that you allow the outside world to know what you are dealing with on the inside. Find sympathetic companions who understand. Stand unafraid in your sensitivity. Learning to deal with your comfort zone is very important and can be useful in coping with anxiety. The work is expansion, not jettisoning your ego to far-off worlds outside of your protective bubble. It’s there for a reason, but not to cage you. Grow it, and your life will grow, and the anxiety will drop. Learn to retreat for downtime gracefully. Explain to family, friends, and those around you the physiological and constitutional reasons you need rest. There is no need to apologize for this; it’s who you are and what you need. Do it without apology. Follow up and learn as much about SPS as possible to help educate others and create a welcoming environment for you and other HSPs. Remember, all emotions/moods will pass. Ride the wave like a surfer. It may be uncomfortable, but you can get the hang of it. Learn to eat the right way for HSPs, for your body. Rest (whatever your requirements are), learn brain training, mindfulness, or meditation to help your brain be more resilient. Take care of your body as well as your mind. Finally, if you are depressed or if anxiety is debilitating, seek out professional help. Some things are bigger than you. Do not be ashamed of getting the assistance you need. Conclusion There is a duality with high sensitivity. With the intensity of sensory data, emotion, and passion comes the darkness of overstimulation, overwhelm, moodiness, and emotional reactivity. Do not despair; the trait is nonetheless a great gift that nature has outfitted you with. Regardless of the hazards and obstacles we encounter, the darkness will always fade into the light with care. Unfortunately, we are never taught early enough in life to regulate our feelings, but there are many techniques, tools, and practices that can help with the roller coaster life sometimes places us upon. Learn them and apply them and teach them to other HSPs. Please share your thoughts in the comment section.  A Blog about Sensory Processing Sensitivity from the Worldview of a High Sensing Male
In previous blogs, I have repeatedly stated that I think we often get too hung up on qualities surrounding gender, what is masculine and feminine. Instead, let us emphasize the importance of being human first. Being human first supersedes the gender designations culture applies to us and allows us to be more flexible and expansive in how we allow ourselves to be defined. The Zulu of Africa have a concept related to humanness called Ubuntu. Ubuntu is a term meaning humanity, roughly translated as “I am because you are.” It is a definition of personhood as reflected by others. An ideal that shares a collective humanity in recognizing the individuality and uniqueness of others as part of a universal community. Being human is being you, and being you is being part of everyone else. This is so important today because we have fallen prey to a collective aspiration of self-centered culture. The media and social media see ego-centric individualism as heroic and noble. Moreover, the age-old concept of hegemonic masculinity, which places the individual, largely men, but women, too - in a place of domination has largely created the state of the world we see. The exploitation of others, exploitation of the planet, and unbridled greed have led us to a near brink of destruction. Today, it is more important than ever to see the world as a collective, a place where we all depend on each other, and our survival depends on the survival of the species. We need now more than ever a form of reciprocal altruism to be our defining goal. Reciprocal altruism is a biological concept that offers that an individual will act in a way that temporarily reduces its fitness while increasing another organism’s fitness, hoping that the favor will be returned at some point. I don’t see the wrong in a conscious act that benefits you if you also benefit another. Indeed, it is an act of enlightened self-interest, that which promotes you promotes me. A lofty goal, to say the least. How do we put the brakes on our current situation and start focusing on our collective self-interest? I think it begins by emphasizing the humanity in all of us. That we as individuals are human first and the other labels, we attach to ourselves become secondary. That one link that connects us to all humanity is our humanness. What does it mean to be human? Being human first and foremost, can be a virtue. It embodies human love and compassion towards our fellows and the planet as a whole. It arises from recognizing our uniqueness as a stand-alone human and the necessity of needing the other members of our species as a prerequisite to survival. The importance of largely human strengths of love, kindness, and social intelligence adds to our humanity. We have often abandoned these attributes in favor of hate, greed, and exploitation for personal reward. Being human can also be expressed on an individual level, towards ourselves as well as to others. By embracing the universal human qualities encapsulated as masculine and feminine, we individually can balance and employ the traits that we all possess as humans. On a cultural and societal level, we can express our humanity as a collective hive expression. What we prioritize and what we fund is what we are. There has always been an age-old debate of what being a human means. Philosophy often mires the discussion with intellectualism. They are offering hopeless arguments with little real-world application. Can we globally define humanity – simple and elegant and easily grasped by everyone? More than just a moral or philosophical definition but is fully able to express what humans can do. Balance is key, striving towards the best traits and managing the negative ones. We are upholding our positive attributes: our ability to communicate complex and abstract thought with language, using our bigger brains imaginatively to create change for good; our ability to express our essence via art, music, and the written word, our ability to show proactive kindness, the ability to understand each other and the ability to link our minds in unparalleled ways. We can distinguish ourselves from others and yet recognize the other as our own. We embrace spiritual concepts that transcend our physical reality. But the most important feature maybe this idea of Ubuntu. Why not try to be human first. What would happen if we embraced our humanness in ways that were complimentary to each other and ourselves? How might this change us as individuals and societally? Could we learn to move past tribalism and individualism and become more humane to ourselves, our fellow humans, and the world we are a part of? We start by raising our children to embrace their humanity first by showing them the common connections between themselves and all humans. Quit assuming divisive labels that sequester groups as good or bad. We first recognize that we are a constellation of many stars, each unique and worthy of our own light and part of the greater galaxy and universe of collective potential. We must understand that the human genome can include all of us and yet express itself in a seemingly infinite number of ways. We teach this to our children young, and then they grow up respecting themselves and others. Embrace the individual and support the collective. Herein lies the balance. Why gender definitions may aid in this transition. For too long, the dominant gender expression has been that of hegemonic masculinity. The exploitative form of masculinity that subordinates women, children, people of different races, non-heterosexual men, or less aggressive men promotes the idea of domination and aggressive and violent behavior to others who do not measure up to this definition of manhood. As Francesca Maria Morettini states, “Hegemonic masculinity, therefore, produces far-reaching effects on society, harming social equality and human development.”