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The Sensitive Man - Alphabet Soup - HSM & INFJ

4/26/2017

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The complications of being an HSP are already pretty demanding, but what if you added the personality type of INFJ to your identity? Yes, if you consider rare personality types as another layer of complexity. Well, actually, INFJ type is probably more common in HSPs than they would be, say in the general population.

Many of the INFJ attributes are overlapping with common HSM characteristics, so it’s possible that it really doesn’t add too much more complexity, but if you factor in the rarity of this personality – around 1-3 % percent of the world population, it is likely to be even a small subset of HSPs in the world. In males, it’s even rarer with only 1% of all males presenting as INFJ and I would guess that all of them are HSMs. So what exactly is an INFJ?

Carl Jung defined certain personality types as part of his body of work, largely based on cognitive function and style. From that seminal work psychologists Isabel Myers and Katherine Briggs further developed an instrument for testing personality typology, called the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI).

 The focus is on sixteen different personality types composed of four major indicators: Extroversion/Introversion, Sensing/Intuition, Thinking/Feeling and Judgment/Perception. Each of the four elements reflects a particular style of dealing with the world, for example: Extroversion is outwardly energetic, while Introversion is inwardly energetic, the same would be true for Sensing (fact based) versus Intuition (insight). Another dichotomy would Thinking (cognitive logic) or Feeling (values and emotion), and finally the plan of attack, Judgment (structure, plan) and Perception (flow guided).

The combination of the four elements produces sixteen basic personality types, each with its own style and process for interacting with the world. If you think about this, our personality develops as we age and serves as an outward mask we present to the world. It’s hardly static and highly interactive.

If you have been following the blog for the last six months, you should be getting a pretty good handle on the HSP personality type and in particular the HSM or male version of HSP. What is interesting as of late is there has been a lot of attention on the Introvert personality type, such as in Susan Cain’s book, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking. What is not being talked about as much but will be, I believe, is the overlap in the HSP personality type and the Introvert personality. In fact, about seventy percent of HSPs are Introverts. What percent HSPs make of Introverts as a whole, is still unclear.  

But, back to our original proposal about the combination of being HSP and being INFJ and the uniqueness of being twenty per cent of the population on one attribute and being one per cent of the population on the other. We’re talking rare air here.Let’s delve a little deeper in to the INFJ personality type.

INFJ’s are indeed rare individuals. They exhibit many of the characteristics of HSPs. They are intuition dominant, relying a great deal on this subconscious process for assessing the world. They tend to see things in patterns, big pictures, and symbolic meaning. The live largely in the abstract, are quite independent, enjoy working behind the scenes and are very private individuals. Ironically, they can seem to be extroverted and animated when engaged in passionate dialogue about something they care about and can even sport a personal charisma that is arresting, if not a bit off type.

They love to work in environments that are harmonious and if put in chaotic and hectic situations, can withdraw due to overwhelm. They have keen insight in problem solving, even though they are less rational in their thinking and rely heavily on their feelings and intuition.

Emotion, gut feel and internal sensing play a big role in how they interact with the world. There is often a strict perfectionism about them, that can seem almost snobbish as they survey their footprint in the world,  conscientiousness on steroids. They are easily hurt by what they may seem is an indifferent world, which may not have time for their grandiose visions and emotionally intuitive problem solving methodology.

You can easily see why artists, creative types, activists, healers and spiritually inclined folk would be represented in this group. In part, the same types you see in HSPs.  HSPs tend to be represented well in the MBTI areas that feature Introversion, Feeling and Intuition (INFJ, INFP, INTJ, INTP).

INFJ’s are caring, imaginative people. Some examples of INFJs are Gandhi, Eleanor Roosevelt, Florence Nightingale, Shirley MacLaine, Jimmy Carter and even Carl Jung. A great crowd to be running with, but INFJs have some negative baggage, too.

INFJ’s have the highest marital dissatisfaction ratings of any of the personality types, go figure. Under stress, they can act very impulsively, even destructively, make decisions without thinking or evaluating consequences. They can be hypercritical of others, finding fault everywhere and display an OCD like obsession with meaningless details.  At times, INFJs can go against their own moral code and break rules, become very selfish, and display a shadow self that is really not their core values.  Again, like most HSPs the INFJ needs downtime to reevaluate, re-energize and decompress.

Now does being an HSM magnify the INFJ traits, if you are both? If being an HSM is as much a physiological based (Sensory Processing Sensitivity) personality type as INFJ is a cognitive personality type, then it would seem logical that being an HSM would amplify, through heightened sensitivity, the traits inherent in being an INFJ. Of course, if all INFJs are in fact, HSPs, then there would be no other option. And I wonder if that is not a valid assumption.  

Perhaps, I’m wildly speculating here about the mix, since both personality types are small populations, but not all HSPs are INFJs. Certainly too, not all HSMs are INFJs, so at the end of the day, I think when you do see this combination,  you have a rare cross breeding of personality types that can make life challenging, interesting and unique.

That fact that so few men are HSM/INFJ, means that interacting in an often unsympathetic world, which reacts to rare personality types in sometimes callous or harsh ways, you can see where the problems might arise for HSM/INFJs. My conclusion is not that the personality combo is bad or maladaptive; I think it might be more problematic because of its uniqueness. In the end, being understood is a key to happiness and for HSM/INFJs that is often a hard commodity to find.

Here are a few tips if you believe you may be an HSM that is also an INFJ:
  1. If you haven’t done so, take the MBTI test to determine your personality type. I have found the test to be reliable over the course of my life. I took it the first time when I was nineteen and have taken it multiple times over my life. The test has been consistent and reliable in calling out my INFJ nature.  It’s an interesting insight into who you are; just realize that it is not a complete mapping of you. https://www.mbtionline.com/?utm_source=MBF&utm_medium=link&utm_campaign=online
  2. Recognize the rarity of your personality type in just the sheer numbers. It’s sometimes going to be hard to find the people you relate to and interact well with you. Being an outlier doesn’t mean you have to be an outcast. You are unique even within your uniqueness.
  3. Read the book, Please Understand Me, by David Keirsey and Marilyn Bates. A great book on the personality typology we have discussed. Seeing some of your unique personality traits on paper may help to put it in perspective.
  4. Realize you are here for a reason, you have a purpose. This spoken like a true INFJ. You will have to live outside of your comfort zone as an HSM and an INFJ and at times, as is now the new buzz word, show grit.
  5. It is more important for you to find your place in life, your unique place, more so than it is for most folks. Meaningful work, meaningful relationships, and a meaningful life are important to you. Understand you and how you function and understand the above principles of meaningfulness and you will thrive.   

Thanks for stopping by, until next week…
 
References:
http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/tt/t-articl/mb-simpl.htm
http://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/mbti-basics/
http://www.humanmetrics.com/personality/infj
https://www.truity.com/personality-type/INFJ
http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/personality/types/infj/overview/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/INFJ
http://www.keirsey.com/4temps/counselor.asp
http://personalityjunkie.com/the-infj/
 
 

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    Author

    Bill Allen currently lives in Bend, Oregon. He is a certified hypnotist and brain training coach , author and advocate for HSP Men.  He believes that male sensitivity is not so rare, but it can be confounding for most males living in a culture of masculine insensitivity which teaches boys and men to disconnect from their feelings and emotions. His intent is to use this blog to chronicle his personal journey and share with others.
    This blog is not intended to provide advice or counsel about being an HSM. Consult with your health provider if you have issues that would  warrant their aid. This is simply one man's opinion and should be taken as such.


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