The Sensitive Man - Valuing Your Sensitivity in the Workplace

In a recent blog article, I wrote that I was relocating to Texas. Well, that was about two months ago and because I shut down my business in Oregon I now find myself looking for work again at age 61. I have worked for years in Information Technology for a large financial institution and took an early retirement a few years back to pursue my small business idea. Now with a gap of five years or so, I need to get back to the corporate workforce to serve as an anchor job, while I’m here in Texas or until I can reestablish my business.

Now, to be honest, I never liked working in corporate America and never thought that I’d ever have to go back to find employment there.  But, life has its interesting way of steering you round and round, sometimes in circular fashion. Now that I am back pursuing a regular job again, I have given a lot of thought to what kind of job or job environment would best suit me as a highly sensitive man.  And more broadly,  what kind of environment would be best for HSPs, regardless of the industry?

Lately, I’ve been seeing more and more articles published about the trend towards looking for more empathetic and emotionally intelligent workers. There seems to be some movement in favor of the soft skills that HSPs tend to naturally have and are most comfortable using at work and home. This all tends to make for interesting TED talks, but where exactly are these type of jobs? Having worked an entire career in Information Technology, a competitive, high stress and almost soulless job, it seems almost impossible to find an IT firm that would even consider these newly valued traits,  the qualities which HSPs bring to the table.

As an IT manager, I know I brought a penchant for clear communication, empathy for staff, emphasis on esprit de corps, a genuine interest in them as people, and a recognition that we all rise or fall together. I was well liked by my teams and respected by other managers within the organization. Like most HSPs, I valued deeper meaning in the job, more harmony, and cohesiveness within the team and a desire to get the job done right, even if it meant doing it more deliberately.

 I enjoyed coaching my teams and enjoyed watching them grow and develop as the years went by. These are traits that HSPs bring to management. I was most comfortable when my style was not constantly challenged and undue pressure was placed on my teams and myself that I thought was unreasonable. I was fortunate for many years to be reporting to a manager, who valued my contributions and the management style I employed.

As deep thinkers and emotionally connected individuals do HSPs make better managers or even better workers? I think the answer is clearly yes. Because we are more reflective, we naturally process more data and information more carefully, making us if given the time, more accurate thinkers. We absorb more information, and although this may cause overwhelm if not given space and time to process we can analyze more data points than most and formulate a clearer big picture perspective.

Because of our enormous potential for empathy, we also tend to be more nuanced in our handling and dealing with people. Not only does this make us better team members, but especially better leaders.

Our characteristics such as high perception, empathy, focus on justice and fairness, loyalty, our passion, creativity, and generosity collectively make us almost the perfect employee. Yet, where is the box on the application form where you can check off for HSP?

Nowhere. And largely because, we are often seen by non-HSPs as individuals with singular HSP characteristics in the negative, such as – high sensitivity, or overly emotional, or prone to overwhelm. However, when seen as a whole, the collective of our HSP characteristics mentioned above, the perspective is entirely different. The prejudice against HSPs is based on ignorance, pure and simple. In fact, I think companies should be seeking out HSPs for three main reasons: creativity, loyalty, and empathy.

How we perform as employees in the workplace is a function of the environment itself. Given encouragement, space and time, we are among the most gifted, most talented staff members any company can have. Yet, if the environment is toxic, at least to HSPs, we can wilt like flowers in a waterless vase. Seems simple enough.

The notion of HSPs as a personality type is gaining traction amongst those in the world of psychology and the world of the arts but doesn’t seem to be making a whole lot of headway in corporate HR or in management suites. Much still needs to be done to promote the benefits or hiring and nurturing of HSPs and training managers on how to get the most from the highly sensing worker.

There is no question we are out there in numbers (twenty percent of the population), and straddle across racial, gender and ethnic lines. If twenty percent of your employees are underperforming because your environment sucks, who’s fault is that? And what is that telling you about you?

For HSMs and HSPs, due to all things discussed in this article, we tend towards working in areas where competitiveness, aggressiveness, and high energy are at a minimum, which of course, relegates many us to low demand, low paying jobs. Sad but true. Is it possible to have high meaningfulness at work and high pay? Do these two things ever meet in the work vortex? Yes, I think it can be found, but needs a more considerate approach to job seeking. It requires more flexibility and more willingness to do an exhaustive search, but I do believe it can happen. That’s my plan anyway.

Here’s some tips on planning this out and finding best fit jobs for HSMs.

• First, be very clear about the qualities and characteristics of the job best suited for your personality. You may not get them all in a job, but rank the ones that are deal breakers. This is an important preliminary step. Remember, you will not be able to control everything in environments in which you are not either the owner or the site manager.  
•  Recognize your unique personality characteristics. Not all HSPs are great artists or brilliant intuitive thinkers, but we as a general rule, have patterned characteristics that are native to HSP personalities. Value them as currency. This will be a part of your resume and calling card.
• Next, look hard and define your strengths, regardless of how often you may not see them listed on job descriptions. You may have a strength that is needed, which is not listed, but nevertheless, may give you a decided edge. Access your weaknesses as well. Determine a strategy to handle them in the workplace either with training, developing new skills or sometimes just writing them off.  Don’t fret about not begin ideal. The later strategy may be useful for HSPs because we tend towards perfectionism.
• Look for employers that value employee health, wellness, and diversity. Award winning companies in those areas, tend to have happier employees. Avoid companies with reputations for toxic environments for HSPs – read: dynamic, ambiguous, stressful environments that value high energy over thoughtful, methodical and nuanced modes of operation. You will not succeed there even if everyone you know has gone through that gauntlet and lived to tell about it. Nada.
• Think six degrees of separation – this is code for networking. You don’t need to know the endpoint person (i.e., the hiring manager), just the one that knows the one that knows the one, etc. Finally, make it fun, like a scavenger hunt. Make a game of finding the hiring manager. A resume will never, ever, ever, present you has a human being. A brief talk will.
• Finally, boldly go forward. Value yourself and know that you will thrive in the right environment. Most worker bees don’t know this. You do because you are a highly sensing person.

 
Thanks for dropping by, until next week…
  
 
References:
http://www.hrzone.com/perform/people/highly-sensitive-people-in-the-workplace-from-shame-to-fame

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/20130626195513-59549-empathy-and-jobs-that-pay-100-000

https://atmanco.com/blog/working-environment/how-to-manage-sensitive-people-workplace/

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/20140903182945-1552470-3-reasons-hsps-make-better-leaders

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/best-leaders-highly-sensitive-elizabeth-fran%C3%A7ois