. Furthermore, she continues, “hegemonic masculinity affects international relations, domestic politics, military practices, education and sport; corporate governance and the emergence of transnational business masculinities…”. Gender roles are generally defined by the culture we are raised in. However, gender identity is a much more complex process involving genetics, hormonal influences, gene regulation in brain cells, and societal factors such as family and culture. There is pressure to conform to societal norms. The idea of being human first is to not norm gender to a preconceived standard but to eschew cultural gender identity to allow the individual to find their spot along a continuum of being human. This is not to say we discontinue being male or female. Rather, it means this becomes secondary to becoming human first, identifying with the individual’s humanity, which can be expressed in many ways. I believe the LGBQT+ community is leading the idea of gender fluidity and non-binary gender ids. If we embrace the idea that we are all human, as many indigenous people have, we allow ourselves to be fully human first. Conclusion The earth is not self-destructing. It is humans that are destroying humans and the habitat that we survive in. We HSPs are, in my opinion, being called to help warn and instruct on this self-destructive pattern that we humans have been taking. I believe it can be done, but it is not a task for the faint-hearted. It is an intergenerational task, one that will take many years. We can start by keeping things simple yet broadly defining the tasks ahead. One of the major tasks is the notion of creating Ubuntu in the world. Without it, I am afraid we will continue down a path that we won’t escape, nor will our children or our grandchildren and beyond. It requires vision, insight, and empathy: compassionate human intuition and thoughtful logic. Convincing the world will be difficult, but it starts as always at the individual level. Changing our view of our humanness is essential. We must be human first. Remember Ubuntu. Peace. Please share your thoughts in the comment section.  A Blog about Sensory Processing Sensitivity from the Worldview of a High Sensing Male
Others may see downtime for HSPs as Idleness, laziness, or inactivity for no purpose. But is that true? Do we HSPs often fight our need for rest because of cultural norms? Can we model purposeful rest and rejuvenation for health for others? We are slaves to a culture of doing. Our Puritan work ethic praises the incessant devotion to work activity and "always-on" engagement to fight the devil's idleness workshop. We have been bombarded throughout history with the virtue of combating sloth. From literature to religious admonishment to capitalist concepts of self-worth via work accomplishment, we are chided never to rest, always striving to be productive. Dante's Divine Comedy slams lazy and idle people and places them on the fourth level of purgatory. Even one of my childhood favorites, Daniel Defoe's Robinson Crusoe, sets a man in an island paradise only to find him endlessly toiling away to improve his situation. Human beings are not designed to be working 24/7 365. Our natural rhythms require that we rest and process both physical and mental inputs. Our need for sleep and rest is baked into our physical makeup. Downtime gives our brains the respite it needs to replenish our attention. The reflective time is used to rejuvenate our identity, fire up the DMN (default mode network), and spawn life-altering epiphanies from unconscious mental downtime. Having worked for years in Information Technology, I learned that the expectation from management was that we mimic the incessant work virtue of the machines we managed. This unrealistic expectation has been birthed from the attention economy that demands our focus always and is in its own way a revival of the ancient and archaic notions of God's punishment for original sin. The health consequences of lack of rest are high stress, inadequate sleep, and full-on engagement has begotten a myriad of illness and disease. We are killing ourselves over this capitalist-driven obsession with doing. Be active, be productive, be valuable. We forget that most religions of the world have origins in the ancient knowledge of being vs. doing. It is the modern world that has driven us astray. Idleness and HSPs So how does this affect HSPs? We have the same programming that all humans have for rest and relaxation with one key distinction. We can't ignore our internal clocks for rest. We are compelled inherently and by environmental factors to take downtime to function properly. Or we suffer immediate critical overwhelm and overstimulation. Our brains are wired differently. Some of the areas within our brains used to modulate or moderate overstimulation have weaker connections. This could be one of the main reasons we suffer from overwhelm. And, our need for rest is not a bad thing. Research suggests that engaging in pleasurable activities not related to goals leads to more happiness in life. Idleness, as it has been referred to, is actually a virtue for HSPs. We have no choice. Overworking, overstimulation, or overwhelm, however, you phrase it, shuts us down. Many may see this as a weakness, but we are like the canary in the coal mine. A toxic environment full of overwork, stress, and lack of rest, will eventually fail for all humans. Therefore, I believe that HSPs can provide a working model for everyone on handling, dealing, and defeating overwork. Moments of quiet reflection and contemplation have been lauded by the ancients and indigenous peoples around the world. However, the modern world looks down on reflective rest as not contributing to the bottom line and not delivering on productivity. Oddly, sleep studies of indigenous people show that their sleep patterns are more in sync with their modern counterparts and not dusk to dawn, we assume. Yet, sleep is not the same as rest. Rest can occur without sleep, and this, I believe, is the missing element in our modern world. Without proper rest, HSPs shut down. Nature has designed HSPs as models for humanity on what enough work/stress looks like in the extreme. Granted, our highly sensing natures may make us seem unable to cope with modern stress, but when you are designed to be the warning system, it is better to blow the whistle earlier than later when it becomes too late to repair. Ways to execute on Idleness
While we are at it, is it time to redefine what work is? The employer, not the employee, has always defined labor. We need to get back to the idea of letting this be a cooperative process a return to the labor movement. This strategy does not have to be combative. There should be shared goals reached by incorporating each side's stated goals with the company's overarching goal. Larger than that, we need to define this at a global level, a societal level. What boundaries exist or need to be determined between work and rest, stress and relaxation, stimulation and overwhelm. Let's reframe rest/idleness to equate with how we feel about nourishment, recreation, vacation, and balance these with the right livelihood, productivity, and work/life balance. Conclusion The health consequences of not resting are monumental. Ancient cultures did not fall apart if time was taken for feasts, rests, and relaxation. Look at the animal kingdom; aside from short life-spanned creatures that must struggle from birth to death, higher-order animals find time to rest and digest and, as humans, have the luxury of relaxing and reflecting. Our larger, more active brains need the rest. Since we know from research that our brains are never off, we must allow ourselves to rest from stress and from constant conscious engagement "doing" stressful activities. The virtue of Idleness is life, peace, and, when correctly done, happiness. We wrongly equate "always on" culture to moving society forward. But what kind of a world does it produce? Advanced, yet toxic? Is that what we want? I know HSPs don't want that. Why? Because we are the canaries. Please share your thoughts in the comment section.  A Blog about Sensory Processing Sensitivity from the Worldview of a High Sensing Male
HSP’s experience deep thoughts and deep emotions that sometimes are difficult to express in common language. Because we sense the subtle nuances in our environments, there is often a problem of not having the right nomenclature to express these thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Since language is our primary means of expressing these memes, HSPs being the creative souls that they are, find novel ways to use language for describing the difficult. It is part of our creativity that we would find ways to express ourselves with literary tools (figures of speech) such as similes and metaphors associating two or more things that are not normally related but could, by comparison, be similar. Likewise, HSPs can use poetic language to deliver nuanced information about complex concepts – a way of deciphering meaning to our complex world. Let’s look at a few of these devices. Similes Similes are figures of speech used to compare items using comparison words such as: like, as, so, or than. The comparisons made with similes are usually a more direct comparison and are often used much like personification (attributing human characteristics to animals or things). For example, “the fox was as crafty as a village thief.” The use of this figure of speech is straightforward, direct, and easy to follow. Similes are often used in literature and comedy, where a direct comparison may make more sense. It might be easier to use a simile in everyday speech than an elaborate or flowery metaphor to make a point. HSPs make use of this device to convey an object comparison more than deep meaning emotion. Metaphors Metaphors are used for rhetorical effect comparing things directly as well, but may provide additional clarification and subtle information at a secondary level. The word metaphor comes from Greek, meaning to transfer or carry over. That would imply meaning is passed over from target to source. from one object to the other. Sonja K. Foss describes metaphors as “nonliteral comparisons in which a word or phrase from one domain of experience is applied to another domain.” Metaphors require more work and can be deep and beautiful or hard, simple, and clean. Metaphors can contain more emotional content, which would include the nuanced world of information HSPs sense. It adds depth and dimension to idea exchange and added strength to this business of conceptual comparison. Often there is implied meaning beneath the metaphor, much like a layered cake, each layer adding definition related to the whole but able to stand alone if needed (by the way, that was a simile). For example, if someone was described – stormy and cold, that could mean that perhaps they are moody or destructive or unfeeling. Thus, the description carries a depth of meaning, which we might associate with a thing such as a storm. In many ways, that depth can be interpreted slightly differently by the individual sharing the information and the individual receiving the information. This is what makes using metaphors so much fun in writing. The metaphor eases the description of the target by moving something abstract towards something more concrete. So, for example, something that is conceptual can be described in everyday terms, which are easily grasped to help explain the more challenging concept. I enjoy a well-written metaphor. They delight the imagination and will resonate with me when I read them, as I am sure many HSPs do as well. Other literary devices: Alliteration The repeating sounds of alliteration are sensorily soothing and, although not commonly used as much anymore, would instill a meditative feel to a written piece. Thus, it is often used in poetry, rhyme, and lyrics. Alliteration is the conspicuous repetition of consonant sounds in closely placed syllables. For example, most famously, in the nursery rhyme, “Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers….” It may seem trite now, but if done well has a lyrical quality to it and has a consonant resonance. Hyperbole Hyperbole is a device used to exaggerate an idea or concept. It is often used to exaggerate a grievance (“your snoring is killing me”) because it is typically so emotionally fueled. When used in comedy or satire, it is never to be taken seriously but realizing that it is an outlandish expression, it blows something out of proportion for emphasis. It is often used in advertising, poetry, and literature. We use this so often in everyday speech that we are almost unconscious of its use. HSPs may use this to express a complaint by using an over-the-top expression to convey frustration. Euphemism A euphemism is a replacement word or expression. It typically replaces an offensive or potentially offensive word or phrase with something more innocuous. It’s cleaned up language to mask often words that are considered vulgar or not to be used in polite company. Perhaps the king of the swear words is fuck, often converted to freak, frig, frick, fudge, eff, or f-word. Euphemism can be used as understatement, substitution, metaphor, or slang. Wherever the language police congregate, you will find euphemism. Because HSPs are generally more empathetic to the sensibilities of others, we often make use of this technique to keep a conversation palatable. Onomatopoeia Onomatopoeia is an odd-sounding word for a device used to create a word to describe the sound phonetically that something makes or to resemble that sound. We often use this when describing animal sounds or loud noises, i.e., moo, cluck, meow, bang, boom, etc. This figure of speech is used most commonly with children’s books, in comics, cartoons, and advertising. It’s great for kids, which they find fun, but generally used sparingly. It’s great to match sound with meaning, with a word. Parody Although not technically a figure of speech, I like using parody to lampoon something or characterize something that, although serious, can be made fun of with satire or spoofing. In written form, it has ancient roots, going back to the Greeks, but this device can be found in music, film, and poetry. This is the great friend of those who either secretly admire something or find humor in mocking something. Some of the great parodies in film are those films by Mel Brooks or Monty Python. In music, I’m thinking of Weird Al Yankovic. When I was sixteen in Chemistry class way back yonder, I wrote a parody of Alexander Pope’s Rape of the Lock, called Ode to a Commode. It was written in the same style, different topic, but it was essentially a parody of a parody. “Oh, thou unheralded porcelain chair, nestled there in tiled lair….” I thought it was clever, but it is now lost forever. It is a lazy writer’s device but may be the sincerest form of flattery in many ways. It does take some creativity to execute. Maybe the HSP sense of subtlety helps here. Pun Puns are great word puzzles that intelligent people like to play with groanable results. The greater the groan, the greater the achievement. It is wordplay that exploits and teases out the multiplicity of meaning that words often have and creates a humorous side effect. They are derived in multiple ways, by using homophonic words (similar sound different meanings) within a phrase, homographic words (words that are spelled the same but have different meanings), or homonymic (words that share the same spelling and sound). The fun never stops as clever stylists mix and match and dig for the best or worst puns. George Carlin was a master at this, and on the visual side, so was Gary Larsen of the Far Side comics. These devices are all interesting in their own right (write- pun?), make language colorful, and aid in communicating nuanced and emotional language. They are not just for writing but are useful in everyday speech. What type of mind is required to excel with these devices? I believe an observant mind, thoughtful and deep, one that can associate word meanings with feelings and emotions. A mind that can draw on memory to help create these word associations. A mind like HSPs possess. What type of other literary devices do you use or believe would be commonly used by HSPs to describe their world? Please share your thoughts in the comment section.  A Blog about Sensory Processing Sensitivity from the Worldview of a High Sensing Male There has been a lot written about raising HSP children. Because they are more sensitive to criticism, the environment, and boundaries, what overarching principle should be in place to raise them? Under the right circumstances and environment, HSP children can thrive. In fact, under the right conditions, they outperform their peers in school, have lofty moral attitudes, have greater social competency, better self-regulation, and greater confidence and security. In my years of having my own business, BrainPilots, a neurofeedback and hypnosis coaching practice, the use of a particular type of neurofeedback system provides an interesting adjunct model to use on HSP children. It is a push/pull methodology. The tool, Neuroptimal™, uses EEG sensors to monitor the brainwaves of the individual's training, then pushes back feedback when the optimal learning opportunity occurs. Then it repeats and allows the client's brain to capture the anomaly in the brain and make its own correction. The assumption is that the individual's brain will autocorrect for the highest function in its own time and method. No guessing when to push instructions; just watch and feedback. It's an automated loop, and it works. Would this make a good method for raising HSP children? Let's see. Best practices for raising highly sensitive children. With the consequences so high in raising SPS children, what are some of the suggested best practices for raising HSP kids? First, we must acknowledge that raising a highly sensitive child is often challenging and can energetically be draining for the parent. This is a two-parent/partner project. Dr. Ted Zeff, In his book on raising highly sensitive boys (and this equally applies to HSP girls) that it important for men to be involved in raising HSP boys. Considering today, we have more same-sex couples, involving a trusted family member or friend of the opposite sex would be helpful for the HSP child to spell the primary parents if needed. It is important to not put the HSP child into situations where they can be humiliated or extremely uncomfortable, yet gently challenge them to learn by experience. Gentle discipline is very important in raising HSP children. Unfortunately, HSP children often internalize harsh criticism, and much can be achieved by explaining the discipline and toning down the emotion while disciplining an HSP child. Being aware of the environmentals for HSP children is key to understanding perplexing reactions from them. Loud, noisy, crowds, or environments where sensory overload is pronounced can affect the HSP child's behavior. Always remember that HSPs need alone time to recharge, revitalize and regroup. HSPs are perhaps the most environmentally sensitive of all humans. The proper setting is important for raising an HSP child. Just remember, HSP children are not all the same. Some are easier than others to raise, primarily because of the wide blending of personality traits that are shared with the HSP personality. Treat each child as an individual and learn who and what they are – more on that shortly. Perhaps the most important goal of raising a child is to develop a strong, confident self-image that will allow them to be who they are and enable them to live an authentic life, regardless of the challenges or obstacles. For HSPs, this can be a slippery slope. It all begins with acceptance. Help them to embrace the trait, however difficult that may be at times. By providing routines, calming respites from overload, emotional validation, guided self-exploration, and a celebration of their uniqueness, you will be providing a sound foundation for growth into adulthood. Studies have shown over and over that HSPs raised in a validating environment produce exceptional individuals. The converse environment has an especially egregious impact on emotional and behavioral development. Again, the environment is everything to HSPs. My model based on neurofeedback To add another layer to the above-mentioned HSP child-rearing methods outlined, I would like to add another suggestion for raising HSP children. This idea is based on my experiences working with clients in a neurofeedback or brain training environment. The model is based on how the neurofeedback loop works with Neuroptimal™ brain training. It is essentially a push/pull method, where the child tells the parent by their behavior and examples of what they are naturally drawn to, what to encourage in the child's development. This is the beginning of the feedback loop from the child to the parent. The parent must remain objective about the feedback, understanding that the child's developing personality sets foundational interests that should be encouraged. The child will also feedback the limits in which they can tolerate exposure to the new interests and reactions to the challenges. The parent then listens, observes the child, and provides guidance and necessary boundaries to provide a sense of safety and security. That is the push part of the model. The push is the continuation of the feedback loop. The child, receiving the feedback, recalibrates and adjusts, and provides more observational feedback to the parents. This is the pull part of the loop. The parents again listen, incorporates the aggregate feedback, and sends back guidance and boundaries. It is a continual dialogue between the child and the parent. The parent does not dictate to the child preset expectations but guides as the child explore their environment and the world. As with the aforementioned neurofeedback, the loop from parent to child is about awakening the child to the moment for best learning. The child, especially the HSP child, is not alone in navigating the world but is purposefully guided by an aware and present parent. This is a simple feedback loop but requires the following:
What does this mean to parents of HSP children? It means that as parents, we must acknowledge that we are dealing with a special child who has a keen sense and awareness of their environment and themselves. The methods employed in raising an HSP child will have lifelong consequences, perhaps, even beyond that of a less sensitive child. It behooves parents of HSP children that they allow the child to tell the parent who they are and to listen. But this requires diligence and guidance from the parent. You are still the parent, and the child will look to you for help in forming their ego/personality. Authenticity is very important to HSPs. Allowing the child to guide you as the parent in helping them find and become their authentic self is paramount in raising a happy, well-adjusted confident adult. Here's some good reading for Parents of HSP Children. Elaine Aron's book on raising highly sensitive children. https://www.amazon.com/Highly-Sensitive-Child-Children-Overwhelms-ebook/dp/B000FC1IJ0/ref=sr_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=hsp+children&qid=1630078377&sr=8-3 Dr. Aron's book on being an HSP parent. https://www.amazon.com/Highly-Sensitive-Parent-Brilliant-Overwhelms-ebook/dp/B07RB2ZQ5K/ref=sr_1_4?dchild=1&keywords=hsp+children&qid=1630078436&sr=8-4 Ted Zeff's classic on raising HSP boys. https://www.amazon.com/Strong-Sensitive-Boy-Ted-Zeff-ebook/dp/B004P5NVHA/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=ted+zeff&qid=1630078509&sr=8-1 Website for Parenting the Highly Sensitive Child. https://www.thehighlysensitivechild.com/ Please share your thoughts in the comment section.  A Blog about Sensory Processing Sensitivity from the Worldview of a High Sensing Male Note: This article is largely speculative and was written to generate thoughtful conversation on flow state, gamma brainwaves, DMT, and the relationship of the three. It is to be taken as such. In a recent blog article I published for Highly Sensitive Refuge, I wrote about flow state and its importance to facilitate goals and increase happiness. In the article, I suggested ways to enter flow state in a conscious, meaningful way, particularly using mindfulness techniques, such as meditation. A brainwave frequency often associated with flow state is gamma. We think of high cognitive and thinking states mostly task-oriented to be in High Beta. But gamma is a faster frequency between 25 to 140 Hz. Gamma waves are the fastest brain waves and occur most often when you are alert and attentive to a task. When your brain produces higher levels of gamma brain waves, you tend to be happier and more receptive. This, of course, is a good thing. Gamma waves produce a coherent, unified perception across brain regions. Which sounds a lot like flow state. Now, I'd like to introduce another possible way to enter flow state. By use of microdosing psychoactive substances in a carefully controlled and monitored way. Many of the psychoactive substances have at their root a common substance, DMT. What is DMT? It's a powerful psychedelic drug that has been used by indigenous people in South America and in other parts of the world since time immemorial as part of their religious practices. The substance is a natural substance derived from various plants and contains N-N-Dimethyltryptamine (DMT). When smoked or injected, DMT produces an intense sensation which provides a most profound human experience. Psychedelics are the oldest psychopharmacological agent known to man. They have been used relatively safely for thousands of years. The key characteristic of psychedelic substances is their ability to induce a state of altered perception, thought and feeling, that is not experienced ordinarily except in cases of dreaming or religious ecstasy . To quote an early LSD pioneer, Dr. Daniel X. Freedman, "…the state is portentousness – the capacity of the mind to see more than it can tell, to experience more than it can explicate…to experience boundlessness and boundaryless events from the banal to the profound." This quote describes the full-on, psychedelic experience that we are most familiar with, down the rabbit hole and subject to the psychedelic's active life in our bodies, as to how intense, how long, and how profound. But is there a way to tweak the dosage, to affect increased focus and concentration, and perhaps activate Gamma waves to induce a state of flow without experiencing life-altering or revelatory experiences? Let's see. Isn't DMT (and, for that matter, all hallucinogens) dangerous? The popular perception of psychedelics or entheogens (from the Greek, "to generate the God within.") is that they are dangerous drugs that cause reckless and destructive behavior in individuals and may lead to states of psychosis. This was the perception of leaders in government in the 1970s that lead to classifying entheogens as Schedule I substances, making them illegal by Federal law. It was promoted by conservative politicians to control unruly behavior in the youth of the day, and it intended to restore order in the status quo. Serious research had been conducted for many years before the enactment of the Controlled Substances Act of 1970. It was suggesting that these substances, particularly LSD, showed some promise in aiding in the treatment of depression and addictions. That all stopped with the enactment of this law. Research stopped, and many people went to jail for possession of these substances. Fortunately, the restrictions on research have eased in the last few years, and progress, albeit slowly, is being made in demonstrating benefits, long known but now being shown again in controlled studies. As a result, psychedelics are generally considered safe, with a low probability of dependence or addiction. This does not mean that they are without hazards. And should not be used without some controls and considerations for legality. What is desperately needed is more research and guidance on usage for constructive purposes. For this article, we will focus on the usage of DMT. DMT is generally inhaled, ingested, or injected and produces intense psychedelic experiences usually short, i.e., 10-15 minutes. At higher doses, the experience is intense and often seemingly otherworldly. At lower doses, the effects produce mild mood elevation and calming sensations. Interestingly, DMT does occur naturally in human and other mammal brains. Trace amounts of DMT are found in the human pineal gland and other parts of the body. This endogenous DMT helps contribute to higher-order brain functioning and learning, and memory. These are key aspects in flow state. What is the relationship between DMT and GAMMA and Flow? How often do humans naturally enter the Gamma brain wave state? Well, I suppose that would correlate with how often we are in a state of high alert waking consciousness. That, in turn, may correlate with the type of engagement you have with work, play and hobbies. There does appear to be a relationship between higher intelligence and gamma brainwave state activity. That does make sense since this higher brainwave state would likely be firing more often in people of higher intelligence as they often engage in highly focused intellectual activities (my speculation). Is there a relationship between gamma brainwaves and flow state? Gamma has all the earmarks of flow state. Focused concentration, alertness, and engagement to a task. For this article, I was unable to find a study related to the two, perhaps, that study is in progress now, or maybe I just missed it. But the inference from what I was able to read does make sense to conjecture that they two are related. Both use higher cognitive functioning, memory, and prior learning to create a state of high engagement. Thus, gamma may be a biomarker of high-functioning flow. Does DMT (or other entheogens) put us into a hyper flow state at its extreme or lower doses, a more normal functioning flow state? The use of DMT has been shown to alter the alpha brain waves of subjects and increase traveling brainwaves from the occipital region of the brain to the frontal areas. This forward traveling effect is correlated with visual perception, which appears to be enhanced with DMT usage. Alpha waves were reduced in these traveling packets, and delta and theta waves increased. However, the study pointed out that there was a liberation of sorts of lower-level information streaming forward to the brain's frontal areas, typically top-down. This finding could be significant in flow as much of flow state may be affected by memory and prior learning. With a liberated channel streaming more data inbound, DMT might influence flow. Endogenous DMT is suggested to influence the cognitive functions of the brain directly. What does this mean to HSPs? Because HSPs are naturally deep thinkers, deep processors, why even go there? Do we really need to ingest an entheogen to get into flow state or any other deep state of consciousness? Well, the answer is simple – it depends. It depends on the individual and how adventurous they are, I suppose. The real question is: is there a benefit to doing something like this? Without question, trying to reach flow state has proven benefits (see the blog post I referenced in the beginning). Increasing gamma brainwaves through various meditative practices were shown to be effective. The study also noted that expert meditators tended to have greater attentive states and limited mind wandering, both artifacts of flow state. Naturally, there are other physiological benefits to meditation besides aiding in entering flow state, but taken in whole, the benefit to HSPs seems profound. Moreover, there appears to be a line of research now devoted to the neuronal correlates of meditation techniques known as contemplative neuroscience. I certainly hope this research branch bears fruit. Nevertheless, it is interesting to note that meditation, flow state, and psychedelic substances inhibit self-referencing (see Default Mode Network, DMN) processing. It is somewhat related to the notion of blocking a form of self-consciousness or de se thoughts, which focus on first-person thinking. This is especially relevant for HSPs, who spend a great deal of time doing self-referencing thinking, which can often be limiting and self-defeating. Achieving flow state via activity, meditation, or even with entheogens might aid in creating breakthrough states for HSPs (or others) locked in perpetual self-defeating mode. The ability to reach an epiphanal moment requires the ability to let go or surrender and the ability to be in a state of total absorption or attention. Again, getting into that state where the DMN is limited. More research is needed but in the meantime. Let's look at microdosing for wellness and mental health. Another recent study found that chronic, intermittent, low doses of DMT produced an antidepressant effect and fear extinction learning in rats without impacting working memory or social interaction. Shane LeMaster, a sports psychologist, states that "flow is this sense where your mind suddenly just gets out of your way." He believes that flow state can be reached with microdoses of psychedelics and has found a microdose can keep him in flow most of the day. He believes flow aids in brain synchronization. Another subject self-reporting study showed that microdosing LSD and psilocybin produced several benefits in subjects, including lower dysfunctional attitudes and negativity, higher wisdom, more open-mindedness, and greater creativity. In addition, microdosing produced in many users helps manage depression, anxiety, and PTSD, reduced or eliminated addictions, enhanced moods, creativity, mindfulness, and emotional response. Now with all of that said, let's remember that psychedelic substances are still, for the most part, illegal in the US and most countries of the world. There are now some states allowing some usage of these substances to limited degrees. Nevertheless, I urge caution for anyone pursuing the usage of entheogens, regardless of your intent. Things are changing for the better, albeit slowly. Keep informed. Here are some other precautions:
Please share your thoughts in the comment section.  A Blog about Sensory Processing Sensitivity from the Worldview of a High Sensing Male A term has surfaced recently into my consciousness: neurodivergent. What does this mean? There is a movement afoot to expand the view of what we consider normal brain functioning that would now include many developmental disorders that would be seen as dysfunctional in the past. The thought is to expand what we now consider a wider spectrum of mental diversity. Judy Singer, a sociologist who has autism, coined the term in the late 1990s to include these disorders as normal variations in how the brain processes and functions. The idea behind this diversity is to demonstrate that although to the general population, these "specializations" might seem aberrant, in fact, they may be considered strengths, areas of specialized focus. The argument for encasing the idea of normal divergence of human mental functioning expressed by these variations would consider them to be adaptations, which provide strengths and diversity to the human genome. Furthermore, many experts believe that because these adaptations remain within the human population, they have some evolutionary purpose and advantages. For HSPs, this should sound familiar. Normality This seems to beg the question, what is normal? It is reported that over a fourth of Americans and up to one-half over a lifetime suffer from some type of mental disorder. This would suggest that at some point, most of us suffer from some type of dysfunction, whether temporary or permanent. However, how much dysfunction is needed to be then termed abnormal? As Peter Kramer suggests, "If for many of the factors difference confers some degree of vulnerability to dysfunction, then we will find that we are all defective in one fashion or another." If we take into account the enormous diversity of the human genome then certainly defining normal becomes more problematic. Does normality imply that one is free from dysfunction, or can we now agree that as we all share the human experience, we are prone to divergent functioning, which must be accounted for as part and parcel of what it means to be human? As Kramer states, "the awareness that we all bear flaws is humbling. But it could lead us to a new sense of inclusiveness and tolerance, recognition that imperfection is the condition of every life." Could then this be implied that our "dys-perfection" be the fruit of our human existence and a key contributor to overall human adaptation and survivability? Neurodiversity attempts to cover a wide range of developmental disorders, principally: Autism, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Dyslexia, and Dyspraxia. Autism is a spectrum disorder classified as a complex neurodevelopmental condition that includes impairment of communication and social skills, combined with repetitive behaviors, and impaired learning and executive functioning. ADHD covers a wide range of attention and organizing skills deficits that often manifest as impulsivity and distraction. Dyslexia refers to reading or writing problems that cannot otherwise be explained by a lack of intellectual, learning, or sensory issues. Dyspraxia refers to a condition in which impairment occurs in the execution of motor skills and the ability to execute a plan of action. In addition, some dyspraxic individuals may experience Sensory Integration Dysfunction, which creates oversensitivity or under sensitivity to physical stimuli. Dyspraxic individuals may also experience what is considered a type of sensory overload, which causes panic attacks. If seen in the light of neurodiversity, are all of these behaviors adaptations? One theory proposes that these disorders result from environmental factors due to early childhood stress and trauma. Yet, complex human behaviors are rarely just products of the environment but a complicated interplay between genetics and environment. Even in their seeming dysfunction, these disorders can show the amazing adaptability of humans. It is noted that people with dyslexia can adapt to their struggle with reading to develop efficient and remarkable visual memory, which aids in reading and comprehension. In his book, Attention Deficit Disorder: a Different Perception, Thom Hartmann argued that an accounting of ADHD might be to describe the disorder due to an adaptation from a characteristic of earlier hunter-gatherer humans now stuck in a farming society. The idea that adaptive characteristics from a different, older cultural milieu did not translate well into a society that had moved on from nomadic life to a more stationary life. The genetic traits once useful in hunting animals, i.e. hyperfocus, were no longer as important and useful in raising animals and crops. Yet, the trait survived to bring us individuals with ADHD. Hartmann argues that ADHD is not necessarily maladaptive nor a disorder but needs to be seen in the context of its original purpose. There is some research supporting this hypothesis. Again, the point is, what is normal? Ways in which HSPs may be considered to be non-normal. Studies have pointed out that often highly sensitive people may be confused with having a variety of disorders including autism, schizophrenia, social anxiety disorder, and are prone to episodes of depression and moodiness. In fact, the trait of Sensory Processing Sensitivity has been referred to as introverted emotional temperament, chronic cortical/cortisol arousal, hypervigilance, and innate shyness. Thank God for Dr. Elaine Aron giving it a much more positive framing. Nevertheless, we are a minority population within humans, which makes us a little non-standard. Many HSPs report, along with other people that are not highly sensitive, that the trait is problematic at times, making life complicated and challenging. When overwhelm kicks in, SPS can be considered debilitating to some HSPs if they do not know how to handle the overstimulation we often experience. In addition, there is a certain amplification of life's experiences, which may lead to depression, anxiety, and fear-based limitations. Then there's the social isolation that often accompanies our introvert dominant personalities, and for the extraverted HSPs, the dealing with the need for downtime. Yet, taken as a whole, can we say the trait is a dysfunction? I think not. I still hold true the explanation of Dr. Aron, that the trait is an evolutionary adaptation necessary within our species. It continues to proliferate through time and does have a purpose. As Dr. Tracy Cooper often says, we are a fine-tuned instrument. Fussy at times, but necessarily so, to bring about the sensory detecting purposes of our nature. To be able to detect the subtle, the nuanced, and the environmental nuggets others miss. Is our trait (SPS) a form of specialization? Yes, most definitely. When you consider the HSP's ability to think deeply, deeply consider, and deeply feel, that alone makes the trait a specialization - an adaptation, if you will. And that is on the backend of the processing; if you add the ability to consider and sense the subtleties in the environment to feed that backend, you add a depth and dimension that adds value to observation and deduction. To then tie it all together, you add empathy--the social emotion, which gives HSPs relatability and the ability to sense others, aid others, feel others, gives us a potent arsenal of capabilities, that despite our challenges, make us specialists amongst humans. We are the canary in the coal mine, the early warning system, and to use a crude metaphor, the pebble in the shoe, warning our fellow humans of impending trouble. We may be a pain in the ass to some, but we are necessary. If that is dysfunctional, then why hasn't nature selected us out? Every day and it seems more so now than ever before; we expand the terms to being human. Neurodivergence attempts to continue this trend. Why not move beyond developmental disorders and include rare personality traits or minority personality characteristics such as SPS? Doesn't that add to the complex stew of human personality traits? So, what if we are neurodivergent? Should we be? We are just what we are and what nature intended for us – all of us. What if we called it “neuroinclusive?” Please share your thoughts in the comment section.   A Blog about Sensory Processing Sensitivity from the Worldview of a High Sensing Male
Most HSPs I know assume that we as a group are mostly introverts (which is true, about 70%), quiet and observant types. This idea often serves us well in assessing situations and navigating through life. One of our primary traits is the trait of observing and then processing – deeply. This deep thinking is often, and I would say mostly, done quietly. So, a model for most HSPs might be watching, sometimes listening, then remaining still and quiet to aid our thinking. We also know that all HSPs are not introverts; however, we are all observant. Sometimes we observe and do not voice our opinions for various reasons. I suggest a few in the next section. Queen Elizabeth I of England had a motto in Latin: Video et Taceo, which is translated to mean “I see and remain silent. “ Although her motivations for its use might have been different from what a typical HSP might have, it seems a fitting motto for highly sensitive people. How can this be interpreted? There is a multitude of ways this phrase can be interpreted. Let’s look at a few.
So, how does this apply to highly sensitive people? What stood out about this succinct phrase was the emphasis on watching, listening, and pausing, not responding immediately, but rather thinking, pondering, processing. Isn’t this what HSPs do naturally? Aren’t we generally the quiet, contemplative, sensitive types who are NOT the loudest in the room? Doesn’t keen observational skills require almost a quiet attention to detail? Doesn’t talking, speaking interfere in some ways with observation and learning? I think that this style of learning and observing is natural for highly sensitive people. Because listening is not a passive process and is now considered active, as is speech, there can be some interference in learning if the two overlap. For example, in learning languages, it was often regarded as critical to have the student speak early on in the learning process to solidify elocution. Now, the thinking is that more time initially needs to be spent actively listening before speech attempts to learn the mechanics of the language before attempting meaningful speech. If you think about that, it makes perfect sense. Isn’t that how you learned your native language as a child? You listened long before you spoke. Comprehension is enhanced with extended listening. Listening for speaking does not fully utilize memory, which is a requirement for learning long term. However, listening for comprehension lays a solid framework for later learning to speak and uses both short- and long-term memory. You could almost slap a post-it note over the whole thing with the phrase Video et Taceo. Environmental sensitivity factors shape learning styles. These factors help an individual to navigate their world. Some of the individual’s learning style is foundational, i.e., genetic, but other factors come into play due to the environment. Is it then possible that a “video et taceo” style of learning or operating is native to HSPs? Think of our quiet observational nature. One could argue that Video et Taceo would generally be a good motto for HSPs. Some would argue that being quiet is not always a virtue. But it seems for HSP being quiet is almost a native state, certainly for HSP introverts. Perhaps, being silent is a precursor for wisdom, foregoing the constant chattering of idle dialogue, to devote more brain time to observation and learning. My father used to say to me when I was talking too much, “Son, do you have something to say, or do you just want to say something?” Silence is golden or, so we are told. Can HSPs use our silence and observations to add value to the world? At what point do we break the silence and speak our truth? How long do we let our observational brew percolate before serving up to an unsuspecting world? I sometimes wonder if we can be too silent for too long. What use is the wisdom we glean from the environment if we don’t share it? Just like with learning a language, at some point, you must attempt to speak, however feeble that may be. Breaking the silence is like breaking wind; you can only hold it in so long. A multitude of quotations from wise humans. What is your favorite quotation on silence that encapsulates your personal philosophy? Reply in comment section.
Please share your thoughts in the comment section.  A Blog about Sensory Processing Sensitivity from the Worldview of a High Sensing Male
What do you think it is that makes HSPs so self-reflective? We inherently have the internals for deep processing, deep reflection, and deep emotional churn, but is this all that is at play here? Is this a sufficient explanation? In reading Michael Pollen’s book, How to Change Your Mind: What the New Science of Psychedelics Teaches Us About Consciousness, Dying, Addiction, Depression, and Transcendence, I discovered a term that intrigued me. He speaks of the default mode network (DMN) and how psychoactive plants and drugs interfere with the function of the default mode network in the human brain. The DMN is a brain network of various brain structures instrumental in creating moments of self-reflection and daydreaming when the brain is engaged in a task-negative state. It is where our minds go when we are not in goal-seeking, active task mode. It made me wonder if this is a state that HSPs are prone to enter more than non-HSPs. This type of reverie and disengaged self-reflection reminds me of the rumination many HSPs get caught up in regularly. If so, does this explain our tendency for long periods of deep reflection, and are we naturally drawn to this state because of our deep processing capabilities and the need for self-reflection? What is the Default Mode Network? Hans Berger first proposed a default mode network, the inventor of the electroencephalograph (EEG), to account for his observation that the brain, even at rest, is busy. Marcus Raichle of the Washington University School of Medicine later coined the term default mode network. DMN is characterized by daydreaming, future-looking thoughts, gauging other’s perspectives, and especially with self-reflection. An output of DMN state is often spontaneous thinking which can lead to creative thinking. DMN seems to begin developing in the human brain around ages nine to twelve. DMN may also be implicated with disorders such as Alzheimer’s, Autism and Schizophrenia, by reduced activity of the DMN. Even in the DMN state, the brain consumes about 20 % of the body’s energy, much more than any other organ. DMN is not still fully understood. The Purpose of the DMN The DMN is now often associated with the social brain and the social understanding of others. It appears to be involved with emotion perception, empathy, theory of mind, and morality. This leads to aiding in understanding others, understanding self, controlling self, and processes that control the social interface between self and others. Its tie to memory also aids in making predictions about the behavior of others and provides a framework for moral judgments of other’s behaviors. It is also most notably tied to the notion of ego or self-identity. The ego is our self-definition of who we think we are, regardless of how subjective and incorrect that definition may be. In other words, when the brain is not task busy, it often turns inward to think of itself. The operative word here is daydreaming, something that HSPs do regularly. Another reason to suspect that DMN has special meaning for highly sensitive people. To me, this sounds much like a type of twilight thinking mode, a reverie state, much like twilight sleep, that few moments of in and out of consciousness we experience just before bedtime. This mode of thinking sees the world through our perceptions and ideals, sometimes to exclude external feedback. I have often mentioned this in the blogs and my book, Confessions of a Sensitive Man. As deep-thinking individuals, we often create ideas of ourselves that have no social confirmation because we hold them tightly to our vests. We lock ourselves in these self-contained prisons and never test our theories in the outside world. We are, perhaps, locked in our DMN based logical loops. What is the relevance to HSPs? Are we more prone to activation of this state than most of the population? Just following anecdotal social media discussion group conversations would indicate that this may be the case. Many HSPs, especially introverted HSPs, would find comfort in this type of state – brain at rest, task neutral and reflecting on self, and predicting the behaviors of others. A controlled state of mind, where outcomes are constantly evaluated in a safe place, evaluating memories (rumination) and developing strategies of future behavior. A staging ground in facing the world. I am not placing a value judgment on this, simply looking at the likelihood that this would be something that many HSPs, myself included, would find comforting in our downtime. It is also a place of spontaneous idea generation, resulting in some very creative ideas and could explain our tendency towards creativity. Conversely, it could lead to too much rumination, which is often the antecedent to depression and anxiety. Can this state be induced and controlled? Since the brain “defaults” to this mode when we are not actively engaged in task-positive activities or goal-seeking activities, whenever we remain in a task-negative situation, we are going to be in DMN, unless, of course, we are asleep. The extent that we are more “active” or “non-active” may be the determining factor as to whether we are in DMN or not. It is interesting to note that meditation, a task that would seem task neutral, helps facilitate the entering of DMN and can positively affect both DMN and TPN modulation. In a Buddhist sense, the DMN can be like the monkey mind, scattered and full of intrusive random thinking. Meditation is a way to help harness the monkey by applying mindfulness to aid in controlling daydreaming for purposeful pursuits. Daydreaming can be positive constructive (creativity seeking), or guilty dysphoric (obsessive anxiety), or attentionally out of control (scatterbrained). If we use the DMN for constructive pursuits, we are fully utilizing its positive capacity. Since the DMN is both forward and backward seeking (attachment to memory), it can keep us from staying in the present moment. It can also take us down well-worn neural pathways that can lead us to anxiety, worry, and pessimism. The DMN can be overactivated, leading to hyperconnectivity, which sounds like something many HSPs should be familiar with, much like our overstimulation. How do we control this? For one, we can alter our consciousness with mindfulness mediation. What has also been suggested is the use of mind-altering plant medicines (i.e., psilocybin, mescaline, ayahuasca, et al.) Psychedelic drugs deactivate the DMN’s integration function within the brain, a homeostatic state that leaves us in a state of “baby “consciousness, a primitive functioning state. I’ll leave that for another day’s discussion but mounting research in the use of psychoactive plants is showing promise for this in a controlled way with therapeutic supervision. Another option is to change the neural pathway route by invoking TPN-related tasks. This is essentially leaving DMN mode by thinking outside of the box, in essence creating new thoughts. This may lead to another option that utilizes unfettered creative thinking. Thinking abstractly, like purposeful playfulness, opens the door to new ideas and breaks the sameness of DMN thinking. I liken this to hopeful, optimistic thinking. Finally, we can change the channel by focusing on the positive past versus the negative past. Focus on successes and not dwell on failures. A recent study highlights the observation that tactile stimulation appears to deactivate the DMN as well as does the use of visual and auditory stimulation. So, get out there and hug someone, with their permission, of course. Watch a movie or listen to some meaningful music if you get trapped in DMN no man’s land. Are there any benefits to this state? It appears that DMN is part of the standard equipment with human brains. It has both positive and negative attributes, which we should all be mindful of. It seems clear that harnessed with mindfulness being in DMN mode can lead to moments of creativity and reverie. Its use of memory to look backward and forward can, without your control, lead to depression or anxiety or positivity and confidence, depending on your controlling the focus. It appears to some extent to be a gateway to the unconscious or at least unconscious long-term memory. That can be good or bad, depending on what is retrieved. And it appears to be a fine line between states of dementia, PTSD, depression, and Autism. Nevertheless, we should be aware of when we are in DMN and how it is affecting us. By reducing unbridled DMN thought creating, we can allow ourselves to experience the present moment with greater objectivity, which Shapiro calls “re-perceiving.” With focused attention via mental training to reduce competitive distraction and daydreaming, we can spend some of the negative DMN time on something more optimistic and positive. Although I must be honest, I do love my daydreaming time. Please share your thoughts in the comment section. |
AuthorBill Allen currently lives in Lutz, Florida. He previously lived in Bend, Oregon. He is a certified hypnotist and brain training coach at BrainPilots.com. He believes that male sensitivity is not so rare, but it can be confounding for most males living in a culture of masculine insensitivity which teaches boys and men to disconnect from their feelings and emotions. His intent is to use this blog to chronicle his personal journey and share with others. 
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